He held his thumb and forefinger out, almost touching. ‘A little. But you seemed to know exactly what you wanted.’
‘No regrets.’ Not one. Right, they’d got that out of the way. ‘Tell me about your time in New Zealand.’
He filled her in on where he’d lived and worked, and how well he’d got on with his cousin. ‘Have you ever been there?’
‘I’ve never left Britain.’ Not enough money in the coffers for travelling overseas. ‘I’ve been to Scotland to see where my grandparents came from. Loved all those mountains and lochs.’
‘You’re a stay-at-home girl? Or travelling not your thing?’
‘Angus wasn’t into holidays, preferred working on projects, and I guess it rubbed off. No point getting wound up about it when he’d never change his mind.’ Though now she questioned her willingness to sacrifice her own dreams for his.
Noah was watching her closely again. ‘I’ve been married.’
Her stomach lurched. ‘You have?’
His nod was abrupt. ‘Divorced two years before I met you.’
‘What happened?’
His mouth flattened, and for a moment she thought she’d gone too far. But he wouldn’t have raised the subject if he wasn’t going to tell her more. Then he shrugged. ‘Christine wasn’t who I thought she was. Looking back, I don’t think she ever loved me. She wanted the comfortable lifestyle I could provide and in return she offered to have two children in quick succession so we could move on with living the perfect, wealthy life.’ Bitterness mingled with anger in his voice, and when Stacey looked into his eyes she saw the same emotions there. ‘Like I wanted to have children in those circumstances, without any say in the matter.’
Did he mean he didn’t want children, full stop? Or not with his ex? ‘I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard on you.’
‘It’s fine. I’m over her. Just thought I needed to put it out there.’
Right. He was over his ex? He might not love her any more, but he hadn’t got over what she’d done to him. He was where she’d been the night they’d met. Her hopes for tonight and sharing her news dropped. This wasn’t looking good for her and Holly. He might not believe her when she said Holly was his. ‘Thank you for telling me.’
What else could she say? I’m here and I wouldn’t do that to you. Give me a chance to prove it.
Noah glanced at his watch. ‘I’ll have to go shortly.’
Already? ‘No problem.’ Glancing at the wall clock, she saw they’d spent nearly an hour here. The time had flown by, leaving her hyper and happy, and a little worried. Learning more about Noah was always going to come with pitfalls. Being with him hadn’t. The way heat was tripping over her skin had her wishing they could find another hotel room for a few hours. She so wasn’t ready to leave Noah, but she was a big girl. She’d get over her disappointment. She hadn’t said what she’d come to say either.
‘Can we do this again?’ How would he take the news of Holly? Until he’d said that about his ex-wife planning on having children in quick succession and hadn’t sounded too enthusiastic, she believed he’d accept being a father without too many problems. Now she wondered if she’d got that wrong, and what else wasn’t as she thought.
‘Absolutely.’
So he was still keen to see her. She exhaled slowly. That had to be good. ‘Great.’
‘I’ll walk you to the station.’ Noah stood up.
Brilliant. A few more minutes with him. Despite the children problem, she bounced beside him, like a kid who’d had too much sugar. ‘Thanks.’ Bundled up in thick jackets, they braved the cold air after the heat of the bar. ‘I can’t wait for winter to be over.’
‘It’s been a shock after leaving summer behind down under.’ Noah strode out beside her.
Upping her pace to keep up, she shoved her hands deep in her pockets, for warmth and to stop herself from grabbing his hand and holding him until they reached the station. ‘You wouldn’t think of going back there?’
‘It’s tempting, but I own family property here that I would never sell. Other people used my house while I was away and I’m now stuck with a massive redecoration project.’
The Bloomsbury house spoke of other-world wealth. No one lived there on a budget. Noah must come from a very wealthy family. Lucky for him. Though nothing like that came without responsibilities, like not being able to live in a country he really liked. His life was nothing like hers, and never would be. It would be great to have a spare few thousand pounds in the bank, but she wasn’t in need of a fortune.
From what she’d seen, money didn’t necessarily make a person any happier either. With her, Holly would get a grounding in basics such as working for what she wanted. Unless Noah didn’t have the same idea and gave her everything. Another thing to find out more about. These few precious minutes were hers to enjoy for herself. ‘How handy are you with a paintbrush?’
‘A what?’ He grinned.
‘That good? Fair enough.’
‘I’m a doctor. There are qualified painters and decorators to fix my problems while I concentrate on what I am good at.’ She waited. Was he going to reveal feelings about that night he wanted to follow up on?
Then he shook his head. ‘Another time.’
Her heart sank. ‘Okay.’
He touched her jaw, lifted her head. ‘Don’t worry, Anastasia. I’m not out to hurt you.’ His mouth covered hers briefly. Then he took her hand and continued to the station.
At the entrance they stopped, turned to face each other. Stacey gazed at the man who’d changed her life so much without realising any of it and felt comfortable with him. As a thread of warmth wound through her, she had to admit to another feeling—desire. Nothing had changed in that respect. The softening of her stomach, the tightness at her centre, the thumping in her chest—all the same.
How could she feel like that about a man she’d made love with three years ago and not seen or heard from since? Easily, apparently, if the way he made her feel special was an indicator. Did this mean there was more to her feelings than was logical? But it seemed love wasn’t logical, could come out of the blue and bang a person over the head like a thunderclap. Not that she loved him. But she certainly felt more for him than she’d have believed possible. He was under her skin now, and looked like he was staying there for a long time, if not for ever.
‘Anastasia? There was something else you said to me that night.’
She stared at him, hope flickering behind her ribs, her tongue moistening her lips. Did he mean what she thought? What if she uttered those words and got it completely wrong? What was there to lose? Her pride could take a knock. ‘Kiss me, please? Again.’
‘It wasn’t a question last time, it was a
demand.’ Noah’s mouth touched her lips, gently at first, then more demanding, taking over, holding her close, his tongue pushing into her mouth. Kissing her, embracing her.
Weak-kneed, she leaned against him for strength, all the while kissing back with a fervour that brought need cascading throughout her starved body. This was what she’d remembered, and longed for, over and over during the years when only memories had been real. This was why she’d moved on from her past and started looking forward. It was also why she’d never given up trying to find him—for her and for Holly.
But at the moment she relished being with him for herself. She kissed him again and again. This had given her Holly. Their daughter. It could give her a whole lot more if Noah was as invested in her as she was becoming in him.
Stacey paused, and immediately Noah raised his head.
‘Anastasia?’ He was smiling, his eyes light and sparkling. ‘We seem to connect the moment we’re alone together, don’t we?’
‘Alone as in surrounded by others dancing, or people dashing to catch a train? We sure do,’ she said with a grin. Leaning back, she stared up at him, and gathered her courage. ‘Can I see you at the weekend?’ The smile was diminishing, taking her heart with it. She rushed on.
‘If it doesn’t suit, that’s all right.’ She wanted to tell him now, but he was heading back to work, and to go with him so they could talk after he’d dealt with his patient didn’t sit comfortably. Besides, Toby was looking after Holly while her parents were out, and he wanted to go to see a mate when she got home. Another day would have to do, which wasn’t easy now that she’d made up her mind to get it over with.
Noah seemed to be considering his options, making her feel uncomfortable for asking in the first place.
‘I know you’re busy.’
He reached for her and dropped a kiss on her cheek. ‘Stop it. You should come to my house and we’ll have lunch.’
‘Put like that, how can I refuse?’ She smiled.
He answered, ‘By saying no.’
‘Are you already regretting inviting me? Because if you are, then please say so. But I do want to talk.’