"About something Mal said." His gaze goes to the view of the beach outside the windows. "Can't get it out of my head."
I run my fingers over his cheek. He leans into the gesture, but his eyes stay fixed on the ocean. His body stays turned away from mine.
My voice is low, a whisper. "What did he say?"
"Warned me not to break your heart."
"Is that something you were planning on doing?"
"No." He turns towards me. His dark eyes fix on mine. "This might not work. You might get hurt. I might get hurt. I can live with that."
"As opposed to?" I shift my weight between my legs. There's something different about his posture, his voice, his eyes—everything. Whatever it is that's haunting Kit, it's something he feels in his core.
But he's not saying anything.
Suddenly, my stomach is twisting and I'm not feeling steady. I dig my heels into the ground and look back into Kit's eyes. "What else would happen?"
"You ever know an addict?"
"You're not an addict anymore."
He shakes his head. "That's what I mean."
"What is?" I'm not going to take this coy shit lying down. I clamp onto his shoulders and turn his body towards mine. "If you don't want to talk to me, say that."
"You're caring and sweet."
"Thank you?"
"Loyal."
"Yeah."
"Stubborn."
What's his point?
"What if this works and we're happy. Fuck, what if we get married then five years down the line I slip, and drag you to rock bottom with me."
"What if I realize I'm never going to be as famous or talented as my brothers and I get bitter and we grow to resent each other? What if an asteroid crashes into Earth? What if we go to San Francisco the week the big one hits?"
"This is likely."
"No, it's not." I push him towards the wall. He's heavy and strong. I don't get very far. Okay, a softer approach might work better. I rub his shoulders and run my fingers down his chest and stomach. "You take your recovery seriously."
He says nothing.
"All tour, you stayed away from anything that could tempt you."
"Besides flirting with you."
"You know what I mean."
"I watched my mom's soul die, one day at a time. I've seen somebody break because they couldn't believe what someone they once loved was doing."
"I won't do that."
He shakes his head, but he says nothing.