“Highly unlikely. I mean, really, Minerva, what are the odds?”
“So, Artemis Fowl wants me to forget all about my Nobel project and turn my demon captives loose.”
“Forget the project, certainly,” said Artemis, checking his watch. “But I don’t think there is any need for you to set your captives free.”
“Oh, really? And why is that?”
“Because, I imagine they are already gone.”
Minerva spun around to face the spot where No1 had been sitting. It was empty; her captive demon had disappeared along with his chair. A perfunctory sweep told her the entire room was empty, except for her.
“Where is he, Artemis?” she screamed into the phone. “Where is my prize?”
“Forget about all of this,” said Artemis softly. “It’s not worth it. Take it from someone who has made your mistakes. I will call you soon.”
Minerva squeezed the phone as though it were Artemis’s neck.
“You tricked me!” she said, the truth suddenly dawning on her. “You allowed me to capture your demon!”
But Artemis did not reply. He had reluctantly closed his fist on the conversation. Generally, outsmarting someone gave him a warm and fuzzy feeling, but hoodwinking Minerva Paradizo just made him feel like a sneak. It was ironic that he felt like a bad guy, now that he was almost a good guy.
Butler glanced across at him from his perch on the knoll.
“How did that go?” he asked. “Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.”
“Fabulous,” said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “We’re planning a June wedding.”
CHAPTER 9
TURNED TABLES
Chateau Paradizo
When Holly Short had opened the door of her makeshift basement cell, she had found her helmet bouncing on the spot in front of her with a 3-D image of Foaly’s face projected onto it.
“That is really creepy,” she said. “Couldn’t you just text me?”
Foaly had included a 3-D help program in Holly’s helmet’s computer. It came as no surprise to Holly that he had given the help module his own features.
“I’ve lost some weight since this model was constructed,” said Foaly’s image. “I’ve been jogging. Every evening.”
“Focus,” Holly ordered.
Holly dipped her chin and Foaly bounced the helmet onto her head. She sealed it tight.
“Where is the demon?”
“Straight up the stairs. Second door on the left,” answered Foaly.
“Good. You’ve wiped our patterns from the security system?”
“Of course. The demon is invisible, and you can’t be picked up, no matter what kind of lens they use.”
Holly jumped up the human-size steps. It would have been easier to fly, but she had left her wings outside, along with her suit computer. There had been no need to risk placing them in human hands, other than Artemis’s. And even that had taken a little thinking about.
She hurried along the corridor, past the first door on the left, and crept through the open doorway of the second, taking in the situation with a quick scan of the room.
The demon was secured on a chair, and the human girl was on the phone facing away from him. There was a large two-way mirror on the wall. Holly used her thermal scan to ascertain that the adjoining room had one occupant, a large male. He appeared to be talking on his cell phone, not facing the demon’s cell.
“Should I stun the girl?” asked Foaly hopefully. “She knocked you out with sleeping gas.” He was quite enjoying playing with his new toy. It was like a first-person computer game.
“I wasn’t actually unconscious,” said Holly, her words contained by the helmet’s seal. “I was holding my breath. Artemis had told me that she would use gas. The first thing I did was vent the vehicle.”
“What about that Mud Man next door?” persisted Foaly. “I can focus the laser through the glass. It’s quite clever, really.”
“Shut up or you will pay for it when I get home,” warned Holly. “We only shoot in an emergency.”
Holly skirted Minerva, careful to avoid brushing against the Mud Girl or treading on a loose board. A single creak now could scupper all their plans. She squatted before the little demon, who did not seem too worried about his plight. What he was actually doing was listing off words, and having a little giggle after every one.
“‘Cornucopia,’ oh, very good,” he said. And then. “‘Sanitary.’ I like that one. Hee-hee.”
Marvelous, thought Holly. This demon obviously lost a few brain cells in the transfer. She used voice command to type a text on her visor.
“Nod if you can read this,” the text read. To the demon, the words appeared floating in space before him.
“‘Nod if you can . . .’” he mouthed, then stopped and began nodding furiously.
“Stop nodding!” sent Holly. “I am an elf. One of the First Family of fairies. I am here to rescue you. Do you understand?”
No response, so Holly sent a command. “Nod once if you understand.”
A single nod from the demon.
“Good. All you need to do is stay very still and quiet.”
Another nod. The little demon was catching on.
Foaly had transferred his image to the inside of Holly’s visor.
“Ready?” asked the centaur.
“Yep. You keep an eye on the Mud Man next door. If he turns around, then you can stun him.”
Holly wiggled her hand up her right sleeve, pincering a sheet of foil between her index and middle fingers. This is not as easy as it sounds, when a fairy is shielded and vibrating at speeds faster than the human eye could follow. It was made easier by the Section 8 suit, which reduced the amount of vibration necessary. Holly pulled out and unfolded a large square of cam-foil that automatically projected a fair approximation of what should be behind it. Each bead on the cam-foil was actually a fairy-made multifaceted diamond that could reflect accurately no matter what the viewing angle was.
She backed up close to No1, then held up the sheet of foil. The foil was equipped with multisensor technology, so it was a simple matter for Foaly to wipe No1 from the projection. To Minerva it would seem that her demon captive had simply vanished. To No1 it would seem like nothing whatsoever was happening, and that this was the lamest rescue in the history of rescues.
Seconds later, Minerva turned quickly to face them.
No1 nodded hello, and was amazed to find that Minerva could not see him.
“Where is he, Artemis?” the girl screamed into her phone. “Where is my prize?”
No1 thought about saying I’m right here! but decided against it.
“You tricked me!” squealed Minerva. “You allowed me to capture your demon!”
Finally the penny drops, thought Holly. Now go and search the chateau like a good girl.
Minerva obligingly stalked out of the room, yelling for her father. Next door, Papa Paradizo, hearing his daughter’s screams, closed his phone, and began to turn . . .
Foaly activated the helmet laser and shot him in the chest. He tumbled to the floor and lay in a heap, his chest heaving with the slow breaths of the unconscious.
“Sweet,” crowed the centaur. “Did you see that? Not so much as a smudge on the glass.”
“He was heading for the door!” objected Holly, dropping the cam-foil.
“He was coming to the glass. I had to stun him.”
“We will talk about this later, Foaly. I do not like your new gung-ho attitude.”
“Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.”
“Who? Listen, just stop talking!” hissed Holly, melting No1’s bonds with two sharp laser bursts.
“Free!” exclaimed the imp, jumping to his feet. “Liberated. Unbound. Without restrictions.”
Holly shut off her shield and revealed herself to No1.
“I hope that’s a helmet,” said No1.
Holly touched a button and her visor slid up. “Yes. I am a fairy, just like y
ou. Only from a different family.”
“An elf!” exclaimed No1 delightedly. “An actual elf. I hear you cook your food, and like music. Is that true?”
“Occasionally, when we’re not trying to escape from murderous humans.”
“Oh, they’re not murderous, pugnacious, homicidal, or even bellicose.”
“Maybe not the one you met. But there’s a guy with funny hair in the basement. And believe me, when he wakes up he’s going to be murderous and all those other things you mentioned.”
No1 remembered Billy Kong; he had no desire to meet him again.
“Very well, elf. What next?”
“Call me Holly.”
“I am No1. So what next, Holly?”