He nods, all too eager to agree. “Whatever you want, Cassidy.”
What I want is to go back in time, I think bitterly. What I want is for him to have opened up to me from the start. But since I don’t have a time machine, I step around him to unlock my front door.
Inside, I take a seat on the couch. I don’t offer him a drink, or even water. He doesn’t seem to expect it, at least. And unlike last time, when he sat so close to me that I could hardly breathe, he takes a seat at the far end of the couch, perched on the edge of it, his whole body still tense, like he’s ready to jump up and leave any moment that I order him to.
“First of all, I just want to apologize, again,” he starts. “It… I know my life is a mess. And I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved in it. Honestly, that’s the smart reaction.” He squeezes his eyes shut for a breath.
I hold mine. I’m not giving him anything. No sympathy. Because he’s right. It is smarter of me to stay detached.
When he opens his eyes again, they find mine. Lock on. “Sheryl and I are getting a divorce. We filed for it a year ago. Well, actually, I filed for it. She contested… it’s been a whole back and forth.”
I press my lips together, waiting. I knew this much, at least.
“But… well. Due to some bad decisions on my part, the contract of our company, Anderson Investments, it’s…” He clears his throat. “We set the whole thing up in Sheryl’s name when we first founded it. She talked me into it; I wanted to make us 50/50 partners, but she convinced me it would be simpler to keep it all under her. She was the finance person, after all; I was the one who worked with our clients face-to-face, and more on the marketing and business-building side. I don’t…” He bites his lower lip. “My only explanation is that I trusted her, back then. I mean, she was my wife. I thought…” He shakes his head.
My chest tightens. I take another breath, unaware I’d been holding mine.
“Anyway, long story short, she has complete control over what happens to the company. And we’ve spent years working on it, I… I poured everything I had into this business. When things between us soured, when I started feeling unfulfilled and unhappy in my marriage, I dealt with it by working harder, putting all my hopes and dreams into the company. It’s my baby, really.” He laughs, a little bit bitterly. “And now, well… That’s her leverage, I guess.” He blows out a long sigh. “Sheryl knows how deeply I’m invested. She couldn’t care less about how the business does, whether it thrives or not—as long as she can skim her usual cut off the top of the profits and sustain her lifestyle.”
I wince, and glance across the room, at where my stacks of makeup supplies sit. I know how that feels. To pour your heart and soul into a company. One that may or may not succeed. I spent so much time struggling on my own company, after all. And it was only with Lark’s help that I was able to break out.
“I like helping people,” Lark says, as if reading my mind. “I like being that angel investor who can swoop in and make dreams come true for people like you. Smart people with great business ideas who just need that first leg up to make it in the world.” He smiles, for the first time since he stepped inside.
Too late, I realize I’m smiling too. My mouth answering his without my permission. With effort, I wipe the smile off my face and stare at him, waiting for him to go on.
“Anyway, at first, Sheryl said she’d change the company structure. She’d let me buy out her shares and take over the company as the sole investor. She’d have enough money to start something new, and I’d have what I want: the whole company to myself, to run how I want. But her stipulation was a year of marriage counseling first. She told me, she promised that if I went to counseling for one year, she’d change the business structure, even if I still wanted a divorce afterward. I guess she thought we could work things out, I don’t know… But counseling only made it clearer than ever that we don’t belong together. She spends every session beating me up, and even when the counselor asks her to confront her own issues, to look at places where she may have contributed to our relationship breaking down, she refuses. Just twists everything back on me.”
I sigh, thinking about my mother earlier. And about Norman. I know how that feels. “So that’s why you’re still married,” I murmur. “To try to save your business.” The realization washes over me slowly. All this time, I thought I was the one being taken advantage of—that I was just some side fling for Lark, while he worked on his marriage in therapy. When really, he’s been trapped. The same way I was once trapped with Norman. Being manipulated, made to feel like I could never get free, never survive on my own…