Finally he says, "Why are you asking me about this now?"
"I called her—or I called the phone number that she'd given me once."
"I didn't know you had contact with her."
I feel myself flush a little. He had never forbidden contact with her but I knew he hadn't wanted me to be in touch. Still, she was my mother and I didn't have anything to feel guilty about—at least not in conjunction with her. "I had a little, but not much."
"I wish you would have told me, Annie. This is why secrets aren't a good thing. If you had told me you were in contact with her, I could have explained some things."
"Why didn't you tell me you were in contact with her?" I can’t keep the accusatory note out of my voice.
He sighs and answers me slowly, as if I’m a child and have trouble understanding. "I only heard from her sporadically. Would you have wanted me to tell you that she called and never asked about you?"
"No. Yes, I mean, I don’t know," I admit. I'm sure he didn't mean for his words to be hurtful yet the idea she never wanted to speak to me, never asked about me, causes my heart to tighten nonetheless.
He lays his glasses on the desk. "This is what I'm trying to protect you from. Your mother was never meant to have children. She simply wasn't suited emotionally for such a task. When she left, it was better for both of us, don't you agree? We’ve made a good team, you and I, and while I’ve made my mistakes here and there, we’ve knocked around quite well."
I nod numbly.
“Now that we’ve taken care of that, how was your librarians’ trip? I didn’t realize that Pippa Lang did not attend all the days with you. How did you get back into town?”
This is my opportunity to tell him I’m leaving and that I’m going to find a new job but the thing with my mother has left me reeling. Instead I blurt out, “Easy—I mean Van Beasley asked me out and I said yes. I just wanted to tell you.”
“Van Beasley?” he says sharply. “Isn’t he a member of that gang?”
“It’s not a gang, Father. It’s a group of men that enjoy motorcycles.”
“How old is he?”
“Twenty-nine.”
“What does he do for a living?” Now he’s the one peppering me with questions and I feel as if I’m under attack—or at least my decisions are.
“He works for the munitions plant.” What he did for Mallory’s Manufacturing, I didn’t know.
“Hmmm.” He purses his lips. “Why don’t you have him come over for dinner tonight?”
“Tonight?” I squeak. I don’t know if I’m ready for the two of them to meet. I cringe inside at the conflict of having Easy in my house with Father, who will undoubtedly criticize everything about Easy from his tattoos to the leather cut he wears to the motorcycle he rides and the “gang” he belongs to.
“Is that a problem?”
“No, no problem.” It’s a big problem because I’m just not prepared. It’s one thing to be brave when I have Michigan and Easy on either side of me and another thing when I’m here, sitting in this small chair in front of my father who I have strived my whole life to please.
“Here’s a few announcements for the bulletin. Why don’t you finish that up?” He’s done with me. I’m dismissed.
“Of course.” I reach across the desk and take the pamphlets.
“Annie,” he calls softly when I reach the door.
“Yes?”
“There are many temptations out there in the world. They don’t go away because you are older. They only get harder to resist.”
“Maybe I don’t want to resist them,” I mutter under my breath. To him, I say “I hear you.”
“Make sure that you do. You aren’t too old to put over my knee.”
“Father!” I say shocked. “I’m twenty-three.”
“Are you?” He shrugs. “You’re still my child, no matter if you are three or twenty-three and it is my duty and privilege to help you remember the Lord’s teachings.”
I leave him because at this point anything I have to say would only start a fight.
At my little desk outside of Father’s office, I pick up my cell phone and walk outside to call Easy. He might be working but I can leave him a message.
He picks up on the first ring. “Hey, baby, how’d it go with your dad?”
“Aren’t you at work?”
“Making a delivery to Mankato, sweetheart. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Oh, is that what you do for Mallory’s? Deliveries?”
“You could say that.”
“I guess I don’t know much about you two.”
“We’ve got plenty of time to share those boring stories. That’s not what’s important. What’s important is that you’re going to be in bed with us tonight.”
“I can’t, I mean. I haven’t told him that I’m moving out. I…I had a tough morning but I did tell him we were dating and he wants to meet you.”
“You want to tell me about your morning? See what I can do to make it better?”
“No, not yet. Later. I don’t want to talk about it on the phone. Can you be back in time for dinner?”
“Course. What time?”
“Seven?”
“Sounds good. Make extra so I can give some to Michigan. He’ll be at home, poor fucker.”
“What if I’m a terrible cook?”
“I’m still going to share some of that with Michigan. We share it all.”
His voice is full of laughter and promise and I finally feel some pressure easing off my stomach. “Good thing for you, I’m not a bad cook.”
“Didn’t think you would be.”
“Do I have that look? Like I’m good in the kitchen?”
“Baby, I know you’re good everywhere. But yeah, you’ve got the look of someone who is competent. You recommended the right book for me, remember?” Easy and I had officially met when he’d come into the library during one of the days I volunteered. He said he wanted to check out a thriller novel but I knew from the commotion that he was there to keep an eye on Pippa who was seeing the president of the Death Lords MC. I suggested a Lee Child book and he’d told me he’d read the previous ones. Stupidly I challenged him and he’d told me the plot of the last three. That was the first and last time I’d underestimated him.
“That wasn’t that hard.”
“No, but I am. Listening to your voice makes me hard. You sure you can’t get away tonight?”
The muscles between my legs clench and release and I do it a few more times just because it felt good and reminded me of what it was like when they were touching me. I can’t spend another night away from them.
“Yeah,” I say hoarsely. “I’ll come to you tonight.”
“Good girl.”
I hang up and turn to open the parish office door but it’s already open. I don’t remember leaving it open but maybe I did.
Chapter Fourteen
Annie
The plan that Michigan and Easy worked out was that Easy would court me. He’d come to the parish house, introduce himself and take me out for dinner. We’d continue like that until I got a different job and could move into my own place. The offer to live with them was still on the table.
I didn’t have much in the way of education other than my high school degree so I asked Pippa to help me craft a resume.
“I wish I could hire you full time here,” Pippa says as we work on identifying all my transferable skills. I realize after listing out all the things I’ve done for Father that I’ve got a little knowledge of a bunch of things. I can make newsletters up for the church but I don’t really understand the big graphic design programs. I keep the church books but advanced accounting issues are beyond me. I’m organized and a “self-starter” which Pippa says should go at the top of my resume, but I’m not convinced that those skills are going to set me apart from anyone else.
“It doesn’t seem like many people have full time job openings available here in Fortune. Lots of part-time jobs. Maybe I could work two or
three part-time jobs.” Father and I shared a car and if I moved out, I didn’t know if he would allow me to continue to use it. But I had savings so maybe I’d use that to buy myself a car. I had to be careful because I also needed it to pay rent. “I guess I don’t have to work in Fortune. Minneapolis is only an hour and a half away. There are a ton of jobs there.”
At the mall, there were ‘help wanted’ signs all over the place. Surely I could work retail.
Pippa shakes her head. “In the winter? The drive would be terrible. What would you think about working at Wheel’s Up?”