Unfortunately, Winter didn’t want to do his job anymore. He didn’t want to spend his nights covered in the blood of the clan’s enemies. He didn’t want to constantly risk his life for a new secret. He wanted Fox. He wanted to laugh and make Fox happy. He wanted to find a way for Fox to be trained in magic, because it was important to him and his sense of identity. He wanted to spend more time figuring out why he had this ghostly power in the first place and why Fox affected him as he did.
There had to be more for life. At least, he wanted more for his life.
But that might not be possible as a vampire. His brothers had found love, and he envied them for it. Marcus had found Ethan. Rafe had his Philippe. Even awkward and absent-minded Bel had his wolves. Was he trying to force Fox into a slot where he didn’t actually fit? Or maybe Winter wasn’t meant to have someone. He was just meant to kill.
No, he didn’t believe that. Fox saw him, saw the things he did, and believed he was more than that. They had more than a stupid prophecy and Fox’s gift binding them together. He knew in his heart that Fox was his, and he would find a way to make this work.
Winter shoved to his feet and went to double-check the security system and the locks on the door before climbing the stairs in search of Fox. He found the witch sitting on the edge of his bed with a towel dangling from both hands. His gaze seemed a million miles away at that moment, and Winter hesitated to bother him, but his grim expression left Winter sure he was not thinking happy thoughts.
“I’m wondering if we moved too fast,” Fox murmured, proving that he was aware of Winter standing in the open doorway.
Winter’s heart gave a painful skip in his chest, and he hesitated a second before stepping into the room. “What do you mean?”
Fox shrugged a shoulder. “The dating, sex, and moving in thing. We’ve been lost in our own world for a few really good days now. Yeah, we’ve had to deal with some problems here and there, but other than that, it’s just been us. We’ve been blissfully unaware of the rest of the world and any problems.”
“We’ve had our arguments.”
Fox made a slightly dismissive noise, as if he wasn’t completely convinced. “We’ve talked so much, and yet I’m not sure I really know you.”
Winter entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to Fox. He was dressed in only a pair of sleep pants. The smell of coconut body wash drifted from him, and Winter longed to press his face into the warmth of his skin so he could breathe him in.
“And then there’s your relationship with your family.”
Winter’s head snapped up, and he immediately bristled. “What do you mean?”
Fox sighed, and Winter couldn’t help cringing. He’d immediately gone on the defensive, and that wasn’t fair to Fox.
“I’m sorry. Please. I’m listening.”
“I know they’re important to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s wonderful, in fact. I wish I had that. But…if we’re going to be in a relationship, I don’t want to always come in last. It’s…it’s not fair to me.”
Leaning forward with his arms on his knees, Winter turned his head, trying to see Fox’s face a little better. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s your job to protect your family, but it doesn’t make sense that it’s your job alone. You have older brothers. They have to take some responsibility too. The moment something went wrong, you took immediate responsibility for it. It was your fault that you didn’t work harder or see it coming. You didn’t prepare enough.” Fox paused and licked his lips before he turned his head to meet Winter’s gaze with a pained but determined look of his own. “You thought if you hadn’t been distracted with me, you could have saved Rafe’s club. Or maybe if you hadn’t been distracted with me, you could have taken care of Damon by now.”
Winter froze. He had thought those things. He’d been angry at himself and hurting for his brother. And he’d thought them.
Hearing those words out of Fox’s mouth made him realize how wrong it was.
“I don’t want to be your distraction. I don’t want to be something you slip into your life when you don’t have to worry about protecting your family or dealing with other vampires. If we’re going to date, I deserve to be a priority.”
“You’re right.”
Fox blinked at him, his lips parting in surprise. “Seriously?”
Winter wanted to smile at him, but he was still hurting too much to get his lips to move in that direction. “You are. I’m too accustomed to always putting my family first. I say that you’re important to me, but I need to treat you as such. I haven’t been fair to you, and I’m so very sorry.”