He means talk to me about him being a dom. My fear ratchets up again. Maybe he’s a considerate dom or daddy or whatever, but it’s still about taking someone’s mind and soul prisoner and crushing them until they think they’re no better than dirt.
“No, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry for bothering you at work.”
I walk away, and it feels like my heart’s being ripped out. Tears slip down my face, but I wipe them away quickly because it’s ridiculous crying over a man you don’t even know.
***
I spend the next few days feeling raw and emotional, and walking the long way around to work so I can avoid Dom Fitness and Trey. All the horrible memories of Piers have come flooding back, and I can hear his sneering voice rattling in my ears. You’re eating? I told you that you have to lose two pounds by the end of the week or you’re getting caned. I’m doing this for you. Say thank you, sir. I SAID, say thank you, sir.
I don’t understand how I ended up in such a nightmare. I was always such a strong and happy person, but Piers manage to suck away all my happiness in the year we were together.
By Wednesday, I’m tired of being that scared, needy person that Piers turned me into. I’ve reclaimed so much of myself in the past six months and I’m strong enough to walk past Trey without falling apart.
I grab my shopping bags, head out the door and start walking down the street. When I’m two doors down from the gym, I take a deep breath and look toward Dom Fitness.
There’s a man there handing out flyers, but it’s not Trey. His tank top reads JOSHUA, and a throb of despair goes through me.
Joshua sees me staring at him and comes over, probably thinking I’m interested in signing up. By the time he reaches me, his smile falters, because now there are tears pouring down my face.
“Hey, are you all right?” Joshua asks, leaning down so he can look into my eyes. All the Dom Fitness guys are enormous.
“Trey’s usually out here. I thought I’d see Trey. Where’s Trey?” Suddenly, my despair is overwhelming. What if I never see him again? “I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.”
Joshua just looks sympathetic. “It’s all right. We’re used to a few tears at Dom Fitness now and then. Would you like me to take you to Trey? He’s inside.”
I look up, sniffling. “He is?”
“Come on.” Joshua lays a gentle hand on my arm and steers me inside. At the front desk, he lifts the phone and places a call.
I stand miserably in the middle of reception, wiping my face and wishing that Trey were there.
A moment later he swipes through the barriers. He strides toward me, moving like panther, but in such a friendly way that if he were a panther I’d expect a fuzzy headbutt and a big purr. When he’s standing right in front of me, he says in his soft, deep voice, “Hey, Livia.”
Just like that, my knees are made of rubber and his name is written on the walls of my heart.
Trey notices the tears drying on my cheeks and his smile melts into concern. “Livia, are you okay? What’s happened?”
“No. Yes. I’m here because…” I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to know what you’re all about, because you seem so lovely and so unlike my ex and yet you’re a dom, too. I’m scared and confused and I think I like you. “Um, I want to know what Dom Fitness is about.”
“Oh. Sure.”
Is it my imagination, or does he seem disappointed? If he is, he covers it up with a smile.
“Let’s sit over here and I can tell you what we do.”
Trey gets a clipboard from Joshua and we sit together at one of the tables in the juice bar. I like the décor in here. It’s not aggressive or hypermasculine like I was expecting, but modern with clean lines.
The juice bar attendant brings us water, and I take a grateful sip and wrap my hands around the glass. I can’t believe I’m being such an emotional mess in public.
Trey gazes at me, his brow wrinkled in concern. “Has someone upset you?”
“Rough week,” I mumble. “I thought some exercise would do me good.” Some Trey would do me good. I wish everything wasn’t so complicated.
“Sure. Let’s see if we can figure out a way to help you. So, as you’re aware, we’re a little different to a normal gym. Every trainer here is a dominant of some variety, and we’re here to motivate you and help you achieve your goals.”
He’s brisk and business-like as he talks, and it’s calming, but I can’t help but miss that other Trey, the one who put his arms around me at the club and looked at me like I was an ice cube he was dying to lick on a hot day.