The thought haunted me the entire morning as the bosses came over to make arrangements. It was a steady stream of black suits coming in and going out of the house.
And Ash refused to get up.
At one point, Tank finally found his way into the living room. Breaker offered to share some clothes with him and show him where the showers were.
Tank didn’t know it yet, but he was in this, part of this now, so him going home and having a normal life now?
Probably not in the cards.
But we’d let him choose, we always did.
“I loved her.” Ash’s voice was so broken. “It wasn’t supposed to end this way.”
“It’s not the end.” Serena kept rubbing his hair back from his forehead in soothing strokes. “You have to live for her. What would she want you to do? Waste away?”
I’d seen Ash angry.
I’d seen him hurt.
But I’d never seen the sort of pain twisting his features like I did now, it was uncomfortably raw like he was broken and could never be fixed.
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, and then he finally confessed something I didn’t see coming.
“She was pregnant.” A sob escaped his throat, and then it was like he couldn’t stop talking. “We were fighting so much because she was terrified to bring up a baby in this lifestyle. That’s why she wanted the normal, that’s why she pushed it. She had no clue the thing she fucking pushed was going to end up getting her killed.” Eyes wild, he gripped me by the shirt and pleaded. “Please, I can’t live like this, I can’t. Don’t make me—”
His eyes rolled to the back of his head before he could finish, and when I looked up, it was to see Nikolai with a needle protruding from Ash’s neck.
“The hell!” I roared, jumping to my feet.
Nikolai sighed. “Let him rest.” His eyes were lifeless. “He’s been through a lot.”
“Did you know?” Serena asked.
Nikolai nodded. “His dad’s on his way.”
“You think angry Chase Abandonato is going to help the situation? Are you insane?” I would protect Ash even if it meant from his own father.
“He needs his family right now, and the only people in this room who know what it’s like to love and lose are Sergio and Chase, and I think it should be his own father who helps him heal… if he can at all.”
With that, Nikolai walked away.
Tears streamed down Serena’s cheeks as she whispered. “I can’t imagine, Junior, we can’t—”
I gripped her hand. I knew what she was saying. We couldn’t let that be us. We needed to be careful. But more than that. We needed each other.
“Let him sleep,” I whispered, helping her out from under his lap.
And without thinking, I wrapped an arm around Serena and pulled her against my chest, because it was as natural as breathing.
Unfortunately, it was the worst timing in the world, because that was about the time Chase came around the corner, his gaze flickering from her to me and back again, calculated, cool.
He walked right up to us and whispered, “I hope like hell you two know what you’re doing.”
“Says the man who told his son to break us up,” I sneered under my breath. “Forgive me for not feeling very grateful right now.”
“You should be.” Chase’s eyes were sad. “I was trying to save your lives.”
“Don’t fight,” Serena whispered. “Ash needs you.”
Chase’s stance tensed. He was a lethal son of a bitch who was barely restrained by the rage he kept in his soul, the revenge that lurked beneath the surface where his heart should be. “I would take it from him if I could.”
“I know,” Serena answered. “And do me a favor?”
“Anything.” Serena had every single boss wrapped around her little finger, didn’t she?
“Don’t tell my dad.” She touched his arm. “Ash needs you.” Her lower lip trembled as she flicked a glance at me. “But, I need him.”
“Fuck.” Chase bit down on his lip. “This conversation never happened, all right?”
“Right,” I agreed.
Chase held out his hand.
I shook it, wondering what the hell he was doing, and then I realized as Serena’s eyes filled with more tears.
He was giving the blessing… her father wouldn’t.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Serena
We’d all gravitated toward the gym downstairs, maybe because the upstairs was filled with too much grief. From the minute Claire’s mom arrived, she didn’t stop crying, which made me suddenly thankful that Ash was out.
We’d grabbed his limp ass body and brought him downstairs, worried that he would wake up in shock and shoot something.
Phoenix and Bee decided to cut their trip short and were already en route so they could attend the funeral in two days.
Being strong for Ash was one thing, being strong for all the younger cousins that we’d all but shoved into the theater room, not to mention my little sister… was harder.