“You’re wrong…” His voice was deep, rich as his lips nipped my right ear, his tongue sliding out as he pressed an erotic kiss to my neck. I wanted to buck against him but was immobile, and I hated that his kiss felt tender when it should have felt like a thousand needles burying inside my skin. “You will feel pleasure, or I’m not doing my job right.”
“I’d prefer you not do your job.” I spat. “At all!”
I felt something cold against my thigh, and then he whispered, “Scream again.”
I didn’t need any encouragement.
I screamed, and I screamed, and I screamed until the sound of the door opening and closing filled the room. I still couldn’t move very well or see.
“No games,” another Russian voice said; it was deeper. “You do this, or her entire family dies.”
The door shut again.
“I’m sorry.” The smooth Russian voice was back and then the weight of his body as he sat next to me. “I thought—I imagined they wouldn’t come in and look, the blood…”
“They can’t die.” My voice shook as another tear slid down my cheek.
“Regrets.” His voice was back, this time it felt guttural like the room had turned into his own personal Hell or maybe he’d just joined mine. “We all have them. And I can promise you, this will be mine, something that will be at the top of the list will be this very moment, taking what wasn’t mine to take, what was only yours to give.”
Tears burned my eyes as my lips parted to say something like. “Good.”
Instead, I felt nothing but pain.
My own.
His.
“Will they really die if you don’t do this?” I asked softly.
He was silent and then. “You die, possibly the new Sinacore boss, definitely your father, they have a gun trained on him right now at the party along with your mother and younger sister.”
“It seems such a small sacrifice.” A knot of emotion lodged in my throat. “One small thing I give, you take, and everyone lives.”
“There is living—” he agreed “—and there is surviving. You’re doing the second right now, but one day, not tomorrow or the next day, you’ll live again, you’ll smile without pain, and you’ll know you did your part in saving your family when you were given the chance.”
“Who are you?” My heart slammed against my chest. I’d never heard a person speak like that before or have such insight like he’d lived a thousand lives and only taken the wise, meaningful moments and collected them for a time like this.
“Valerian.” His voice shook. “Valerian Petrov.”
“That doesn’t sound like the name of a monster.”
“And yet… it is.” His hands cupped my face, my lips trembled as he brought his mouth to mine in the most tender, confusing kiss I’d ever received in my entire life.
My brain said we had to give in.
And my body pounded with confusion as his tongue slid past my lips. I could barely kiss him back; I was too tired, too drugged.
“Every kiss,” he whispered against my mouth. “Should feel like this.”
“Like I’m getting raped?” My voice trembled even though his body was warm as it hovered so close to mine, I could feel the skin from his chest, his neck, the short intake of breaths against my mouth.
“Like you can’t help but feel everything even when you know you shouldn’t.” He said softly, his hands dug into my hair, and then he was kissing me again. Hands shaking, he palmed my thighs and then slowly slid my skirt up around my hips.
He hesitated again.
A soft knock sounded at the door.
My lips trembled. “What does the knock mean?”
“Three minutes left.”
Three minutes until I was a different person.
Three minutes until I was undone.
Three minutes to give myself to save the ones I loved.
“Valerian?” I gulped.
“Yes?”
“I’m giving you my permission.” I had to do this on my terms, so I had control even though it was a lie.
He cursed.
“Please.”
He was gone, and the sound of breaking glass had me internally panicking, and then his hands were back on my legs, spreading them open as another hot kiss pressed against my lips.
“Imagine him.”
“Who?” I wasn’t dating anyone, clearly had never been with anyone, just lusted after Breaker then wanted to murder him when I heard of every single sexcapade.
“Whoever you dream about at night.” His voice was filled with so much pain that it almost felt like the roles were reversed, that I should be comforting him. “Whoever holds your heart, imagine him, his smile, his eyes, imagine his hands.” He removed my thong as he spoke, gently encouraging me, seducing me with his tenderness.
My heart was at war between right and wrong.
A trembling hand slid between my legs.
I could barely move, but it didn’t matter, because he seemed to be doing all the work as he worked me into a frenzy I couldn’t even fight against while his other hand dug into my hair, his mouth met mine in a painful kiss before he whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry.” Against my lips and then searing pain hit me so hard that I cried out.