Lily puts her half-eaten churro back into the box. “We wanted to wait until they were older. High school, at least.”
She’s taken the news with Moffy better than I imagined. Lily might’ve prepared herself for the moment he’d learn about her sex addiction, and when it arrived, it blew like the wind and not a storm.
Rose taps her nails on the iron table. “Maybe we can let the little kids wait that long, but the older ones are already finding out information before we’ve had the chance to tell them ourselves.”
The sun has almost completely fallen, darkening our surroundings. We’re quiet, and their minds click and turn rapidly.
Lo is the one to stand. “Moffy, Charlie, and Jane?”
Just three for now.
Daisy and Ryke nod, both at ease keeping Sullivan in the dark a while longer. Lily joins in, nodding decisively.
He already knows my stance and Rose’s, so he flicks on the patio lights and disappears inside to bring out the children.
Rose finishes off her glass of wine, eyes pierced. Our children may see us differently after this, but I’m content with a simple fact. They’ll learn our reality, the truth, and that matters most to us.
Rose raises her chin, my hand tightened in hers, and she looks to me with eyes made of fire and warfare. “Our children are growing up.”
“I would be more concerned if they didn’t.”
She glares at my lips. “I was attempting to be sentimental, Richard.”
“I believe we were speaking truths—”
She covers my mouth with her palm. My grin is extraordinary. She tries to murder me with her yellow-green eyes, but I’m unbreakable. And amused.
I put down my wine, just to pry her hand off my mouth. I lose time to speak. Lo enters with Moffy, his son in plaid pants and a Spider-Man pajama shirt. Jane is next, more ruffled like she was woken from sleep. Her collared, pastel blue pajamas are wrinkled, a sleeping mask on her forehead.
Charlie trails behind and stays leaning against the wall. My oldest son looks more interested in this event than every activity from the past few days. He stuffs his hands in his gray pajama pants, his plain white shirt ironed and crisp.
“Why us?” Charlie speaks before we do.
“Why do you think?” I return the question.
Charlie tilts his head in thought. “We only have one commonality. We’re in the same school grade.”
“That is a variable,” I say in agreement.
Charlie is deeper in thought, more curious. He shifts his full attention on us. To acquire Charlie’s attention to this degree might be even harder than acquiring mine.
Moffy and Jane sit side-by-side on a patio ottoman, my daughter stifling a short yawn. She sneezes.
“Bless you,” Moffy says.
“Thank you.” Jane gestures to the wine. “May I?”
“No,” Rose and I say together. Jane knows the reasons why.
“That’s indisputably fair, but just to prepare you, I may ask once more.” Jane sneezes and then smiles.
I don’t need any preparation, but it’s sweet of my daughter to believe I do.
Jane might appear more disinterested than Moffy and Charlie, but she’s not. Her mind travels quickly. She juggles topics, thoughts and actions like one has plenty of room for the other: ask for wine, be concerned, share in Moffy’s curiosities, and peek at the churros.
And smile at Rose.
And smile at me.
Lo returns to his seat, Lily on his lap. In seconds, our expansive view of the theme park distracts them—and also Ryke and Daisy.
Everyone looks outwards.
In the darkness, the castle is lit and glittering. I have no problem with this kind of fantasy for my children, but I don’t feel magic in the setting like Lily and Lo.
I do see innocence. Purity. It’s just at a distance, sentiments not attached to me.
“They should build a Neverland theme park,” Lily ponders.
Lo hugs his wife to his chest. “And we could stay there forever.”
“And never grow up.”
“You’re already grown up,” Moffy tells his parents with a fleeting smile. When his throat bobs, everyone focuses intently on Moffy, Jane, and Charlie.
Rose pulls back her shoulders. “We want to show the three of you We Are Calloway. You deserve to know more, and we trust all of you.”
“Even me?” Charlie wonders, as though he’s given us ample reason not to trust him. He believes he can wander as far as he wants to wander, but it’s an illusion. He’s restrained by society, and he’s restrained by his own self-beliefs. Don’t upset my mother.
Don’t hurt my brothers and sisters.
Don’t disappoint my father.
We grounded him for wandering from Lily and Lo. His punishment was a two-thousand word letter on the consequences of his actions before the morning. While three-fourths was satirical, he stated one sincere truth in the end.
When and where I go disturbs the ground beneath certain feet. Ones that are not my own. People I know, and people I love. It was not my intention, and now I see.
Signed,
Your wisest son
We trust Charlie.
Rose tells him, “Even you, my gremlin.”
Charlie begins to grin at the endearment.
Moffy looks between every one of us. “I want to know everything.” Resolve centers his gaze, green pinpoints that refuse to fissure.
“You will,” Lo nods, assuring his son.
“How much more is there?”
Years.
Lifetimes.
On a different occasion, half of us might frown. The other half might recoil. I’d always stay impassive, but tonight, in this moment, we all just smile.
Our histories may contain darkness, but there is great light.
I found love in that time. Love that extends to these five people.
“You’ll see,” Lo tells his son, and Moffy takes a breath, ready for it all.
Fireworks explode. Bright, glittering and sparkling above the castle, we all watch. Innocence. Purity. Vibrant colors flash across our faces, and my gaze drifts to Rose.
She turns to me. A rare, sentimental smile at her lips. I take it all in.
[ 60 ]
July 2027
Disneyland
California
ROSE COBALT
“Please let me.” Audrey speaks relatively clear for her age. She hikes onto her strawberry-pink suitcase, carrot-orange hair in a tiny braid, and she attempts to shut the luggage closed.
She’s horrible at this.
“If you must.” I raise my hands, watching her failure with a tortured heart. “If you need help, I’ll be in the next room.”
I leave Audrey be, and then pass an adjoining door, Connor inside. His wavy brown hair looks better today, and most days it looks too good. God. I’m complimenting him in my head.
What has Disneyland done to me?
I also blame the fact that he’s shirtless and folding my clothes. He lays every garment into my suitcase while I make rounds to all the children. I cross my arms, my eyes burning hot up and down Connor. Just watching him fold my clothes.
It’s sexy.
I could scoff, but it’s hard to deny. So I breathe in this fact. Connor Cobalt folding my clothes almost makes me wet. When he straightens up, his head turns, and he arches a brow at me, a smile lifting the corner of his lip. As though he’s known forever that I’m attracted to his folding, his hair, his abs—all beneath his words.
I walk further into the room like he does not attract me. “Keep folding.” I wave at him like he’s nothing to me.
“It’s still amusing that you think you can order me around.” Connor faces me, deserting our luggage for a moment. “Come here.”
“And who said you can order me around?”
Connor grins. “Rose.”
I don’t add the perfunctory, Richard. I march to the dresser and pretend to inspect the star-shaped knobs. I plan to
annoy him like he’s annoying me, but he knows just what to say to completely startle me.
“You asked me something years ago, and I never gave you an answer.”
My mind traces back, and I search for the long-lost memory. What did I ask? What did he not answer? He waits for me to question him, and then the moment from many years’ past jolts me. The tea party in Jane’s room.
When you were a teenager, did you ever fantasize about me?
I turn and face my husband, my neck tight. “Have you been waiting nine years with this information, just to use it as arsenal?”
Connor shakes his head once, his smile never diminishing. “No. I just remembered the moment yesterday. Jane was reminiscing about her tea parties, and it hit me.”
“And?” I cross my arms again, waiting. Nervous.
No, I am not nervous. I’ve made love with this man. I’ve made seven children and listened to his every word the way that he’s listened to mine. We’ve had war and peace, and there is nothing that could shake me.