“If I knew the answer I wouldn’t be tied up in knots,” he grumbled. Wasn’t that obvious? “I know what the easy answer is but I can’t do that.”
“If the easy answer is to walk away then you’re lucky you’re not within slapping distance because I would totally whack you upside the head for being so dumb. Of course, the answer isn’t to walk away. The answer is to woo Shannon. You’re attracted to her and perhaps, with any luck, she’s still attracted to you. Make a grand gesture to show her that you care.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, use your imagination and I’m not talking about flowers.”
“I don’t know her well enough to know what she’d appreciate and what she’d hate,” he said morosely. “She doesn’t care about my money and in fact, uses it against me. How am I supposed to combat that?”
“It isn’t that she doesn’t care about your money, it’s that she knows you’ve used it to make your problems go away. Show her that you can do the work like everyone else and that you’re not just going to throw money at the baby. She needs to know that you’re going to be a true father.”
“I want to be,” he said. “But I don’t know how.”
“Well neither does Dillon but he’s excited to find out. You need to stop being so afraid of failing and just go for it. I think you’ll be a natural.”
“Yeah? Why do you say that?” he asked.
“Because at your core, you are sweet and sensitive and caring. What more do you need to be a good father? I know you’ll put the baby before your needs because you’re already doing it.”
“How do you know?”
“How many women have you slept with since landing in San Jose?” Penny asked, startling Nolan with the bold question.
“None,” he answered. “I haven’t been in the mood.”
“Let’s examine that for a minute: you, the perennial lover of women, haven’t been in the mood to chase down some strange tail. Either you have a fever or you’re growing up.”
He shuddered. “Don’t say that. Sounds like a death sentence.”
“It’s not,” she assured him with a light laugh. “It’s actually pretty awesome. Welcome to the Grown Up Club.”
“Well, don’t welcome me just yet,” he warned, thinking of his unfortunate sexual flop the night before. He knew at the time he shouldn’t have left with CeCe but he had anyway and it’d turned out embarrassingly awful. So, clearly, his judgment was still suspect. But he appreciated Penny’s insight. “My brother is a lucky man,” he said with a sigh and Penny chuckled warmly.
“No, I’m the lucky one. Now, go get your girls. I won’t accept anything but total triumph. Got it?”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, smiling.
“You can do this, Nolan. Trust in yourself,” Penny said.
Trust. Commitment. Responsibility — the trifecta of terror. He wished he had Penny’s faith. “Thank you, Penny.”
“You bet. Take care, Nolan.”
Nolan murmured his goodbye and clicked off. Woo Shannon? He knew how to get a woman into his bed but he had no idea how to build a solid foundation for a relationship. In the past he’d never cared to learn but now, he needed a crash course if he were going to make this work with Shannon.
Sweat broke out along his hairline. The stakes were high and as Penny said, winning was the only option.
So where to start?
Suddenly, an idea came to him and a slow grin spread across his lips.
Penny said to make a grand gesture — and he knew just the way to do it.
-7-
It’d been a long time since he’d tried his hand at cooking a decent meal but he was going to give it a try and hope his efforts didn’t end up a smoking mess. But more importantly, as he stood at Shannon’s doorstep, holding two grocery bags filled with cooking supplies, he hoped she didn’t slam the door in his face or worse, push him down the stairs. He knew either reaction would be warranted given how badly he’d botched their picnic. This time, he was determined to keep things light and friendly, without broaching a single topic that revolved around touchy subjects.
Shannon opened the door and immediately groaned when she saw him. “What now?” she complained, then eyed his grocery bags with open suspicion. “What’s that?”
“These,” he hefted the bags higher “are filled with organic vegetables and pasture-fed beef and some other assorted goodies that I’m going to — hopefully — transform into something edible with your help.”
“Is that so?” She crossed her arms. “And what makes you think I want you in my neighborhood, much less my kitchen?”
“I screwed up,” he admitted, going straight to the point. “I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s difficult for me to handle not being in control. This is my attempt at an apology — again. Only this time, I promise to do it right,” he added sheepishly. “I promise no talk of anything remotely touchy for either of us.”
“What will we talk about?”
“For starters, I hope it’s how to cook without burning because I’m starving.”
She sighed, shaking her head as if she knew she shouldn’t let him in but did anyway. “Fine. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but, c’mon on in.” Shannon moved aside and he walked past her into the tiny apartment. He tried not to notice how cramped everything was and how her furniture was worn and secondhand. He found the kitchen easily and started unpacking the bags. Shannon followed, scooping Aubrey up from the floor where she was playing, watching him with a perplexed expression. “I have to say I’m a little confused by all of this,” she said.
He turned to her, his gaze taking in the mental picture of Shannon and Aubrey. Shannon wore motherhood well. It was a wonder no man hadn’t staked his claim on her yet. He cleared his throat, determined to keep his thoughts pure and his motives innocent. “We don’t have to be enemies but I realized we aren’t even friends, yet. I want to change that. You’re the mother of my child and I want to get to know you.”
A smile played on her lips, plainly warmed by his honest answer and he returned the smile. “Do you think we could do that?” he asked.
She considered his request and then nodded. “Yeah, I think we can. Or at the very least, we can try. I’d like to get to know you, too.”
“Good.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “How about you start with the salad and I will try and figure out how to grill this steak in an oven.”
“Or,” Shannon said, grinning. “You could make the salad and I could fire up the barbecue I have on my patio. I’m a grilling queen.”
He couldn’t have been more relieved and he wasn’t afraid to show it. “Far be it from me to keep a woman from showing off her natural talents. Please, by all means, take over the meat detail. I will not consider it a slight to my manhood in the slightest to chop lettuce.”