‘Hey, Chrissie, what’s up?” Ally pushed up the bed to lean back against her pillow.
‘I’m bleeding. I’m not losing the baby, am I?’ Her voice rose.
‘First of all, take a deep breath and try to calm down. I’ll have to examine you to know the answer to that, but you’re not necessarily having a miscarriage. Sometimes women do have some spotting and it’s fine.’
‘But what if I am miscarrying?’ There were tears in Chrissie’s voice. ‘I don’t want to lose it.’
Ally felt her heart squeeze for this brave young woman. ‘How heavy is the bleeding?’ Wrong question. To every pregnant mother it would be a flood.
‘Not lots. Nothing like my period or anything.’
Got that wrong, then, didn’t I? ‘I’ll come and see you this morning. Try to relax until I get there. This could just be due to hormonal changes or an irritation to your cervix after sex.’ Had Chrissie been seeing the boy who’d had a part in this pregnancy? There’d still been no mention of the father and she was reluctant to ask. It wasn’t any of her business, unless Chrissie was under undue pressure from him about the pregnancy and so far that didn’t seem to be the case.
‘Really?’ Chrissie’s indrawn breath was audible on the phone. Girls of this age didn’t usually like talking about their sexual relations to the midwife. It was embarrassing. ‘But that didn’t happen before when I wasn’t pregnant.’
‘Your body is changing all the time now, and especially your cervix.’ It sounded like they might have the cause of the spotting, but she needed to make absolutely sure. Ally got up and stretched, her body aware of last night’s lovemaking with Flynn. Easing the kinks out of her neck and back, she used one hand to pull on a thick jersey and trackpants before making her way to the kettle for a revitalising coffee. ‘Have you told your mum what’s happening?’
‘Yes. She said to ring you or Dr Reynolds.’
And I got the vote. Warmth surged through her. ‘If I’m at all worried after the exam, you’ll still need to see Dr Reynolds. He might want you to have an ultrasound. But first things first. I’ll be at your house soon. Is that all right?’ She wouldn’t mention the blood tests she’d need samples for. Chrissie might’ve sailed through the last lot without a flinch, but she didn’t need to be stressed over today’s until the last minute.
‘Thank you, Ally. That’s cool. I’m sorry to spoil your day off.’
‘Hey, you haven’t. This is what being a midwife’s about. You wait until junior is ready to come out. He or she won’t care what day of the week it is, or even if it’s day or night.’
‘I’m going to find out if it’s a boy or girl. I want time to think of a name and to get some nice things for it. I feel weird, calling the baby “it”. Like I don’t care or something.’
Talking about the scan was more positive than worrying she might be losing the baby. Ally sighed with relief. ‘Catch you shortly.’
Four hours later Ally parked outside Flynn’s house and rubbed her eyes. She was unusually tired. Her head felt weighed down—with what, she had no idea. Maybe the slower pace of the island did this to people. She’d noticed not everyone hurried from place to place, or with whatever they were doing. Certainly not the checkout operator at the supermarket, where she’d just been to stock up on a few essentials. The girl had been too busy talking to her pal she’d previously served to get on with the next load of groceries stacked on her conveyor belt.
Tap-tap on her window. Flynn opened her door. ‘Hey, you coming in or going to sit out here for the rest of the day? Adam could run errands for you, bring you a coffee or a sandwich.’
‘That sounds tempting.’ The heaviness lifted a little and she swung out of the car. ‘How’s things in your house this morning?’
He ignored her question. ‘You look exhausted. All that sexercise catching up with you?’ He suddenly appeared genuinely concerned. ‘You’re not coming down with anything, are you?’
‘Relax, I’m good. Just tired. I’ve spent most of this morning with Matilda Livingstone, trying to calm her down and make her understand that her pregnancy is going well, that she doesn’t need to worry about eclampsia at this early stage, if at all.’
‘Her mother’s been bleating in her ear again, I take it?’
‘Unfortunately, yes. Such a different outlook from Angela and Chrissie. I had an hour with Chrissie, as well. She had some mild spotting this morning, but hopefully I’ve allayed her concerns. We talked a lot about the trimesters and what’s ahead for her and the baby. I’m amazed at how much detail she wanted to know.’
‘Could be her way of keeping on top of the overwhelming fact that she’s pregnant and still at school and hoping to go to university.’
Ally nodded. ‘Yes, well, that plan of becoming a lawyer is on hold for a little while, but I bet she will do her degree. Maybe not in the next couple of years, but some time. There’s a fierce determination building up in her that she’ll not let baby change her life completely, that she’s going to embrace the situation and make the most of everything.’
‘That’s fine until her friends leave the island to study and she’s at home with a crying infant. That’s the day she’ll need all the strength she can muster.’
Ally shook her head at him. ‘She’ll love her precious baby so much she’ll be fine.’
‘Spoken like someone who hasn’t had a major disappointment in her life.’
Spoken like a woman who’s had more than her fair share of those, and has learned to try and see only the best in life by not involving herself with people so they can’t hurt her.
‘That’s me—Pollyanna’s cousin.’ It shouldn’t hurt that Flynn didn’t see more to her than her cheery facade, didn’t see how forced that sometimes was, but it did. Even if she cut him some slack because it had barely been a week since they’d met and outside work they’d only had fun times, she felt a twinge of regret.
What would it be like to have someone in her life who truly knew her? Where she’d come from. Why she kept moving from one clinic to the next, one temporary house to another. She’d thought she’d won the lottery with the Bartletts. She had come so close to belonging, had been promised love and everything, even adoption, so when it hadn’t eventuated, the pain of being rejected for a cute three-year-old had underscored what she’d always known. She was unlovable. Letting people into her heart was foolish, and to have risked it to the Bartletts because they’d made promises of something she’d only ever dreamed of having had been the biggest mistake of her young life. So big she’d never contemplated it again.
Oh, they’d explained as kindly as they could how their own two children, younger than her, hadn’t wanted a big sister. Being mindful of their children’s needs made Mr and Mrs Bartlett good parents, but they should never have promised her the earth. She’d loved them with such devotion it had taken months to fully understand what had happened. They’d said she was always welcome at their home. Of course, she hadn’t visited.
As she locked the car she watched Flynn with her bags of goodies striding up the path to his front door. Why did she feel differently about Flynn? Whatever the answer, it was all the more reason to remain indifferent.
Did his confidence come from having loved and been loved so well that despite his loss he knew who he was and why he was here? He wasn’t going to share his life with her or another woman. It was so obvious in the way he looked out for Adam, in the balancing act he already had with his career and his son. She’d been aware right from the get-go that there would be no future for her here.
That’s how she liked it, remember?
As Flynn stopped to look back at her she knew an almost overwhelming desire to run up to him and throw herself into his arms. So strong was this feeling that she unlocked the car. She had to drive away, go walk the beach or take a visit to the mainland.
‘Ally? You gone to sleep on your feet?’ The concern was genuine. ‘I think you should see a
doctor.’ Then he smiled that stomach-tightening smile straight at her. ‘This doctor.’
How could she refuse that invitation? There was friendship in that smile. There was mischief, as in sex, in that smile. That was more than enough. That’s all she ever wanted.
She locked the car again and headed inside.
Flynn watched Ally with Adam. She didn’t appear to be overly tired, more distracted. By what? Was she about to tell him thanks, she’d had a blast, but it was over? Already?
He wasn’t ready to hear that news. Not yet. They’d just got started. It had come as a surprise to find he wanted her so much, needed to get to know her intimately. He understood it had to be a short-term affair. Ally would leave at the end of her contract in three weeks—no doubt about that. For that he should be grateful. There wasn’t room in his life for anyone else. Adam came first, second, and took anything left over from the demands of the clinic.
Anyway, he doubted whether Ally had room for him or any man in her life. She was so intent on moving on, only touching down briefly in places chosen for her by her bosses and circumstances, doing her job with absolute dedication and then taking flight again.
‘Hey, Adam, what’ve you been doing this morning?’ The woman dominating his thoughts was talking to his boy and scratching Sheba’s ears.
‘We went to the beach to throw sticks for Sheba. I chucked them in the water. That’s why she’s all wet.’ Mischief lightened that deep shade of blue radiating out of Adam’s eyes. Here we go, another round of giggles coming up.
‘The water must’ve been freezing.’ Ally smiled softly and ruffled his hair, which Adam seemed to like. And that simple show of affection put the kibosh on the giggles as he stepped close to Ally and patted the top of Sheba’s head, too.
‘Sheba likes swimming.’ Adam looked up at Ally, hope in his eyes. ‘Are you still coming to see the penguins with us?’
‘That’s why I’m here. You and I can do the funny walk on the beach, see if they want to be our friends.’ She was good with him, no doubt about that.