My heart hammered against my chest as I realized the gravity of what he’d just said as if I’d been the prodigal and was now finally home.
And as that warmth spread through my chest, down my arms, to the hand that was touching Annie—I realized.
I hadn’t been home in a fucking long time.
Not like this.
No, it had been over a year since I felt this contentment.
The hurt was still there.
The pain.
The burning question of why?
But the rage was more of a slow fire than a furnace I wanted to jump into, and while my friends and family were always there to help…
I had one girl in particular who deserved more than the hatred I’d spewed her way.
And I had every fucking intention of making sure she knew it.
“Speaking of scary smiles,” Junior said under his breath. “The one you’re sporting right now looks absolutely terrifying—whose death are you imagining?”
I shrugged. “I guess it’s sort of like death then getting reborn, depends on how you look at it—and how you…” I looked down at my hand on her thigh. “…execute.”
Annie was busy talking to Kartini.
But Junior followed my gaze and smirked. “She’s either going to kill you or kill you. I find myself looking forward to dessert more and more.”
I shot him a cocky grin. “Me too, me too.”
The rest of dinner was a blur of eating, chaos, violence, and the random gun draw between Phoenix and Andrei, which ended with a very intense draw over the stuffing that had everyone holding their breath, mainly because any sort of body part in the food was frowned upon.
I let myself hope as all of the older cousins made their way to the theater room where we usually hung out. Sparring was completely out of the question since everyone was undergoing a turkey coma. The younger kids went to the basement to watch their own movie that didn’t have bad words, and all the parents knew at this point that we refused to censor what we watched—it was the mafia, I mean, really, what’s the point?
Junior and Serena jumped on the love sac in the bottom corner of the room that was shrouded in almost as much darkness as the couch on the other side. The one I commandeered.
Tank started walking toward me.
I gave him a look that said walk away.
His jaw clenched, and then he was going in the opposite direction toward the single-seat theater loungers.
Valerian and Val surrounded King and Maksim, Kartini and Izzy huddled in the corner, most likely talking shit about Tank because they could.
The lights flickered overhead.
And then they were completely off.
“The hell?” I jumped to my feet.
“Chill.” Dante’s voice sounded from the hall. “We tripped a breaker with all that turkey making—give it a few minutes.”
And then he was gone.
“Ummm.” I would recognize the panic in Annie’s voice anywhere.
I quickly turned on the flashlight on my cell and searched for her; she was standing just inside the room, equal distance from Tank and me.
We both moved at the same time that she did as she made her way down the stairs and toward me as if she hadn’t even seen Tank, but when he stopped right next to her as she faced me, I could see the guilt there as she hung her head and then flashed a smile up at him. “I’ll just sit down here.”
“Annie—”
“Tank.” She crossed her arms.
He shook his head vehemently. “I don’t get it. I’m never going to fucking get why girls love being treated like shit, more than the queens they are.“ He zeroed his focus in on me. “And yeah, I know you want to slit my throat, but you don’t deserve her, Ash. You’re toxic; you’ll always be toxic and cruel. She deserves better.”
“Like you?” I snorted.
“Pissing match, party of two,” Junior coughed. “We can aaallll hear you.”
“Good, then you can all see the beginning of this so that I can say told you so when it ends like shit!” Tank threw up his hands. “He’s going to break you, Annie. Just don’t expect me to be waiting to pick up the pieces.”
He stormed out of the room, leaving us in an awkward silence as everyone glanced in our direction and then looked away, flashlights turning down to give me and Annie privacy.
I reached for her hand and tugged her against my body. “Hey, he’s just angry. I know a lot about anger. It has a way of blinding you, consuming, let him feel it, he’ll be fine tomorrow.”
She let out a shudder and then an exhale. “Maybe I should go check on him.”
“I’m sure one of the guys went after him.” I was going to Hell for that. “Sit, relax… preferably on my lap.”
I could almost feel her roll her eyes. “I think I’ll just sit next to your… lap.”