Not that he wanted to be away from Alric.
Shit, maybe that was the problem. With every day that passed, Cameron spent more and more time with the dragon. It had to be obvious that he was falling for Alric and falling fast. No wonder people assumed. They didn’t seem to realize just how much that assumption alarmed Cameron. It wasn’t that he didn’t want it—he just had no idea if he was ready for it. Choosing Alric meant turning his life completely upside down, and that was a rather hefty decision to make.
Gunter’s words had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or in this case, Cameron’s last nerve. Because if even Gunter, who was admittedly very out of touch with castle gossip, had picked up on it? Then Cameron might be screwed.
As the feet turned into yards with the looming threat of becoming miles between them, Cameron felt his skin growing too tight and itchy. A part of him already wanted to turn around and find Alric. He was like a freaking drug addict going too long without his next fix.
This was stupid.
He didn’t need someone like he needed air. This wasn’t his first relationship. No, there hadn’t been a lot of others in his past. Okay, maybe only three and they hadn’t lasted long, but dating had never been like this.
With his other boyfriends, his day didn’t automatically get better when he saw their smile. He didn’t endlessly think about them and wonder what they were doing. He didn’t worry about whether they were taking too much on and needed a distraction. He didn’t plot ways to “randomly” run into his boyfriend.
Oh my god! Was he a stalker or a boyfriend?
“Cameron, take a deep breath.”
Dieter’s calm voice pierced the spiraling thoughts, and Cameron could now hear the ragged panting was actually coming from him.
A high-pitched laugh escaped him, and he shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m good, I’m just freaking myself out a little.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just realized I’ve literally never acted like this with a previous boyfriend. That I’m making life altering decisions for Alric without a second thought when I really should be thinking about it. Oh, and I would never have upended my entire life for any other guy I’ve dated. And it’s kind of alarming, to be honest.” He frowned as the thought hit that maybe he shouldn’t be confessing all of this to Dieter. And wait, now that he thought about it…. “Why are you driving me, anyway?”
Cameron looked over and there was no telltale smile or anything to give away that Dieter knew exactly what he was talking about. The old dragon had a very good poker face.
“You’re the king’s advisor and things are getting a little crazy with the Jaeggi. I’m sure there are more important things for you to do right now, and there are plenty of guards available to run to town with me. I’ve got Warin in the car behind me, in fact, which begs the question of why we’re in separate cars. With you driving. This seems a little below your pay grade. Did Alric or Lisette send you to keep an eye on me?”
“Do you really think there’s anything more important than the safety and well-being of the king’s mate?”
“Oh god,” Cameron muttered, sinking lower into his seat. His heart skipped, tripping over itself to find an exit from his chest. “You think I am?”
Dieter’s laugh was louder this time, and his smile lingered. It made him look younger in a way, his eyes brighter and the lines in his face shifting from worry to joy. “I suspected the first day when Alric returned to the castle after meeting you. He didn’t talk about a mage who would help our people. He talked about the man with hair that kept falling into his large brown eyes, who had the sparkling sense of humor and brilliant mind. When Alric talks about you, I see a glimpse of the young, happy man I knew prior to the war.”
Cameron was pretty comfortable with the idea that he was a mage and he could perform magic. He was finding himself, his true self, for the first time ever. Which involved moving to another country, learning another language and culture, and the whole shebang. All of that was huge enough on its own, but did Cameron stop there? No, he had to date someone on top of it all. And not just any man. No, his boyfriend-possibly-mate was KING of the FREAKING DRAGONS.
“But to answer your earlier question, they both sent me. Since it’s my job to help Alric think clearly and use reason when things feel overwhelming, they thought I might be able to do the same for you.”
“It’s too much,” Cameron complained on a sigh. He turned his gaze out his window, watching the rolling green countryside unfold just past the car as they drove down out of the mountains and into the valley that held Sonthofen. The air warmed a bit as they left the mountain and went into the valley. Enough that Dieter adjusted the car’s temperature.