Fox shook his head. “Winter, it’s not just that. You don’t ever put you first. I know your family is important, and there are going to be a lot of times where they have to come first. That’s fine. I like them too. I want to help protect them. But I don’t want you to ever look back at our time together and not see it as important too. You need to value what you want. Do you even know what you want? What makes you happy?”
That didn’t even require thought.
“You.” He said simply and without hesitation as he held Fox’s gaze. “Even if you never cast a single spell. Even if you lose your ability to block out the ghosts, I just want you. I want to wake up to your smiling face. I want to watch you eat and hear the crazy thoughts crossing your mind. I want to smell you on my sheets and on my clothes. And I want to hold you when you’re hurting, or when I’m hurting, because I know if I can wrap my arms around you, the pain will go away and we can figure out the next step together.”
Fox looked away from him, wiping one eye with the heel of his palm. “Bastard,” he muttered, but there was a whisper of a smile on his lips as he said it.
Winter slowly reached across and lightly grazed Fox’s arm with the tips of his fingers, just barely touching him. “I’m sorry I made you feel unimportant. You’re not a distraction. You are important to me. Our time together is valuable. As you know, I’ve never done this dating thing, and I’m still figuring it out. It’s not an excuse, just a fact. I would very much like it if we could keep trying.”
Reaching across, Fox threaded his fingers with Winter’s and squeezed. “I would too.”
Winter released a heavy sigh of relief and lifted Fox’s hand to his lips, brushing a kiss across each finger. Fox leaned into him and pressed their foreheads together. Some of the tension that had balled up in his chest released, and it was like he could breathe again.
“There’s one more thing,” Fox said. “We have to talk about the difficult things.”
“I take it all back,” Winter replied, but it was done with a smirk.
“I’m being serious.” Fox’s tone sharpened and he narrowed his eyes on Winter as he lifted his head. “I mean it for both of us. I feel like there’s a lot we need to talk about. Heavy stuff we’ve been avoiding.”
There was no question in Winter’s mind what Fox was talking about. Or rather who. Julianna Varik. Winter hadn’t so much refused to talk about her, but he did redirect the conversation every time she came up. Apparently he hadn’t been as deft in his maneuvering as he’d hoped.
But then, Winter had a few questions for Fox as well. He’d been avoiding them simply because Fox seemed to be uncomfortable with the topic.
Still holding on to Fox’s hand, he pressed another kiss to it before making his offer. “How about this? You meet me in my bed in ten minutes while I get a shower. We’ll get comfortable so you can tell me about what happened with this witch, Cheryl Watkins…” Winter paused and took a deep breath. “And I’ll tell you about Julianna Varik.”
The first hint of a true smile started to bloom on Fox’s face as he nodded. “I like that plan, but only if you’re ready.”
“I’ve had more than one hundred and seventy-seven years to think about it, and there’s no one I trust more with my heart.”
“Motherfucker,” Fox muttered under his breath as he briefly stood and climbed right into Winter’s lap. The kiss was brief, but it was the nearly bone-crushing hug that brought tears to Winter’s eyes. This man was so quickly becoming his everything. He deserved to be first in Winter’s life in all things, he deserved to always know that he was treasured and important at all times. And Winter was determined to show him every chance he got.
Fox slowly released him and got back to his feet, allowing Winter to rise. They separated reluctantly. Winter crossed to his own bedroom and peeled out of his clothes, breathing a small sigh of relief when he pulled off Fox’s briefs. It might have been sexy and fun, but his man’s shorts were just a shade to tight to be comfortable. As he quickly washed under the hot water, he tried to ignore the flock of butterflies that had started fluttering around his stomach at the thought of talking about his mother. Nothing about it was going to be a pleasant conversation.
There was no worry that Fox would look at him or his family differently. It was that Julianna Varik came with a hell of a lot of baggage.