‘Bad timing, isn’t it? Really bad.’
Her mouth fell open and she gaped at him.
He did sound apologetic. That didn’t help one iota.
She almost cried. ‘You have no idea.’ What have I done? Can I undo it? How totally unfair it would be to introduce Jamie to his dad only to have Mitchell disappear on him. No, that could not happen. No way.
Mitch looked directly at her, fixing her with those intense blue eyes. ‘It’s not right for a child to lose parents at an early age. Better not to have known them at all.’
By the time she found her voice and could get a sound out around the rock in her throat Mitch was long gone.
*
From the corner of the car park Mitch watched Jodi drive away from the hospital, his heart knocking and his head spinning.
Jodi Hawke had come to town, bringing with her problems he’d never expected to have to face.
‘I’m a father.’
Heading for his four-wheel drive in the underground park, he tried to think what this meant to him. Was he thrilled? Excited? Terrified? Angry?
Damn it. He’d go to Samantha’s party, drink a tankful and sink into oblivion. Forget Jodi was here. Forget the bombshell she’d dropped.
And how’s that going to look in front of your staff? Their HOD off his face at the party they’d put on to say farewell to him? A farewell he couldn’t look forward to anymore. Staff who expected better of him.
‘I’m a father.’
Yeah, he got that. Sort of. When would it really kick in? To the point where everything he did or thought had to take into consideration a small person? It might never happen with him. He wasn’t exactly qualified to be a parent.
Turning, he headed back to the road. The Shed Bar would be crowded and heaving but he could get a drink and not be able to hear himself think. Perfect.
Or he could change into his gym gear, which was in the back of his vehicle, and go for a run up at Auckland Domain. Build up a sweat and tire his body so that it would go to sleep when he finally crawled into bed. Pound the paths that circled the museum.
Yeah, and probably break an ankle tripping over a kerb.
Anyway, he liked the bar idea better. Shoving his hands deep into his trouser pockets, he headed for bourbon. On the rocks.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘MUMMY, WHY DO the sheep smell funny?’ Jamie leaned through the fence wire peering at the animals grazing on the lush green grass.
Jodi forced a grin but couldn’t keep the weariness out of it. ‘That’s their woolly coat. It keeps them warm and dry, like your jersey does for you. That’s made out of sheep’s wool too.’
Jamie’s brow furrowed as he looked from his fire-engine-red top to the muddy sheep. ‘Are there red sheep, Mummy?’
‘No, the wool is coloured with red dye, like I did with the icing for your birthday cake. Remember?’ Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, she stifled another yawn.
What with Mitch’s bombshell about Sydney and all the questions buzzing around her head, she hadn’t slept a wink last night. Worse, with her mother sleeping in the main room and Jamie in the small bedroom, she hadn’t been able to get up and read to distract herself. So Mitch had dominated her mind all night long. Nothing new, really. He’d been dominating it ever since she’d made the decision to move north. Come on, he’d never really left. Mitch had always held a place in her heart. They might be over as far as a loving, sexual relationship went, but she’d never been able to completely let him go. She’d loved him deeply. Missed him more than she’d believed possible.
‘Mummy, that man’s looking at me.’
She knew. Just knew it was Mitchell. Despite everything that had gone down between them last night, she’d known he’d come. Despite him saying a child shouldn’t have to lose a parent, she knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore Jamie for long.
Turning slowly, warily, she studied the man standing twenty metres away, who looked as though he didn’t know what to do next. ‘Hello, Mitch.’ He looked so…bewildered. Which was totally unlike him. What would it be like to hold him again? To feel that chest under her cheek? To have his arms around her? Darn, she’d missed him. Really, deep inside missed him.
‘Hi, Jodi.’ His eyes were glued on Jamie as he slowly closed the gap between them. ‘I called in at the motel and Alison told me I’d find you here.’
Mum had probably told him a whole heap more than that. ‘Cornwall Park’s the perfect place for a small boy who’s bored and feeling chained up in a motel unit the size of a gnat’s house. All this acreage, the sheep, trees—it’s wonderful. I’m going to take him up One Tree Hill shortly.’
Shut up, Jodi. Let Mitch speak. Let him tell you why he’s here. Has he come to meet Jamie? Or to explain more about why he’s soon heading to Sydney? As if she didn’t know the answer to that one. A very prestigious position. One to rub his brother’s face in, she’d bet. The guy couldn’t stay still if there was an outside chance of getting one over Max.
They were both the same, had a gene that kept them moving on through anything life handed them that hinted at commitment to another person. They couldn’t even front up to each other and admit their feelings. And who knew what those were? Mitch and Max probably didn’t have a clue. Kind of sad when they were the only close family either of them had.
And now, when she’d turned up with his son, Mitch had got lucky. Or was that nearly lucky? He’d already made plans to go away. Mitch’s heart must be doing leaps in the air. Timing was everything. What if she’d been a month earlier? Two months? He’d have immediately started searching for another position far away. Wouldn’t he? Or was she justifying her actions again?
‘Mummy?’ Jamie’s little hand crept into hers, his fingers twining tight around her thumb.
She dropped to her haunches, drew her baby into her arms. To protect him? Or herself? From what? ‘It’s okay, love. He’s a…’ Swallow. She looked over her son’s head at the man who’d helped her create him. ‘This is Mitchell, a friend of Mummy’s.’ Define friend. Define Mitchell Maitland. Impossible right now. Pulling her head away from Jamie, Jodi looked up into the bleak blue gaze of her boy’s father. ‘Mitch, I’d like you to meet my son, Jamie.’ She slowly turned Jamie to face him, holding his frail body against her.
Mitch blanched. She’d hit a tender spot. Tough. This was a battle. If he was about to disappear she wasn’t going to introduce him as Daddy. That might antagonise him, and her son’s life depended on Mitchell coming onside. She’d do whatever it took to save Jamie. So, Mitch, you’re toast. She pushed Jamie forward. ‘Shake hands with Mitch like Mummy showed you.’
Her heart swelled with pride and pain as she watched Jamie trot across the space to this man he’d never met, holding out his right hand in greeting. So trusting, so totally unaware how important Mitch could be to him. Who he was. Until now Jamie had never asked about his father, but it wouldn’t be much longer before he started
noticing he didn’t have one.
‘Hello, I’m Jamie Hawke.’
Thankfully Mitch reciprocated. She’d have killed him if he hadn’t.
‘Hello, young man.’ Mitch’s hand swallowed his son’s for a brief shake. Then it was as though he couldn’t let go. Like his hand had frozen in place around Jamie’s. ‘I’m Mitchell Maitland, but you can call me…’ He blinked, swallowed hard. ‘Call me Mitch, like your mummy does.’
‘Okay.’ Jamie tugged his hand free. ‘Want to see the sheep with me, Mitch?’
Mitch looked stunned at how easily he’d been accepted. ‘Um, all right, I guess.’
But as Jamie ran towards the fence Mitch remained fixed to the spot, studying him. ‘He’s small for his age, isn’t he? And so pale. All part of the renal failure, I know. Does he suffer a lot of pain? Headaches? What’s his urine output like?’
Jodi took his arm and led him across to join Jamie. Again Mitch was dealing with this the only way he knew how. But that didn’t explain the tremor running up his arm. ‘He has intermittent bone pain, lots of headaches, urinary tract infections are a regular occurrence, and there’s a score of other symptoms. He also has a sense of humour, loves chicken nuggets and fries, prefers orange juice to fizzy drinks, and wants to be a fireman when he grows up.’
‘Not a doctor, then?’ A wry smile tweaked Mitch’s mouth.
‘They’re boring. Anyway, I think he’s had his fill of medics for a while.’
‘That makes sense. Poor little guy. Of all the crappy things to happen to him.’
Jodi pursed her mouth. ‘I know. I’ve spent hours berating the fact my boy got sick, but as a doctor I know better than that.’
‘I guess if there’s anything to be grateful about it is that you are a doctor.’ When her eyebrows lifted he grimaced. ‘Doesn’t make the slightest bit of difference?’
‘Not a jot. Sometimes I think it’s worse. I’ve always known what’s ahead, and probably spend too much time looking for symptoms that aren’t there. Yet.’