“It wasn’t her.”
“No, but it still happened, and we have to live with the memory. The fear of it happening all over again. Of not being able to stop her in time.”
“It’s over.” Releasing Marcus’s hand, Ethan twisted on the bench to face Marcus. He reached up and cupped Marcus’s cheeks with both hands. “You and Bel and Rafe and Winter, you succeeded. You protected her and each other. You and your brothers are the most amazing people I’ve ever met. You’re loyal and brave and so fucking loving. Even after everything you went through with your mom, you still loved her. After all your fights and frustrations, you still love your brothers and they love you. You guys are there for each other in a heartbeat.”
Marcus closed his eyes and nodded. “I feel guilty, because there is a part of me that’s also relieved. She tried not to show it, but I think she was unhappy. I think she missed Aiden without truly realizing he was missing. I think she knew she was hurting us but wasn’t sure how. I’m just glad she’s not in pain anymore.”
Ethan released Marcus’s face and wrapped his arms around his lover’s neck, pulling him in for a tight hug. Marcus held him back, lowering his face to his shoulder. Silent tears fell on Ethan’s bare skin. It was the first time Marcus had really spoken about his mother since her death. Ethan understood the mixed feelings that came with losing family suddenly and violently. For years, the only things he’d been able to feel were anger and hatred. It had probably been what kept him from finding a new home with a foster family.
“I love you, Marcus. So very much,” Ethan murmured.
Marcus’s arms tightened, and Ethan wished they weren’t sitting on a piano bench, but in bed so he could snuggle that much closer. He wanted to be sure that Marcus always felt loved and cherished. The weight of his strange family weighed heavily on his shoulders. He’d protected his brothers and mother for so long, but who did he have to lean on? Ethan wanted Marcus to know he’d never have to carry that weight alone again.
“I love you, Ethan.”
Releasing him slowly, Ethan pressed a tender kiss to Marcus’s lips and then leaned back, putting his elbow on the top of the piano. “Is that what’s been on your mind? Keeping you from playing?”
He wasn’t really surprised when Marcus shook his head, his eyes dropping to the keys. “No.”
“Is it the fallout from Minerva and the Ministry?”
“In part.” Marcus licked his lips, still not looking up at Ethan.
“You haven’t changed your mind about the Ministry, have you? You said they were corrupt, and that change was needed to protect people.”
“No, I still believe that.” He looked up and touched Ethan’s cheek. “My worry is that things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. The idea that I could sit on the Ministry along with other members of my family is a silly fantasy. If I’m going to upset things and remove other vampires, how is anyone ever going to trust me? What makes me different than the bastards sitting on the Ministry now?” He paused again and looked at Ethan, fear clear in his blue eyes. It finally hit Ethan what Marcus’s final consuming concern was. Him.
“You’re worried about the violence. People trying to stop you.”
“More importantly, I’m worried about you being in the path of danger.”
“Are you worried about your brothers?”
“Yes, of course!”
“But?”
“They’re vampires,” Marcus admitted softly. His lips thinned as he pressed them together and he stared at Ethan for a second. It was like he was trying to steel himself for the hard truth he wanted to deliver. Ethan smiled at his adorableness. He was making this so much more difficult than it needed to be.
“Ethan,” Marcus started again, his voice stern. “You’re human. In comparison to vampires, you’re weaker and your body frailer. Without Bel’s poison, which is a completely different problem for us, you would never have been able to reach me. You and Bel would have been overwhelmed. There will be other attacks. You could be grabbed during the day while running an errand. I’m not the only one with a human assistant. No matter how hard I try, I can’t promise to keep you safe.”
“No one is asking that you do.”
“But I need you safe!” he snapped in desperation. He exhaled and closed his eyes. “I need you safe. I can’t lose you.”
“Well, you realize there is one very easy solution to this problem.”
Marcus frowned at him, his face darkening like a thundercloud. “Don’t make light of this. There is no—”
“Change me.”
Marcus’s mouth hung open for a second. When he finally managed to speak, his voice was barely above a whisper. “What?”