Ridiculous pride that kept her from admitting she was falling apart to Xavier and his doctor.
Gunter took her blood then her blood pressure, which he noted was elevated. He frowned and began asking pointed questions about her pregnancy.
She clammed up. The truth was, she wasn’t combative as a result of being kidnapped. She’d been born that way, much to her family’s eternal frustration. Her experience only gave her an excuse for it.
At her silence, Xavier turned from the window where he’d been standing in quiet contemplation. “Pass the readings to her specialist. She can determine if further action is necessary and advise a treatment plan. Request her doctor come to Lirona as soon as possible and stay for the duration of the pregnancy.”
“She has other patients,” Trella pointed out.
“None so important as you,” he stated with a humorless smile.
“Flatterer,” she tried, but her own sense of humor was buried beneath an onslaught of sensory overload ticking toward detonation.
“Sir, I’ve performed many deliveries,” the doctor argued. “There’s no need—”
“Sweeten the deal however you must. Our women’s health initiative is due for an upgrade, I’m sure. Expenses won’t be spared.”
“Very generous, sir,” the royal physician said more firmly. “I’m sure many Elazarians would benefit, but...” He cleared his throat. “Perhaps such an undertaking should wait until DNA results are received.”
“The results are for the Queen. I’m confident this is my heir. But I do have to inform her. Bella, please advise your brother we’ll be on the move again, but not for long. The palace isn’t far.”
That was when she should have said, I can’t.
She knew what kind of self-care was needed. A quiet, dark room. A sibling holding her hand, talking her down from her mental ledge.
She didn’t say anything. Her stupid, tender pride, knocked to the ground so many times, locked her teeth while the rest of her began a slow collapse.
Now she sat in the back of his sedan, gripping her elbows as the ghouls came for her. It was going to be a bad one. She could taste it. The sheer frustration of not being able to stave it off made her eyes sting. Her mind spun down ever more scary avenues. Dark, harmful thoughts crowded in, feeding the anxiety.
This is my life now.
There would be no escape from the attention. It would be worse. Harsher. More judgmental. All the things she had tried to avoid by keeping her pregnancy secret and withholding the father’s name were going to come true now.
The pressure in her chest grew worse, suffocating her, and even though her specialist had assured her from the beginning that suffering an attack wouldn’t hurt the baby, she was convinced it would, knew it. She was going to lose her baby because she couldn’t control these awful spells.
While Xavier watched her lose everything. He would reject her for being the disaster she was. Even if she managed to keep his baby and deliver it some weeks from now, he would take it from her. He might have her locked away.
She needed Gili. She took out her phone and gripped it so hard her hand ached. Where were Henri and Ramon? They wouldn’t let anyone take her baby. They would always keep her safe.
No. She couldn’t keep expecting them to turn up and save her from herself.
“Why are you breathing like that? Are you asthmatic?”
She shook her head and turned her face to the window, wanting to die because now he’d noticed she was off and was staring at her.
“I’ll ask Gunter if he reached your doctor.” He started to lean forward.
She grabbed his sleeve. “Don’t.”
“You’re flushed.” He touched the backs of his fingers to her cheek then her forehead, making her flinch. “Sweating.”
“It’s nothing,” she lied in a strangled voice, and was both relieved and horrified that her phone began to ripple with the heavenly notes of a harp.
It took two tries to open the call. When her sister appeared, she wasn’t in focus. Tears of homesickness and failure filled her eyes. “Gili.”
“I know, bella,” she sounded equally anxious. “I can feel it. Where are you? Still at the Prince’s chalet?”
“I don’t know.” The realization that she was in a strange land had been stalking her. Admitting it made it real and added to her terror. Her heart was so tight, she feared it was going into arrest. She clutched at the front of her shirt. “We’re driving. How will you find me if we’re moving? I’m so scared, Gili.”
“I know, fillette. Breathe. Count your oranges. I’m coming. See, I’m going through the door. Henri has been tracking you all day. We’ll always find you, you know that. Are you still with the Prince?”