Fat fucking chance, Kelsey thought to herself. She’d been up for hours the night before obsessing over Jason’s disturbing revelations, especially concerning Theo’s sex-capades. Well, they would have a good long time to hash things out. Theo would be stuck with her for the entire drive. She would demand answers while he couldn’t walk away or try to distract her with more sex.
The van seemed large after zooming around in compact European vehicles. Kelsey expected Theo to sit up front with the driver, but he surprised her by sliding onto the second row bench beside her. She scooted over and he just kept coming, dominating her space. She ended up sitting against the window while he sprawled his large frame across the center and right side seats. He seemed tired, but she knew he wasn’t much of a morning person. He immediately tilted his head against a headrest and by the time they got on the road, he had drifted to sleep.
So much for hashing things out. Kelsey watched him, wondering again how he’d gone from a distant idol to this all-too-real man beside her. He was far from a graceful sleeper. Well, who slept gracefully in a car? Theo’s head bobbed with the movement of the van, his lips sensual even in sleep. Then he’d jerk and she’d expect him to come awake, but he’d settle into sleep again. The driver ignored her, singing along from time to time with the radio.
Finally, after a couple hours, Theo stirred and looked out the window. “I need a cigarette.”
“You need to quit,” Kelsey said. “Cigarettes are nasty.”
“Nasty and wonderful.” He leered at her. “Like you.”
Kelsey figured there was only one thing to do, and that was to dive right into the discussion.
“Jason came to talk to me last night.”
“I’m going to jump out of the car,” Theo murmured.
“You lied to me about Minya being your only sex partner. At least according to him. In fact, he told me a lot of really interesting facts about you.”
“Pardon me,” Theo interrupted, “but Jason doesn’t know me and I don’t know him. So I would take his ‘facts’ with a grain of sand.”
“Salt.”
“Huh?”
“The expression is to take things with a ‘grain of salt.’”
Theo rolled his eyes and slouched lower in his seat. His leg made a triangle, resting on his knee. He stroked his sculpted, hairy calf. “Here is what I have to say to you, Kelsey. In most things, Jason doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Don’t be so trusting.”
“Yeah, I’m learning that. How many women were you with besides Minya? Were you with men too?”
Theo barely reacted to her anger. “I had unprotected sex only with Minya. Other women, I used condoms. This is what I thought you meant.”
“You know that wasn’t what I meant!”
“But the outcome is the same. I keep my body clean. I have no diseases. I know this because I am tested regularly. And my partners have been limited, despite what Jason believes. Cirque is a closed world.”
“You only sleep with Cirque people?”
“Does that make it better in your eyes?” he asked, sounding completely unconcerned about her answer. “I sleep with Cirque people because they...they understand. You will be the same when you’ve been here a few years.”
“After I go to the Citadel, right?”
The edge of Theo’s lips turned up. “Ah, Jason told you about le Citadel, did he? Good. Saves me the trouble.”
“Were you planning to take me?”
He gave her a demon smile. “You want to go.”
Kelsey hated his smugness, his attitude, but he was right. She wanted to hear that he’d considered her a candidate for inclusion into this secret world. That she was as good, as sexy as everyone else. Even in this, she wanted to excel.
“Fine,” she admitted. “It’s possible I want to go. But I’m not going to feel safe about any of this if you’re going to tell me lies--”
His sharp bark of laughter cut off her words. “Safe? You want to feel safe? You are in the wrong business, sweetheart. There is nothing here worth having that does not come with risk.”
Kelsey didn’t know if he was talking about the circus or about them when he said “here.” For Kelsey, “here” was the two of them, his strong legs and solid form beside her. “Here” was the irrepressible urge to touch him, to have him look on her, whether it was with approval or contempt.
Kelsey lowered her voice. “How often do you go there? To the Citadel?”
Theo followed her glance to the driver in the rearview mirror. “No need to whisper. He goes. All Cirque people go eventually. And le Citadel is such that nearly all will continue to go.”
Kelsey regarded the gruff, muscular driver. “Does he play on the dominant or submissive side?”
Again the wicked smile. “He is a switch.” Theo leaned over, turning so he was in front of her, facing her. “I’ll take you au Citadel, little girl. Don’t fear. They will love you there. You are delicious in ways you can’t even fathom. Yet.”
She sucked in a breath as Theo’s warm hand insinuated itself beneath the waistband of her pants. Instinctively, she grasped his wrist, shooting a panicked look at the driver. “He can see us in the rearview mirror.”
“Maybe so, chickadee. This is not safe, eh?”
Kelsey shook her head as Theo slid his fingers deeper, into the furrow between her legs. His thumb pressed her clit while his fingers discovered her wetness. She was so aroused, from nothing more than his nearness and his voice. She wanted to arch into his hand, but the driver-- “N--no, Theo. Not now.”
His hands never stopped their sweet torture while he kissed her lips. “Shhh...” he said in a sibilant whisper. “Let’s not be safe. It’s more fun to not be safe, no?”
“Theo...” No...no, it’s not more fun to not be safe...right? Too many no’s, too many not’s all wrapped up in her thoughts, while her body was saying only one thing, over and over--yes, yes, yes. She’d lived by the “responsible and safe” mantra all her life, but that didn’t seem so important now, with her pussy throbbing and his fingers slipping over and around her clit. His other hand clutched her thigh, holding her still, not letting her pull away or escape his intimate transgressions.
“Theo--” She tried one last time, finding it increasingly hard to form words. “We’re on a road. An interstate. Someone will see. The driver--”
“Don’t be safe,” he chided, just before he forced her mouth open with his lips, his tongue. He demanded her submission, not only with his fingers, but his kiss. She put her hands on his chest to push him away but only found herself pulling him closer. She traced the taut tendons of his neck, the softness of his ebony hair. He wasn’t going to stop. He was going to make her come right there in the van with the driver up in front. Kelsey’s gaze locked on the rearview mirror.
“Close your eyes,” Theo whispered.
I can’t. I can’t.
“Forget about him.” His voice was like silk, like white billowing fabric wrapping around her and obscuring her vision, her thoughts. His fingers were driving her mad, gently touching, stroking in just the right spots. She tried not to think about how he’d gotten so good at knowing exactly how to touch in order to make her thighs clench and her pussy throb with need. She leaned forward, resting her head on his chest, and he supported her, still teasing...stroking...
“Oh, God...” She opened her lips against his skin, feeling the pulse of his heart in the same rhythm as his fingers, driving, penetrating her. Billowing pleasure.
He hit a spot, her spot, and she grabbed his arm with a gasp. He took the peaking pleasure in her center and drew it out, fanned it with his fingertips into an impulse so great she couldn’t stop it anymore. She gripped his arm tighter and tighter, feeling rough hair and the curve of his bicep. His fingers dipped into her sheath as she ground against his palm.
Forget the driver. Forget the motorists outside. Her orgasm released and rolled over her body so hard she felt it in her breasts, her quivering shoulders, her throat a
s she gasped for air. Her pussy clamped down on his fingers, undulating in the aftermath, milking the furtive climax until the very end. She went limp against the bench seat, then risked a glance at Theo’s eyes.
They were smoldering with lust, and something more. Some challenge or daring that continued to compel her.
“See...” He held his fingers just below her nose, tracing her scent across her lips, then licked them off with a satisfied hum. “Delicious.”
The driver drove on, oblivious, or at least pretending not to notice. Help me, Kelsey thought.