“And?”
Ethan shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Bel. He said it’s a total loss.”
“That’s what we figured. It’s okay. It was just stuff. We will rebuild. The important thing is that Wyatt and River are now safe.”
“And you.” Ethan reached across the desk and placed his hand over Bel’s wrist. “You know that you’re all welcome to stay here as long as you want. We’re happy to have you.”
“It’s not getting too crowded?”
Ethan laughed and tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Not as much as you would expect. Jullien is now living with Lola. Ryder and Gideon are here most days, but if there’s some big party or event at Blush, they stay over at Lola’s since it’s closer to the club.”
Bel grunted and turned his gaze back to the computer screen. That explained where the rest of the clan had been when they arrived at Marcus’s home. Ryder, Gideon, and Lola were all new additions to the Variks through Rafe. The trio had been Rafe’s close friends and trusted allies for years before they were finally brought into the fold. Jullien had followed Philippe into the Varik clan after the destruction of the Arsenault clan.
Ethan glanced at the pieces of paper where Bel had written some notes. He frowned at the scratches. “What’s this? A new experiment?”
“Something old. I can’t remember all of it, and I thought I might have some notes saved that will help jog my memory.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. His old notes were supposed to be destroyed, but there could still be copies out there. Backup copies that hadn’t been wiped from the computer yet.
“Bel…what is this?” Ethan asked very carefully, but something in his tone made Bel think the man had already guessed. He knew his brothers would find out eventually, but he was hoping that he could at least make a test batch first and then deal with their negative comments.
“It’s the only way, Ethan,” Bel said in a hard voice.
“It’s not. You gave your word to the Ministry that you’d delete all records and would never make it again.”
“And the Ministry gave its word to protect us. They broke their promise first. I don’t see why I should have to keep mine.”
“Because the Variks have more honor than that,” Ethan said coldly. He leaned over the edge of the desk. “That argument is beneath you, Bel, and you know it.”
Bel dropped his hands to the edge of the desk, holding it so tightly, his knuckles were turning white. He kept his eyes down on the desktop and the notes. The formula would save them. “You don’t understand, Ethan. I came so close to losing River today. I-I don’t think I’m going to get a second chance if he almost dies again. I have to make sure that no one touches Wyatt or River. Or the rest of my family.” His head jumped up and he leaned close to the young man. “They’re going to keep coming. How do we know they’re not going to come here? What if they kill you and Marcus? What if they find Rafe and Philippe? This war is going to spread to encompass all of the Variks…and I can’t allow that. My formula worked on the vampires and I can make it work on werewolves.”
“You’ll do anything to keep us all safe.”
“Yes.” It took an extra second for the deep sadness in Ethan’s voice to register, and his heart skipped. The fresh-faced youth was suddenly gone, and Ethan looked older than all of the Variks.
“I do know firsthand what it’s like to lose all the people you love. I know what it’s like to go to extreme measures to protect people from a threat, to get revenge—and don’t deny that you aren’t looking for a little of that too. It’s natural. They hurt your River, so now you want to hurt them back. Hurt them more.” Ethan paused and shook his head, his eyes falling to the shiny surface of the desk. “I’m begging you, Bel, don’t do it. If you live through it, you will regret it for a long time. I don’t regret becoming a vampire to spend my life with Marcus. I love him. But this long life means that I have a very long time to live with my bad decisions and regrets.”
Now Bel reached for Ethan, wishing he could take away some of the pain. “Ethan, don’t. What happened with Minerva and that bastard from the Humans Protecting Humans League was not your fault. They would have found a way to attack us without you.”
“But they did it with me. I might have tried to protect you by lying to them, but if I’d spoken up sooner, worried less about losing Marcus and more about your safety…everything could have been different.”