Leila could well be on her way back to the cold of her family, to live a life of shame for the street bastard she had produced, and he thought then how her family would be with his daughter.
James looked up at the sky that might be carrying them both away now and there were no stars tonight. There would be no more stars without Leila, but then, as easily as that, he knew where she was.
He found her just a ten-minute walk from his door.
‘You shouldn’t be here at night on your own,’ James said, and he sat on a bench beside her. She could not bring herself to look at him so she looked at the park that she loved where she had for a little while believed she’d belonged.
‘The only thing that scares me about this night is that I’ll believe your lies and your excuses...’ She turned very briefly and it hurt too much to look at his cheating face so she turned away. ‘I see you’ve gone off blonde women since you met me,’ Leila sneered in disgust.
‘Yep.’
‘Well, was she worth it?’
‘Actually, no,’ James said, and he caught the hand that came to meet him. ‘It was Manu...’
‘I don’t need her name,’ Leila said, and she crumpled because even in their darkest row he sat patiently beside her.
‘She’s been trying to help me so that I can contact your brother, so I can ask him to speak with your family.’
‘In a hotel room?’ Leila challenged. ‘I heard you talking. I heard you laughing...’
‘In a business suite,’ James said. ‘Manu’s sitting parked at The Harrington in case you go there.’
‘You come home stinking of perfume...you are laughing with another woman behind closed doors...’
‘She was laughing at me, Leila,’ James said, and something in his voice made her turn around and she watched as he gritted his teeth and then made himself say it.
He took a breath, forced the words out.
‘Ana ata’allam al arabiyya.’
She didn’t laugh as he told her that he had been learning Arabic. She just stared and did not feel a fool for believing him.
‘You’ve been doing that for me?’
‘I was hoping that I might be able to speak with your father. I didn’t want to tell you because honestly, at times, Leila, I’m not sure if I am ever going to be able to speak it well enough. I didn’t want you to get your hopes up and I didn’t want you laughing at my attempts.’
‘Why would I laugh when I think that is the nicest thing you could do for me. You are disappointed it’s a girl though...’
‘I am beside myself with happiness that we’re having a girl,’ James said, and his voice had her again believing him. She felt his hand on her stomach, caressing her the way she had wanted him to at the scan. ‘I thought I’d lost you both. I thought you were on your way home...’
‘I would never keep you from your baby, James,’ Leila said, and he nodded as she finally excised that dread forever.
‘I’ve messed up, Leila. Manu was furious about the photo and told me off for touching you in public. She says it will offend not just your family but you. You were right—she wasn’t worth it. I should have spoken to you.’
‘You should have, for your touch has never offended me,’ Leila said. ‘Well, once, and I think you registered my displeasure.’
‘I did.’
‘You haven’t made things worse with my family, James. It was terrible already,’ Leila said, and started to cry again. He saw the pain and agony and he knew he hadn’t caused all of it.
‘Maybe they’re grieving...’ James attempted, because he knew the school of thought about not criticising another’s family, but then Leila told him there was more.
‘I’m too ashamed to tell you.’
‘Never be ashamed with me,’ James said.
‘She’s never loved me...’ And he didn’t pat her on the shoulder and say of course she did. He just listened in silent horror as he found out that Leila’s mother wouldn’t even touch her. ‘The maids fed me,’ Leila said. ‘She hated me so much that she could not bring herself to give me her milk. Even the maids thought me greedy. The night I left she finally told me that she wished it had been me who had died instead of Jasmine. When I called she asked if you said you loved me before or while I parted my legs...’
‘I said that I loved you here, Leila.’ James pointed out. ‘I would never look you in the eye and say that I loved you if I didn’t.’
‘You would marry me, though, without loving me.’
‘I don’t know that now,’ James admitted. ‘I didn’t like what I saw at my parents’ home. Forcing anyone into anything is not the type of person I usually am. I overreacted when I found out you were pregnant. I was terrified that you’d go back to them.’