"I'll get it." He turns away from me and moves into the bedroom.
It's right there, ten feet away. I spent every night of the last two years in that room.
This was my home.
And now it's not.
I press my back against the wall to keep from crumbling. That TV is the place where I showed Adam my senior film.
Where I forced him to watch the collected works of Billy Wilder.
We were on that beige couch last month. Laughing. Teasing. I took his spoonful of chocolate pudding and globbed it onto his nose.
He laughed as I climbed into his lap to lick it off.
Then I kissed him.
I took his hands and slid them under my shirt.
I whispered in his ear. Fuck me.
And he shook his head.
And, for some reason, that was it. The last rejection I could take.
I found my own place the next morning.
I ended it that night. Before I could talk myself out of it.
Part of me thinks I'm crazy. How could I leave a sweet, stable, loving man because we never fucked?
Is sex really worth my life being total chaos?
Is it really worth losing my best friend?
Adam steps into the main room holding my bag of camera equipment. He moves closer.
He sets it in front of my feet.
The look on his face breaks my heart.
But then I deserve that. I broke his heart. I blindsided him.
"I miss you, Lacey. I… I'm not going to talk you out of your decision, but I do miss you."
"I miss you too. But I…" My heart gets heavy. My stomach flip-flops. I still love Adam. I'll always love Adam. But it's not that gooey, romantic love. Not anymore. "I have to head out. Work meeting."
"Anything interesting?"
"Yeah. A music video." I pick up the camera bag and hold it close.
Adam's face lights up. He's genuinely happy for me. "That's great. Anyone I know?"
Absolutely. But I can't tell him that. "I'm sworn to secrecy."
He smiles. "A big band?"
"Bigger than I'd expect."