It had sounded sexy the night before, but it sounded a lot different when Theo was barking it at her repeatedly from across the rehearsal floor.
“I’ll come when I’m ready,” she muttered under her breath. Theo flicked his hand at her in annoyance and strutted out of the cavernous space. Going for a cigarette. Nasty habit. She’d told him several times already he needed to quit.
Not that he ever listened to her.
She dug in her bag for some Licky Stix. She missed Jason chiding her, giving her dirty looks. There was no coach here, just Theo. He was in charge of the act, and, increasingly, frighteningly in charge of her. Now, in the daytime, with the lights reflecting off the bright blue mats and the sun shining through the window, she resented his control.
She couldn’t understand why it felt so good--so hot--to submit to Theo’s perverse demands when they were alone together. It was like she fell under some spell. Her cheeks burned in humiliation each time she remembered the events of the previous night. She felt like a whore, a slut. A freak.
She pounded four sugar straws in a row. While she was eating the last one he sauntered back in, glaring at her. She glared back as the candy disintegrated on her tongue. Red, her favorite flavor. Cherry or something.
“Come on,” he ordered, pointing at the mat beside him. “Or I will come and get you and carry you here.” Something in the way he said it convinced her it would be better to go to him under her own power. She took her time though, packing her bag back up and stowing it on the side of the practice facility. On the way over to Theo, one of the Chinese contortionists knocked into her, almost bowling her over.
“Excuse me!” she snapped at him.
He gave her a withering glare and walked on, going God knew where. There were a lot of other acts practicing in other rehearsal halls. She and Theo were assigned to the big hall because their act was high and wide. Unlike most aerial silk acts, which consisted of vertical wraps and drops, they were going to be swinging around too. Flying, Theo called it.
She’d asked to see video of someone else doing it. “No one else does it,” Theo had said. “Not like this. You are with Cirque du Monde now. We don’t copy what others do.”
She walked over and tugged once or twice on the long dark red silks hanging from a massive carabiner in the ceiling.
“You think they’ll come down?” Theo asked with a laugh.
“I think if I’m going to be ‘flying’ that high, I should have a safety line.”
“No, I told you. The silk is your safety line. We’ll do only safe tricks, you’ll see. We’ll practice down here over the mats until it’s second nature, and then we’ll do it up a little higher. For the actual show, we’ll go very high. It’s more dramatic that way. But it will be safe, no tether. Unless...you want to do the trick with teeth? I hold the silk loop in my teeth? You spin around and around?”
“Oh, Jesus. No.”
“You need a safety tether for teeth trick. One cough or sneeze and zhut, that’s the end of Kelsey.”
“Not funny.”
“You wanted a safety line.” He shrugged.
“Forget the safety line,” she said through gritted teeth.
He was already moving on, climbing halfway up one of the silks, about fifteen feet in the air. Kelsey studied the other tail, running her fingers over the smooth blood-red fabric. It felt even stronger, more substantial than the practice silks. “Why are they so dark?” she asked.
“Why?” Theo wound one ankle in the fabric, at the same time he propelled himself into a lazy swing. “It’s not Cirque du Sun Shining out of your ass! It’s Cirque du Minuit. This means midnight in French. Dark, eerie, bleak.”
He swung by her, gazing down like some specter. “Foreboding,” she added under her breath.
“What?”
“Nothing. Do you want me to come up?” At Theo’s nod, Kelsey rosined her hands and started climbing the other silk. There were only a couple other acts practicing in areas nearer to the wall. Kelsey felt conspicuous and exposed out in the middle.
“No one’s watching you,” Theo said, rolling his eyes.
Kelsey scowled at him. “I didn’t say anyone was.”
“You are too self-aware. Already, the way you climb is too wooden and self-conscious. Go down and climb again. Climb like someone who is only alive, who is only truly satisfied in the caress of the silks. Forget who watches. Forget what you look like. Climb like someone who lives and breathes aerial silk.”
“Jesus Christ.” Kelsey slid down to the mat. She let out a sigh and started climbing again.
“No,” Theo said. “Now you look angry. Try once more.”
Kelsey crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared up at him. “Why don’t you show me what you’re looking for?”
“Gladly. But you already know.” Theo slid down and then climbed up again. Yes, she had known--he was talking about that effortless animal grace he possessed that she’d mentally remarked on so many times. He wanted that from her? He stared down, beckoning her.
“Come, are you going to try? It will take time, but just try.”
Kelsey lifted her chin and attempted to be as fluid and confident as Theo as she shimmied up the silk. “Sexier. Sexier!” he coached impatiently, but he didn’t make her go back down. When they were side by side about ten feet off the ground, he kissed her. Kelsey pulled away.
“Theo!”
“They are not watching.” He grinned at her. “The act will be better with chemistry. It’s a good thing, yes?”
“You smell like cigarettes,” said Kelsey, trying not to think about how chemistry was affecting her even now.
“Because I smoke.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Are you bitching at me to try to take my mind off last night?” He kissed her again, this time squeezing her ass. “Because I’ll never forget. Never. In fact, I’m getting hard again.”
“Last night was... Last night...” Kelsey stammered. “Last night was last night. This is today. We’re supposed to be working. You’re supposed to be teaching me this act.”
Theo completely tuned out her reprimand and gave her a dirty, filthy kiss. Then, as she grasped for her wits, he launched into a surprisingly organized and detailed description of the beginning of the act as he’d imagined it so far. It started with a lot of climbs, wraps, and drops. The climbs were easy, and the wraps were getting easier too. It just took the right flip of the ankle, a twist of the arm, and she’d be secured in a few loops of fabric.
Theo made her get down and then showed her a move where he flipped again and again, wrapping his arms in silk. At the top, he did an inverted split and grinned down at her, his arms outstretched. Hmm. Flexible. Then, somehow, the silk was wrapped around his legs and waist, and he reached down to her and dropped so fast she screamed.
“No screaming i
n aerial silk,” he said. “Take my hands.”
His fingers closed tightly around hers. He ran her through some trapeze-like moves just above the mat, demanding that she flip, or twist, or swing while dangling from his grip. He swung her up behind him while he was still inverted, and barked for her to wrap her arms around his waist. She ended up with her chin resting on his balls.
“This is fucking awkward,” she yelled down at him.
“Grab the silks and pull yourself up. Don’t step on me. Graceful, graceful,” he coached, like she hadn’t just had her face buried in his crotch.
There was a lot of gymnastics involved, and that at least she felt comfortable with. Flips, splits, and somersaults were muscle memory to her, whether executed on the ground or in the air. It was actually kind of thrilling doing it in the air because there was less resistance, less impact. Even the silk wrapped around her arms and legs wasn’t uncomfortable. Theo showed her how to distribute the fabric evenly so it didn’t bind. Then Theo experimented, wrapping her up in various ways, showing her where to grip the silk so she wouldn’t fall all the way to the mat when it unwound. And it did always unwind.
So many of the tricks would take precise choreographed timing between her and Theo. There was a lot of gripping, grappling, and cursing as Kelsey missed cues and directions. The morning flew by and when lunch time arrived, Kelsey realized she hadn’t even thought about people watching her in hours.
She and Theo ate together in the Cirque cafeteria. Or rather, Kelsey ate her lunch sitting across the table from him while he talked to himself in a mixture of English and French about which elements to use in the act, which moves would be most exciting to watch, and which moves Kelsey would never be able to master if she didn’t learn her ass from her elbow soon. Lovely.
While they ate, other cast members stopped by to introduce themselves and tell a little about their acts. Some of them seemed to know Theo already, perhaps from other shows. They all regarded him with subtle curiosity. No one said anything about Minya. Everyone was welcoming to Kelsey, a pleasant change from Theo’s barked orders and crass flirting.