He didn’t say anything for a while. Nothing to say, she supposed. They were parents grappling with a huge problem and finding their way back to each other with all that was going on wouldn’t exactly be easy.
Finally Mitch asked, ‘How’s the dialysis going?’
‘Doing its job, thank goodness. With the cycler working overnight, hopefully Jamie will be feeling a lot better in the morning. But I never get used to this,’ she murmured. ‘No matter how many times we end up in hospital, every visit is as frightening as the first one.’ With her other hand she stroked Jamie’s arm. ‘Even with all the swelling he looks so small in this enormous bed. So frail. So darned ill.’ Tears pricked the backs of her eyelids and she squeezed tight to prevent them spilling down her face. She had to be strong for Jamie. It would never do for him to wake up and see her crying.
Mitch must have sensed her fragility because he wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands meeting beneath her breasts and pulling her back against his waist. ‘Shh, you’re doing fine. Just fine. How the hell you’ve managed to stay sane this long I can’t begin to understand. I’m new to this and I’m already feeling wrecked.’
Sniff, sniff. Winding her hands around his, she told him, ‘Not a lot of choice. One of those situations that when faced with you get on and do what has to be done. And that’s another thing. There’s not much I can do for Jamie. As a doctor or as a mum. Some days I feel so utterly helpless.’
His chin dropped onto the top of her head. ‘Being a mum, being with him all the time, is the most important role. I’d bet anything that if you could ask Jamie he’d agree with me. Nothing, nobody, is as important to have around as your mum. Especially when life is going horribly pear-shaped. Believe me, I know.’
Was this the little boy whose mother died speaking here? ‘Thank you. I really needed to hear that.’ How had Mitch survived that shock and hurt? Even if his adoptive family had been kind and loving he’d have always carried a deep sense of loss. Even more because his twin had been taken away as well. Without thinking, she lifted his hand and kissed his palm.
He asked, ‘Want a break? Take a shower? Grab something to eat? I’ll sit with Jamie. The staff will page me if anything urgent comes up in ED.’
Shaking her head, ‘No, I don’t want to leave him in case he wakes. He’ll panic if I’m not here. I’m sorry, Mitch, but he’s not used to you yet. Not enough to be happy I’m not in sight when he wakes in a strange place anyway. Not that hospital is strange to him, I suppose.’
‘It’s okay, I get it.’
Leaning over the bed, she tucked Jamie’s blankie closer to his pillow so he could see it when he woke up. ‘Mind you, when he sees that teddy bear you brought him he might be more than happy for you to be with him.’ A tired chuckle escaped her. ‘I don’t suppose they had any small bears in that shop?’
‘Define small.’
‘Something not as tall as Jamie.’
‘Nope, not a one. Not a good-looking one, anyway.’ Mitch was studying her with a serious gleam in his eye.
‘What?’
‘You mightn’t want to leave Jamie but you do need to eat. I’ll go and get you something, plus some decent coffee.’
‘Thanks, but I’m not hungry.’
‘Jodi, you’ve got to eat. Look at you, fading away to nothing. I’m guessing that’s because your appetite goes every time Jamie has another serious bout of his cystinosis.’
‘I needed to lose weight.’ As much as ten kilos? None of her gorgeous clothes fit anymore. Not that she ever went out anywhere to wear them. At work she tended to stick to simple trousers and blouses. No point tarting herself up to be coughed or puked on.
‘I’m going to the café. Any preferences?’ When she shook her head he leaned closer. ‘I liked you exactly as you were. Your figure was fabulous. Not that it’s as important as what’s on the inside. And that’s fabulous too.’
By the time she’d dredged up a fitting retort Mitch had gone, leaving her to wonder what the hell was going on here. He was being so helpful and caring, supportive and bossy. Needed fattening up indeed.
Oh, okay. Fabulous on the inside. Wow. She could take as many compliments as Mitch wanted to dish out, but where did they come from? Why now and not when they had been together? Hugging herself, she enjoyed the warmth seeping through her.
Then her stomach rumbled and she had to concede another point. ‘I get the picture. I’m apparently hungry. I’ll do my best to eat whatever Mitch brings me.’
*
Mitch stood in the doorway to Jamie’s room with a pizza box in one hand and a soda can in the other. He was late back, having been called to the ED just as he’d stepped outside the hospital. A teenager who’d been huffing gas. God damn it, when were these kids going to learn they couldn’t abuse their bodies and keep getting away with it? It had been touch and go but, fingers crossed and with a lot of intensive medical care, the girl would make it through the night.
He studied Jodi. Quiet, slumped and yet very busy. Watching over her boy. Watching every breath he took. Observing the tubes putting goodies into him. Keeping a wary eye on the cycler that was emptying Jamie’s abdomen of wastes, chemicals and extra water. Hopefully reducing the fluid retention that made Jamie so bloated.
‘Ah, Jodi, sweetheart, you’re awesome.’ The words were so quiet even he didn’t really hear them. Which was just as well. He did not want to see the disbelief in her eyes if she’d overheard.
He’d swear that she’d breathe for Jamie if she could. She’d certainly stick the needles and tubes into her body if that would save Jamie any discomfort. A true mother. An extraordinary woman. But, then, he’d always known that. That’s why he’d been attracted to her.
Her looks and figure had drawn him first, but it had been her sense of joy—now missing—in everything, her love of life, the kindnesses and selflessness, her inner strength that had had him going back to her again and again for just one more date. That was what had stopped him leaving her after only a few weeks, as he’d done with all the other women he’d known. Before and after Jodi.
Jodi had set a benchmark that he’d not found since in any woman he’d taken out. Not that he’d been actively looking. Too busy avoiding staying around too long. Whereas Jodi had come from behind and slapped him on the head while he hadn’t been looking. Unfortunately he’d probably made the biggest mistake of his sorry life when he’d let her get away. He hadn’t recognised the emotion he’d felt for her that had churned through him as love. Plain and simple. Love. Complex and distracting. He hadn’t wanted to be distracted from his game plan of getting the top job in his chosen path. A little longer and he’d have had it all.
Talk about dumb. And now it was too late. He couldn’t make up for not being there during Jamie’s illnesses. Even if Jodi hadn’t given him the opportunity, he had to take the blame. It had been his ho-hum attitude to their relationship that had had her packing his bags. His lack of commitment that had prevented her telling him he was a father. Because, to her, he was as irresponsible as her own father. How stupid could a bloke be?
‘Is that real coffee I can smell?’ the woman who had his hormones and emotions on a roller-coaster ride asked.
‘Sure is. And a pepperoni and triple-cheese pizza.’
‘Very tempting.’ Her eyes gleamed with gratitude, making him feel pleased he’d done something right for her. And then her tongue licked the corner of her mouth and he tripped over his own feet as he crossed to the bed.
More than his feet were having difficulty ignoring that gesture. South of his belt his maleness sat up, so aware of her it frightened him. Definitely not the time or place to be thinking anything sexual. That tongue flick must’ve been a subconscious move on Jodi’s part, surely? She didn’t look at all interested in anything but her coffee.
Guess it was good one of them had their priorities right.
‘Hey, hope I’m not intruding?’ Carl hovered in the door. ‘Came to see how the little guy was doing.?
??
‘You didn’t bring the film crew with you?’
‘Everyone’s taking a break.’ Carl gave an easy smile. ‘Even we’re learning to grab five when it’s quiet.’
Jodi was watching Carl, caution tightening her mouth. ‘You’re one of the TV crew members? Is that why you were in the ED?’
Mitch made the introduction. ‘Carl is in charge of the crews and does all the planning required.’
Carl stretched a hand in Jodi’s direction. ‘You’re Mitch’s wife?’ In the silence that followed only Carl looked totally comfortable. ‘Partner?’
Jodi shrugged and sucked a breath through her teeth. ‘We’re Jamie’s parents.’
Mitch gave the guy credit for not making any ridiculously obvious comments, instead shifting along the bed to look down at Jamie. ‘How’s he doing? Better than when you first brought him in, I hope.’
Jodi answered. ‘Dialysis makes him more comfortable but the catheter irritates his tummy, which he hates. He’s always weary. His day is filled with short naps.’