How could she ever forget? If only she hadn’t been so afraid of the feelings he roused in her.
If only she hadn’t run away.
She sank to the couch and knotted her hands together. She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t stand to see his eyes, so warm and filled with love. Love she wanted so much it hurt. Love she could destroy so easily.
“Of course I remember,” she whispered.
He sat beside her and clasped her hands. “I meant what I said. I’ve loved you my whole life. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’ve never stopped thinking about you.”
“That was seven years ago!” she snapped. Stay strong. She couldn’t let him in. She had to stay strong, damn it. “People change. They grow up and want different things.”
He shook his head. “Not me. I grew up, but I still want you.”
“Stop it. Just stop it.” Her heart twisted, shattering from the pressure of the stranglehold he had on it. He was killing her. Every word was destroying her resolve and making her weak. Too weak. He didn’t know a damned thing about her anymore. Not one of those pretty words applied to who she was now.
“I won’t stop.” His fingers enfolded hers, so warm, so capable, so strong. “Not until you admit you still have feelings for me, too. Just like you did then.”
She made a strangled sound and ripped her hands from his. “What makes you think I cared about you? I ran away!”
“And you cried every day for a month. Tommy told me.”
Right now, Tommy’s chances of survival were looking lower than a major metropolitan center’s in a nuclear holocaust. Erica clenched her fists. “Tommy won’t be alive much longer, so you’ll have to find another informant. Maybe a few more convenient classmates. I hope you two make your peace before I put him in the ground. Now leave.”
“I’m not leaving. How many times do I have to say that before you listen?” He caught her chin with a gentle touch and lifted her to meet his eyes. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Will never stop loving you, no matter what you do or say.”
She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the wet trail of tears on her cheeks, but she couldn’t stop them. She doubted they’d ever stop, after tonight. “You have no idea what you’re saying,” she whispered.
“Yes, I do. Do you know how I knew you were a lawyer? I tried to keep up with you. Where you were. What you were doing. Though I tried not to cross the stalker threshold.” He smiled wryly. “But I couldn’t let you go then…and I can’t let you go now.”
She shook her head frantically. Her tears blinded her. “You have to. You can’t love me. You don’t know about my scars—”
“So tell me about them!” That self-control snapped to leave him surging to his feet, gesturing sharply. “What could possibly be so bad that you’re afraid to tell me? Did you get them while murdering someone? Robbing a bank?”
“Don’t be a melodramatic ass.” She swiped jerkily at her cheeks and straightened her shoulders. He wanted to know the truth. She wanted him to leave her alone. She knew one fast and easy way to take care of both. She rose, dread settling deep in her stomach and crawling down her legs to leave them numb. “You want to see them? You want to see my scars?”
“Yes. A few marks on your skin won’t scare me away. It drives me crazy that you think it would.”
“That’s because you’re a naïve, idealistic fool.”
She untucked her shirt, her hands shaking. His eyes followed her movements. She forced down her foolish hope that he might still want her, after this. He made his promises now, but he hadn’t seen her yet.
“Two years ago,” she said, “I was driving home from work. It was late, and I was tired. I remember the pizza on the seat next to me. I remember thinking about getting home and eating. I even remember how the pepperoni smelled. The cheese, too. It was fabulous. The memory’s so strong I can smell it even now.”
The words came out in a rush. They’d been held inside for so long she couldn’t contain them anymore. She wanted him to know what had happened to her—but she clung to the hem of the shirt. Her security blanket. Maybe for too long, but she needed something to hide behind. Now more than ever.
“I didn’t even see the truck coming,” she whispered. “I still don’t remember the moment it hit. Just the lights, the horn. They didn’t even register until it was too late.”
Jeremy’s face paled. “What happened?”
“I dropped my phone. I was waiting for an important client call, and I was at a red light, so I figured I’d just grab it really quick and buckle back up. When I bent over to reach my phone, a semi lost control and T-boned my passenger-side door. My last memory is of the lights. I thought ‘Oh, good, I see my phone.’ Then…nothing.”
With a rough sound, he dragged her into his arms. His tall, powerful body trembled against hers. “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.”
She let herself rest against his chest for one heartbreaking moment, then pulled away. She couldn’t let herself be weak now. This wasn’t even the worst of it. “I’m not done.”
He reached for his dog tags again. She was making him nervous. Good. He should be.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m listening.”