Joel's lips curl into a smile. "Bella, if you're going to think about fucking me, you should really fill me in on the details."
I say nothing.
He motions come here.
I do. I'm still red. I'm still blushing. I'm still thinking about Joel and me getting naked on the balcony.
I look to the setting sun instead. "It's beautiful here." It really is. The stars are bright against the dark sky. They cast a glow over the deep blue ocean and the soft beige sand.
I can hear the waves.
I can smell the salt.
"I'm starting to see why people spend a fortune to live on the beach," I say.
Joel laughs. "You care a lot about money."
"No."
He nods. "Yes."
"It's more that my status is important to my family. They're not bad people. My dad is a great guy, a talented lawyer, a pillar of the community."
"That's his bio, not what makes him a great father."
"He is. In his way. But… Chases aren't touchy feely." I look out at the ocean. "My mom died when I was twelve. Did I tell you that?"
"No."
"It was a heart attack. It happened fast. My dad hasn't been the same since. And my sister, she went the other way."
"The other way?"
"I'm the good girl—"
"She's the bad girl?"
I nod. "Yeah, boys and parties and drugs. For a while. She married a doctor last year and now she's a picture perfect housewife."
"There's this tone to your voice."
"Is there?"
"You don't approve."
"She wasn't happy before. She's not happy now. At least before she was free."
He turns away from me. "I didn't realize women bought into that marriage is a prison shit too."
"It's not that." I bite my lip. I hate the way he's locking me out. Usually, I push my feelings aside to placate people. But I don't want to do that with Joel. "My parents were happy. But Anne… she became this different person. She tried to pretend she's happy, but she's not."
He nods. "I get that."
"I'm not saying we're that. Well, we're not really anything. We only met twenty-four hours ago."
He turns towards me. "Fair."
"You do a lot of flashy stuff for a guy who doesn't like other people caring about status."