“My brothers and I have watched over her. We can usually stop her before any of us get severely hurt, but last night was a particularly bad episode. It came on fast, too fast for Bel to reach out for help.”
“Has she…has she ever hurt anyone outside of your family?” Ethan’s soft voice wavered, sending a slice of pain through Marcus’s heart.
“No. Never. One of us is always with her. She’s done some property damage, but never harmed anyone outside of the family.” Marcus inwardly winced at the partial lie. Ethan would have meant humans. She’d never been allowed to kill a human, but Marcus couldn’t say the same for his own kind.
Marcus watched Ethan carefully. The young man chewed on his bottom lip, staring at the ground, as if he were battling some very uncomfortable thoughts. Marcus felt bad for putting this burden of knowledge on his shoulders. Ethan had his own life to live, his own difficulties. He didn’t need to worry himself with Marcus’s problems.
“Ethan…I’m sorry I bothered you with this—”
Ethan’s head quickly snapped up. “No! I’m glad you told me, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I can’t imagine the pain this has caused you and your brothers over the years.”
Marcus gave Ethan a sad smile. “She’s still our mother. We love her. Most of the time, she’s laughter and gentleness. We never question that she loves us completely.”
“But to have to deal with this other side…”
Marcus could only shrug.
Ethan stunned him by quickly closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around Marcus’s waist. He hugged him tightly, head resting on his chest. Marcus’s heart skipped a beat, some of the ache inside him subsiding. His smile became a little less sad as he hugged Ethan back.
“Thank you.”
“Have…have you ever thought about getting her some professional help?” Ethan asked, his voice muffled against Marcus’s chest. “They might be able to help her more than you and your brothers have been able to. At least, so that you’re all safer.”
Marcus sighed. Ethan was talking about a psychiatrist and drugs. Unfortunately, human drugs had no effect on vampires and there were no institutes for insane vampires anywhere in the world. They were completely on their own.
“Yes, and unfortunately that is not an option for Julianna,” Marcus said gently as he stepped out of Ethan’s embrace. “She is the responsibility of the family.”
Ethan frowned and Marcus couldn’t blame him. It was an imperfect answer to a difficult problem, but there was no other option.
After a moment, Ethan nodded. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me. I’m happy to help you and your family.”
Marcus managed a small smile before turning toward the door. “I should leave you so you can get your work done.”
“Marcus!” Ethan called, stopping him before he could get more than a few feet away. Marcus looked back to find a faint blush brightening his cheeks. “I…are you okay…with what happened between us last night?”
Dammit.
His hopes of avoiding what happened in his bedroom evaporated and the usual nervous awkwardness he so often felt around Ethan reappeared. What was he supposed to say? That he’d enjoyed the kiss and had wanted so much more, but there was still a little nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him that it was all wrong because Ethan was a man? That there could be no more kisses because he was a vampire?
“I guess I’m just worried that you weren’t comfortable with it. Or that maybe I forced you to do more than you wanted. I’m sorry—”
“No!” Marcus crossed the room toward Ethan. He cupped his hands on Ethan’s cheeks, tilting his head up so that he could look into his worried blue eyes. “I loved every second of last night, right up until you left me alone.”
“Oh,” Ethan whispered.
“But I grew up in a place where such things between men weren’t allowed. That upbringing still rings in my head. I need more time to adjust. To think about this.”
“Okay. I get it,” Ethan said quickly with a couple of nods. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.”
Marcus was dying to explain all the confusing thoughts flying through his head. He wanted to tell Ethan that he wanted to kiss him and keep kissing him, but kissing Ethan was really the stupidest thing he could possibly do. That way just led to pain.
Ethan had a chance at a good, normal life when his time with Marcus was up. He could return to Glenpark with money in his bank account. He could finish school, get a good job, and find someone who could offer him a safe and happy life.
Marcus might be able to provide financial security for Ethan, but that was about it. A life with Marcus promised only blood, violence, and pain. Ethan deserved better.