"What is it?" I ask.
Dean laughs.
Walker too.
They share a look—the kind of look I used to share with Lily. That best friends we're the only people who get each other thing.
"Oh please." Leighton shakes her head. "You were talking about it forever." She moves closer to me. Leans in to whisper. "They got him a blow-up doll."
I look to my definitely not a boyfriend. "Why?"
"Hey, if he's not gonna move on to a woman, why not try this substitute?" Dean offers.
"It's cheaper than you'd think," Walker says.
"And my boy tested the equipment." Dean winks at me. "Hope you aren't jealous."
"You… you didn't, right?" I'm pretty sure he's teasing. Because giving someone a used blow up doll… and Walker wouldn't. Right?
"Yeah. Of course." Walker laughs.
Ryan joins us. He takes a long swig from his red solo cup, gives the group a long once-over, shakes his head. "Can't believe I fell for this we need to have a meeting Saturday night because it's always dead shit."
"It wasn't our finest work," Walker admits.
"Speak for yourself," Dean says.
"Yeah. Dean's proud when he can tie his shoes," Leighton says.
Dean shows off his checkered Vans. "Too difficult. I made the switch back in middle school."
Ryan takes another swig from his drink. "This is good shit."
"Only the best for my big brother." Dean blows him a kiss. It's sarcastic. And it's not. There's affection in his blue eyes.
"Yeah. Right." Ryan shakes his head. He turns to Leighton. "How'd they rope you into this?"
"I wanted to celebrate your birthday." She folds her arms. Hurt creeps into her voice. "Is that really implausible?"
"You're too smart to think I'd enjoy a surprise party," he says.
; Her eyes fix on Ryan. "You do. You just don't show it."
He shakes his head no way.
"Is that the only gesture you know?" Dean teases.
Ryan flips him off.
Everyone laughs.
"I just got out of a relationship too. Well, a few months ago. Walker mentioned that you, and, uh…" This is awkward. He's just staring back at me, all intense and glum. "It sucks, huh?"
"Yeah." He nods.
"You never want to love again," I say.