‘Sasha?’ Grady stood in the doorway. ‘You okay?’
Forcing her hands to relax, she plastered the facsimile of a smile on her mouth and stood up. ‘Perfectly fine.’ Now, that was a fib.
‘Dinner’s ready.’ He didn’t move away, remained with his thoughtful gaze cruising over her. What was he thinking? Did she measure up to his expectations after all this time? Did he even have any expectations? And what did it matter? They had no future together.
‘I’ll be there in a minute.’ Go away. Take those all-seeing eyes with you. Give me some space. You’re crowding me, turning any rational thinking into a mire of questions and memories. Enticing crazy ideas to blossom in my skull. Ideas about you and me and my baby.
Picking up her trackpants, she waved them at Grady. ‘One minute.’
The moment he turned away she untied her belt and let her trousers drop to her ankles. Stepping out of them, she tugged her trackies on and changed her blouse for a loose sweatshirt that downplayed her baby bulge. Trackpants weren’t exactly a fashion statement, wouldn’t flatter her or remind Grady of sex, but they were darned comfortable and comforting.
Did she want to remind Grady of sex? With her? Of course not. But having him thinking she looked a frump was hard to swallow, too. Those new trousers with the loose waistband looked okay if she wore a long top over them. Reaching into the wardrobe she heard Grady calling again. Too late. Frump look it was.
*
‘That was as delicious as it smelt when I arrived home.’ Sasha pushed her plate away after her second helping of rice and pork. ‘I’m impressed.’
His grin was cocky. ‘Wait till you taste my seafood paella.’
‘Guess I’ll have to give that a miss. Seafood is out while I’m pregnant. Listeria is a concern.’
‘So if I go out scalloping with Ian next week, you won’t be able to eat any?’ His grin just got bigger. ‘You will hate that.’
‘True. But the season will still be open when my baby arrives so I’ll make up for any I’ve missed out on then.’
Grady gathered up their plates. ‘Are you going to work right up until you have her?’
‘Definitely. Unless something goes wrong, high blood pressure, that sort of thing. I don’t see why not.’ She needed the money.
‘When is the girl you’re covering for due back?’
‘Karen’s returning about a month after I’m due. Jess is going to cover for both of us during that time. Nicholas, her little boy, will have to go to playgroup every day, but that’s no hardship. He loves it.’
Grady placed the plates in the sink and asked, ‘Do you want ice cream? It’s boysenberry.’
Still her favourite flavour. ‘Low blow. How can I resist?’
Opening the freezer, he asked another question. ‘What will you do for a job after your maternity leave is up? You said something about a permanent job but with Jess and this other nurse the centre won’t need you, will they?’
‘There’s talk about me job sharing with Karen so we both have time off with our babies.’ Half-pay would be better than none. Once she was more confident with Flipper she might have to look at moving over to Nelson and a full-time position, but at the moment she didn’t intend worrying about that. She had saved and invested a lot of money during her years working in Dubai, though that was for a deposit on a house some time, not for everyday expenses. But enough of talking about her. ‘Have you got a job to return to once your house is on the market?’
He leaned that mouth-watering butt against the bench and folded his arms across his chest. His eyes seemed to be searching her face, looking for who knew what. His answer, when it finally came, rocked her. ‘There’s a contract waiting for me to sign at the practice I qualified from in Auckland. But I like the idea of being a locum for a while. Being here and working a couple of shifts has got me thinking.’
‘About working here?’ she squeaked. ‘As in Golden Bay?’ Please, no. Not that. For a start, there weren’t any vacancies at the medical centre. Though the three doctors were often bemoaning the fact they never got much time off.
‘Would that be so bad?’ He was serious.
For her peace of mind, yes, it would. She was still getting used to being back home herself, starting to really relax and let go the past that involved city living, a big job and lots of people always in her face. People who hurt her, broke her trust.
But at the same time Golden Bay and Grady went hand in hand—for her anyway. She’d only known him since she was a teen but that year she’d met him on Pohara Beach had been big. She’d given him her heart in this place. She’d planned a future with him here.
Grady was waiting for her reply, still leaning against the bench, only now he looked as though he needed the cabinet’s support. His eyes had darkened as they bored right inside her.
Hopefully he didn’t see her confusion. Because she sure didn’t understand her own feelings right now. She wasn’t sure she couldn’t trust him again. She also knew he made her feel safe, made her feel as though he’d do anything for her. Made her feel, full stop.
On the table her hands were shaking so she shoved them on her thighs out of his sight. ‘No, Grady, it’s not a problem for me.’ That was the biggest fib she could’ve come up with.
Her reply didn’t make him look relieved. Not at all. ‘But you’d prefer it if I didn’t.’
Standing up, she crossed to stand directly in front of him. ‘Grady, I’m still settling in myself. It’s a permanent move for me.’ She crossed her fingers. ‘Mum’s going to need more and more attention as the MS progresses, though hopefully that will be a while away. And I’d like Flipper to start her life in a place that teaches community values, where she has family and friends who’ll always be there for her, no matter what.’
‘The same things that are making me feel more comfortable than I’ve felt in years, and I didn’t grow up here.’ With his forefinger he lifted a strand of hair from her cheek and slipped it behind her ear. ‘The things that remind me of you.’
Gulp. Move. Away. From. Grady. Now.
Her feet were lead weights, so heavy she couldn’t shift. Lifting her gaze, she locked eyes with him. Saw a need in those cerulean orbs. A need for her. Gulp. This is not meant to be. So move.
He said, ‘Want to go for a walk along the beach? There’s a full moon tonight.’
Hello? Weren’t we talking about you maybe moving to Golden Bay? ‘Sure, I’d like that.’ Huh? What happened to moving away from him, putting distance between them?
‘Grab a coat, then. We’ll cut through the properties at the end of the road. Hopefully the moonlight will be enough.’
‘Almost daylight,’ Sasha quipped, as she tripped over a large piece of driftwood at the edge of the sand.
Grady draped an arm over her shoulders and tugged her in beside him. ‘You’re supposed to watch where you’re going.’
‘Then I wouldn’t see the stars above or the tide rushing up the beach, tossing shells in front of it.’ Somehow her arm found its way around his waist. Walking on the beach with Grady brought back so many beautiful memories. ‘We brought the CD player down to the beach and danced the night away. You ran the cable for it from your house through the flax bushes to the beach. Anyone coming down to join us tripped over the cord and let us know they were coming.’ Giving us time to straighten ourselves up a bit.
‘We fell asleep on the sand and woke up when the tide came in, soaking us. Didn’t do the CD player any good.’
‘We went skinny-dipping after everyone had gone to bed.’
‘Except half my mates were already out here, doing the same thing with their girlfriends.’ Grady laughed; a deep, full laugh she hadn’t heard once since he’d turned up again in Golden Bay.
Warmth seeped under her jacket, stole through her heart. ‘You used to laugh a lot.’
‘We didn’t have a care in the world, did we? Thought life was wonderful and couldn’t understand how quickly and drastically it could change.’ Removing
his arm from her shoulders, he took her hand in his as they continued along the beach.
Sneaking a glance up at him, a smile curved her lips. His generous mouth that could kiss her blind was also smiling. This she had missed. Face it, she’d missed Grady and hadn’t been able to replace him, no matter how hard she’d tried. Swinging their joined hands, she let go of the tension that had been gripping her for days and made the most of walking in the moonlight with the man who’d stolen her heart so long ago.
They turned for home and Grady stopped, placed his hands on her shoulders and gently drew her closer. Her body leant towards him, bending slightly at the waist, or where her waist used to be. Her lips parted as her tongue slid out over the bottom one. Like she wanted to taste him.
She couldn’t resist him. It was beyond her. When his head lowered and his mouth covered hers she leaned closer. Inhaled that spicy man scent that was Grady. The scent that had been driving her nuts in her vehicle. The man who’d been waking her up, day by day, bringing her out of hibernation to feel again. To remind her of great sex, of love, of needs that had been shut down far too long. Her mouth opened under his, welcomed his probing tongue.