“I know. But that’s what there is.”
She stands up and looks around the room, searching for clues to a murder that has yet to happen.
“If she were bleeding in the street, what would you do?” she asks.
“That’s not the same situation.”
“If she were going to kill someone else?”
“I would turn her in.”
?
??So how is this different?”
“It’s her own life. Not anyone else’s.”
“But it’s still killing.”
“If she really wants to do it, there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
Even as I say this, it feels wrong.
“Okay,” I continue, before Rhiannon can correct me. “Putting up obstacles can help. Getting other people involved can help. Getting her to the proper doctors can help.”
“Just like if she had cancer, or was bleeding in the street.”
This is what I need. It’s not enough to hear these things in my own voice. I need to hear them told to me by somebody I trust.
“So who do I tell?”
“A guidance counselor, maybe?”
I look at the clock. “School’s closed. And we only have until midnight, remember.”
“Who’s her best friend?”
I shake my head.
“Boyfriend? Girlfriend?”
“No.”
“A suicide hotline?”
“If we call one, they’d only be giving me advice, not her. We have no way of knowing if she’ll remember it tomorrow, or if it will have any effect. Believe me, I’ve thought about these options.”
“So it has to be her father. Right?”
“I think he checked out a while ago.”
“Well, you need to get him to check back in.”
She makes it sound so easy. But both of us know it’s not easy.
“What do I say?”
“You say, ‘Dad, I want to kill myself.’ Just come right out and say it.”