“Hmm, as I thought.” Lisette nodded in satisfaction before joining him in the twin chair nearby. “The conduit between you isn’t strong enough to tie you like a bond. It’s more that he left some of his power with you.”
“So more like a battery than a live wire.”
“That’s a good way to put it.” She cocked her head at him. “You don’t seem relieved.”
Cameron wasn’t sure what he was. His emotions still careened through him like one of those rubber ping pong balls. A supersonic one, to boot.
Alric trusted him this much? Cared for him this much? This wasn’t a conscious decision on their part—it was born of want and desire. Of trust and need. Had Alric subconsciously made the decision to give Cameron everything, and Cameron’s magic had picked up on this ready supply of magical power suddenly available?
And if Alric was doing that, giving Cameron something of his life force so freely, then—
Then Alric was likely falling for him hard and fast. The realization was both breathtaking and alarming. Having Alric’s heart would be a priceless gift. Cameron was in no way sure he was ready to accept it. His mind kept skittering off, trying to avoid thinking about it properly, and Cameron had to force it back on track.
No. The time had come to really think about this instead of going with the flow. Cameron wasn’t going to risk breaking Alric’s heart because he’d failed to really consider what it all meant. What they meant to each other.
“Cameron?” Lisette called to him, low and gentle.
He wet dry lips. “Alric is amazing, Lisette. The epitome of the kind of man I always wanted in my life. He’s the most giving, selfless, beautiful person I’ve ever known. If it was just a matter of falling in love with him, I’d do it in a heartbeat and without a second thought. But…it’s not just him.”
“No,” she agreed, her eyes soft with understanding. “No, and you’re wise to consider that properly. This clan is very much part of Alric’s heart. You can’t love one without the other. You can’t consider one without the other. Does the clan give you pause?”
“You guys are awesome.” Cameron shook his head, struggling to put this burning feeling in his chest into words. “Seriously, I love all of you. I’m still getting to know a lot of you, but every single person has welcomed me. I’ve never felt more welcome or at home anywhere before in my life. It’s why I asked to formally be invited into the clan. But being part of you and being a leader over you is entirely different. I’m the youngest member of this clan by centuries. How the hell am I supposed to be wiser? Why would anyone trust me with that responsibility?”
Lisette sat back and thought for a moment. “Do you know that Alric was considered barely more than a teenager when he was handed the throne?”
Cameron blinked at her. “No, really?”
“He was a little childish most of his life. Not focused, always flitting from one thing to another. His father despaired of him most days. It wasn’t until the war started that Alric focused. We were all surprised by it, how responsible he seemed to become overnight. He was with his parents every step of the way in leading the clan—and then he was alone, still leading us as best he could. He stumbled often in those early days. He depended heavily on Dieter to give him wise counsel.”
Seeing what he had of Alric and Dieter’s interactions, Cameron didn’t think that had changed much.
She turned and regarded him thoughtfully. “I’m glad you’re seriously thinking about this. That you realize your own position in all of this with us, and not just with Alric. But I want to assure you, too. When we come to you with some issue at hand, it’s not because we necessarily need your wisdom. We need you to listen. We need you to hear us, to realize the problem, and to help us find a solution. Leadership, young man, has absolutely nothing to do with always knowing the answers. Think back on how Alric has responded. Has he ever just snapped out an order?”
Cameron had his mouth open to respond but then he closed it. No, come to think of it, Alric rarely gave an order on the spot. He normally conferred with someone, made sure he had the facts straight, before issuing a command. Cameron had often thought him one of the best leaders he’d seen because Alric was such a good listener for his people.
“No, I’ve never seen him do that.”
“It’s why he’s a good king, yes? He makes a good example for you to follow.”
“Would I be actively leading the clan, like he is? I really don’t know what all is part of the job. Of being consort, I mean.”