Julianna checked her cell phone and saw a missed call from her brother Tom. It must’ve come in while she’d been sleeping last night. The 18-hour time difference made it difficult to coordinate phone calls but Tom also didn’t know that she wasn’t at home any longer. She’d considered coming clean and telling Tom everything but even as the words formed on her tongue, she choked them back. Tell Tom? Tell Tom that she’d gotten knocked up by the man who’d purchased her virginity in exchange for Tom’s treatment and an ungodly sum of money. She covered her face and drew a shaky breath. Yeah, that’s going to go over really well. Tom would blame himself and she simply couldn’t take that risk. No, as much as she wanted — no, needed — someone to talk to about this situation, she couldn’t lay that burden onto Tom’s shoulders. She couldn’t even call her friends. Julianna threw her hands up, irritated by her own melancholy and frustrated by the realization that she was no closer to a solution than she was five minutes ago. And
what was she doing with Miles? That was a bigger question. Was it wrong of her to accept his friendship when he clearly looked at her for more?
And why shouldn’t she enjoy Miles’ company? Even romantically? Was she attracted to Miles? Yes, she answered her own question, testing the boundaries of her thoughts on the subject, but it wasn’t the same wild intensity she felt toward Boston. Damn the insufferable man. Even in her thoughts, he intruded, pushing his way into her mental theater as if he owned the place. Typical.
Julianna fell back on the bed and rubbed her stomach, silently wondering at the fact that Boston’s child was growing inside her. Soon enough a basketball would replace her flat stomach. What would Boston think then? Would he be repulsed by the changes in her body? Who cares? She wanted to growl. It’s not as if she was going to let him near her naked ever again so it didn’t matter what Boston thought about her body or its subsequent changes. Miles on the other hand would likely treat her like a princess, but more importantly than that, with respect. Boston didn’t respect her. That much was apparent by the way he disregarded her feelings. She was simply a body he’d bought and paid for to use at his leisure and now she was his incubator as well. Fabulous. Wonderful visual.
“I’m sorry, Speck. You didn’t ask for this but if you manage to make it past the scary first trimester, you’re going to find that your daddy is even scarier,” she said to her stomach. What would happen if Boston stopped chasing her and actually started listening to what she had to say? As if he really cared about how she felt? Wish for the moon, while you’re at it. Boston didn’t listen to anyone but himself because he was a self-important asshole who just happened to be sinfully sexy and rich beyond anyone’s dreams. Bad combo. She should’ve walked away the minute he’d made his scandalous offer. Should’ve done an about-face with a middle finger hoisted into the air for good measure. But instead she’d dropped to her knees and given him a blow job. Yep. Her cheeks burned at the memory but a different kind of warmth curled around her insides and she shifted — no, squirmed — against the sensation. Julianna stifled a groan. She could still feel Boston’s fingers, pushing inside her, widening and stretching to accommodate the thick violation of his cock and she yearned to feel that fullness inside her, as Boston quickly pushed her to that tipping point within minutes. Julianna sighed. True, he was her first but she knew from the tales of her friends that not every man’s skill was the same. In fact, her girlfriend, Stacy, had pretty much warned her that her first time was going to suck balls.
“First of all, I don’t know why you’re hanging onto your V-card. It’s going to suck the first time anyway so you might as well get it over with.”
Julianna and Stacy had been killing time between classes when the subject had popped up. “It might not suck,” Julianna had protested. “With the right person, at the right time—“
“It still hurt like a motherfucker because no matter if the guy brings flowers and a ring, his dick is still going to be ripping through something inside of you. Sorry, girl, there’s no way to pretty that up.”
“Ouch. That sounds awful.”
“Oh, it is,” Stacy assured her, sparing no gory details. “The first time I had sex, I thought I was going to die. Literally felt as if the dude was pulling me apart.”
“Could it have something to do with the fact that they were fourteen?” Julianna teased, having known Stacy since they were in junior high. “I mean, maybe that was the problem. You were just a kid.”
Stacy gave her a look that said, don’t be dumb, continuing with a sigh. “Well, I don’t want to scare you off sex — because frankly, at this point, there’s probably cobwebs down there — but you need to just do it and get it over with. You’re in college for crying out loud. Time to become a woman, Jules.”
“I’m saving myself.”
“For what?”
“The man I marry,” Julianna answered, purposefully bumping Stacy with her shoulder because Stacy already knew that. “I want it to mean something, not just some quick, inexperienced poke in the dark at some frat party, okay? And why are you in a hurry for me to lose it?”
“Because the longer you hold onto your V-card, the more the gap widens between us. What are we going to talk about if we can’t swap sex stories? I mean, this is college. We’re supposed to be exploring our sexuality and making terrible choices so we get it out of our system.”
“Is that so?”
“Absolutely,” Stacy said with complete conviction. “You see it on the news all the time.”
“What do we see on the news?”
“Repressed sexuality brought on by missed opportunities earlier in life. Classic stuff. You don’t want to be a cliché, right?”
“So you’re saying if I don’t go wild and crazy in college, I’m going to…” she raised her brow and waited for Stacy to finish for her.
“You’re going to have a mid-life crisis at forty as you try to recapture your wild youth,” Stacy supplied, nodding as she exclaimed, “And before you know it, you’re seducing the pool boy. Or gardener. Or your son’s best friend!”
“Calm down, you perv,” Julianna said, appalled even as she laughed. “It’s not a matter of national security or a threat to my future sanity if I hold out for the right guy.”
“Well, maybe not but I just worry that you’re going to be really disappointed when you finally give it up. You’re not likely to see stars. It takes time and practice to figure out how to ring your own bell. You know?”
“I know how to ring my own bell,” Julianna said, still laughing at her friend’s perception of her naivete. Even though she hadn’t had sex, she masturbated frequently enough to know how she liked to be touched. Stacy linked her arm through Julianna’s and said, “I appreciate your, um, advice, but I think I’m going to hold onto my V-card for a little while longer. Besides, who has time to date? These classes are kicking my ass. Speaking of, did you study for the Psych exam?”
Julianna opened her eyes as the memory faded. Seemed a lifetime ago that she’d been that carefree girl whose biggest concern was cramming for finals and hoping to make enough money to cover her dorm fee. That’d been before Tom’s accident. After that, everything had changed.
And now, here she was. Her V-card was definitely a thing of the past and she was knocked up. A short laugh escaped. What a turn of events.
Well, at least Boston had known what he was doing because her first time…definitely hadn’t sucked.
-3-
Everything in him screamed to go after Julianna but he wasn’t about to chase after her when that other guy was hanging around, acting like the hero. Of course, Boston hadn’t exactly helped in that department but he couldn’t help himself around Julianna. Maybe she brought out the worst in him. He’d never been so consumed with another human being. Dare he admit that he was obsessed? But to admit that would be to admit that Julianna was the one with all the power in the relationship and he couldn’t do that. Boston climbed into his car and headed for the main part of town. He needed to find his center again before he could return to even footing with Julianna. Women were a dime a dozen. At any given moment, he could have a handful of women in his bed, begging to suck his cock or give him their ass to fuck. Money and influence were the most effective aphrodisiac in his experience. Maybe that’s what he needed. A good, emotionless fuck with a beautiful stranger. What would Julianna think of that? Would she care? There was a time when he’d imagined his life unfolding so differently — one filled with the happiness and simple joy of a wife and children — but Gigi had helped him to see that he’d been pathetically naïve. Women, at their core, were interested in what men could give them — either in the bedroom or in their bank account — and he’d learned that lesson well.
Julianna liked to pretend that she was different but the minute she’d accepted his terms, she’d proven that she was like all the rest. Julianna was no different than any woman, he told himself sharply when a small, protesting voice rose in his mind. It was the power struggl
e that was tilting him in the wrong direction, not the insistent whisper that it might be love. Love Julianna? How could he? She’d taken money for sex. That was the very definition of a whore, right?
A whore who’s having your baby.
He swore and pulled into a parking space, needing a stiff drink to drown the fucking nonsense in his head. He was turning into a whiny, weak-willed pussy. I miss her, wahhhhh. Why doesn’t she love me, wahhhh! Enough! The best cure for a hangover was a little hair of the dog. And as soon as he entered the open-air island bar, his gaze fell on the cutest little pet with delicious fake tits that overflowed her tiny bikini in an obscene manner that practically screamed, I like to fuck and I scream like a porn star while doing it. A slow, predatory smile spread across his lips as he moved toward her, intent on one thing and he wasn’t about to beat around the bush.
“Good afternoon,” he said, moving to stand beside the petite blond who was sipping a fruity drink and already on her way to a good time by the tipsy tilt of her coy smile. “You look good enough to eat.” He dropped his gaze suggestively to her breasts, letting his interest show. “Soft in all the right places. Can I buy you a drink?”
“And why would I let you do that?” she asked, clearly liking what she saw but enjoyed playing games. That’s okay, baby. I excel at winning. His smile deepened as she followed with, “What’s your name?”
Names didn’t matter to him. He’d forget all about her in the morning. After he’d thoroughly ruined her for every other man. The thought gave him a hard thrill and primed his libido. Yes, she’d do nicely.
“You first, beautiful,” he said, watching as the woman’s eyes dilated with subtle pleasure when he took control of the conversation. Oh yes, he had this woman’s number. She’d play hard to get but she’d give it up soon enough.