Her eyes are on the bare white wall. "It's too nerve-wracking. People are going to have opinions. I know it's cable, but I'm going to be recognizable soon." She shakes her head. "Let's talk about something else."
"Are you sure?"
Her brow furrows, her forehead scrunching. She even makes stress look adorable.
"Positive." She squeezes my hand. "How was work?"
"You're telling me you want to talk about Ryan?"
She shrugs as if it's no big deal. As if she could not care less that I still work with her ex-fiancé. As if she loves nothing better than talking about Ryan. "Sure."
I move closer, until her legs are at my hips and my head is at her chest. "Fine except for part about Ryan being there."
She runs her hands through my hair. It's sweet and affectionate, like she's already released a lot of her stress. "Why don't you sell?"
Tension knots in my shoulders. "I have a dozen clients in some stage of a divorce. If I leave them, Ryan will botch their settlements."
She brings her hands to my shoulders. "Can't you sell then finish up with your clients?"
My throat constricts. "He won't accept anything other than my immediate resignation." I look at Alyssa, into her clear, blue eyes, and some of my tension eases. "This is how he gets his revenge."
"You did steal his girl."
"You wanted to be stolen."
"I wanted to be with you." She runs her hands over my suit jacket. "You were working late."
It's sincere, like she's conce
rned. But Alyssa doesn't need to worry about me. I can handle it.
"How about we don't talk about work at all?" I offer.
She nods and drags her fingertips across my cheek, stopping at my lips. "I have to ask you something."
"Anything."
She bites her lip. She's even more nervous about this than she was about the party. "It's not a big deal."
"Nothing is a big deal to you. You have no awareness of what is or isn't a big deal."
"This isn't a big deal."
"What is it?" I ask.
She sighs, squeezing my hands tighter. "I have this assignment from my therapist. To do a food challenge."
"Oh yeah?" I try to underplay my enthusiasm. This sounds like a big deal. Like a huge deal.
"Have you heard of it?" Her voice is soft, needy.
"No." I say it as softly and sweetly as I can.
"It's not a big deal." She shakes her head like even she doesn't believe that. "I eat a small portion of something that would normally be off limits. One cookie or one scoop of ice cream or something like that."
I rub my thumb against her fingers. "That sounds like a big step."
"It's easy in theory." She bites the skin of her thumb. "Well, not easy, but simple. I eat the food and I sit there and I don't binge or purge."