"Me either. But I'm willing to try."
I take a deep breath and look into Ethan's eyes. "What happens if I need you like that again."
"Then I'll be there. I would have waited for you to finish grieving. If you'd asked, I would have waited forever."
I slide my hands under his t-shirt. He's warm and hard and my hands want more of his skin. "What if I ask now?"
"For what?"
"I'm not sure." I chew on my bottom lip. I want a lot from Ethan, but I'm not sure I can ask for it. There's a part of me that believes I don't deserve happiness anymore, that believes I don't deserve Ethan.
He runs his fingers through my hair. It's a patient, gentle touch.
I look up at him. "Wait for me to believe I deserve this. Wait for me to figure out where I want to live and what I want to do with my life. Wait for me to be ready to fall in love with you again."
His voice is sweet and steady. "I will."
"You will?"
"Yeah. Tell me what you need me to do, and it's done."
"Really?" I press my lips together as I stare into his blue eyes.
He nods. He presses his palm against my lower back and pulls my body closer. "I want you around, Vi, and I want to be around."
"I want you around."
"I want to erase all the pain in your life. I want to fill you with pleasure and I want to convince you that you deserve it." He presses his lips to mine.
I kiss him back. In this moment, I'm exactly where I need to be.
I'm whole.
When the kiss breaks, he stares into my eyes. "Tell me you want that too."
"I do." I run my fingers through his messy, dark hair. "Can we start now, in your hotel room?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
Chapter 26
Violet
This is the nicest room in the nicest hotel in town. In a sleepy Montana town that equates to a motel setup with beige carpet, white walls decked with paintings of horses, and one king bed.
Ethan strips the bed to only the white cotton sheets. He double-checks the door—it's locked—then scoops me into his arms and pins me to the wall.
His breath is warm on my shoulders, my neck, my ear. "Tell me you need me."
"I do. I need you so badly, Ethan."
He plants a long kiss on my neck. Then his teeth are scraping against my skin. "I need you, but I need to watch you come first."
His voice is low and demanding. It makes me hot all over. I need to be out of this skirt and blouse. I need to be out of all my clothes.
Ethan drags his fingers up my inner thigh. My skin tingles from his touch. All that heat pools below my belly. I'm already achy and desperate.
He's far too good at this, but I'm not complaining.