“There is,” she agreed,
taking another sip. I braced my palms on either side of me and leaned down so there were only a couple of feet between us, but she didn’t roll her chair away, just looked up at me with those expectant gray eyes. “So prove yourself.”
I had my toe in the door.
“Right. Okay. I’ve been background checked so thoroughly I’m sure you could know my blood type if you wanted. I graduated from the University of Ottawa with not just perfect grades, but perfect attendance. That means I show up. I don’t walk away when I make a commitment.”
“Like your current commitment to beat the crap out of people?” she asked, tilting her head as she sipped the tea.
“Whoa. I’m a hockey player. I don’t just run around the streets of Seattle punching people.” That had never been my M.O.
“Are you telling me that you’ve never had a fight off the ice?”
My jaw clenched. “I’ve had one or two.”
She turned in her chair, reaching up to open a cabinet. The inside was decorated with pictures of Elliott—in some, Shea looked like a kid herself as she held her baby daughter. She tugged down a paper, and I cringed, seeing the bright red banner across the top.
“And is this one of the two?” She pointed to the split-frame front page, which boasted a picture of Connor, our power forward, with his sister over his shoulder, and me mid-punch right beside him as I took out a much smaller guy.
It was anything but flattering.
“Right. Yeah, see, that was her drug-dealer.”
“I don’t care.”
“And I was just trying to—wait. You don’t care?” This time it was my mouth dropping open.
“Nope. Reasons never sway me. Not when it comes to Elliott.” She sipped at her tea like we were discussing the weather, not my worthiness in her eyes.
“That’s. I…” I blinked. “I don’t have words.”
“You don’t need them.” She put the cup on her desk and leaned back in the chair. “Look, Porter—”
“Hudson.”
“I like you. I know Connor likes you. I know you’re a good guy. I’ve read your background check from when he was adopting Hannah. I also know that you were arrested for assault at fifteen, and it just got worse from there.”
“Did the report say why?” I nearly growled.
She swallowed but showed no other reaction to my change in tone. “No, and it doesn’t matter. I know it didn’t stick. Nothing you ever do sticks. You can beat guys up on the ice, or on the street, and you’re...Teflon. And that’s okay. I’m sure you have your reasons. But those reasons will never be good enough to bring that kind of violence around my daughter.”
“I would never hurt Elliott. Or you.” I willed my hands to relax, my posture to soften. Someone had hurt Shea. Her reaction wasn’t simply from being a social worker. There was history that I had to be sensitive to even without knowing the specific details, if I wanted to help Elliott.
“And I know that. I think. But I just can’t let her be around any level of violence.”
“I’d be a good mentor for her,” I argued. “She needs someone who can dish that sass back at her. Challenge her. Who shares her love of a sport that you don’t.”
Pink stained her cheeks. “I know she loves hockey. It’s not like I don’t monitor her web history. But allowing her to sneak in some time watching it, and thrusting her right into the heart of your...chaos are two different things. It isn’t something I can do.”
“Name one other person who could be a better mentor for her,” I challenged.
“Ruth Bader Ginsburg.”
I scoffed. “She’s a little busy, don’t you think?”
“You asked.”
“You’re frustrating.”
“You’re oddly insistent.” She tilted her head again, and my palms itched to feel the soft skin of her cheeks. To cup her face and kiss her blind. Fuck, I was even further from that fantasy than I had been when I’d walked in.
My fate with Shea had been decided the minute she’d read my file.
“I just want to help,” I said. “I like her.”
“And she likes you. Trust me. I’ve had about fourteen billion pleas from her to reconsider. But you can’t be serious, Porter. You’re an NHL star. I get wanting good press, but you can’t slap Elliott on an endorsement ad and think it gets you there.”
My jaw flexed once. Twice. I sucked a deep breath in through my teeth and let it out through my nose.
“You know about the endorsement deal.”
She quirked an eyebrow at me. “That you donated money to the Boys & Girls Club, named a building and get to profit from it? Yes. I know. And my kid isn’t part of that transaction.” She folded her arms under her breasts and gave me a look that said she wasn’t going to be swayed.
I hopped off her desk. “Right. Okay. I get that you see the worst in humanity on a daily basis. Dads who beat their kids. Moms who deal drugs. Neglected babies. Abandoned wives. I understand that your first instinct is to see the worst in people, and I don’t fault you for it. Hell, I respect you, Shea. I respect every single thing you do and know you give your job one hundred percent. You save lives. I just play hockey.”
“Porter, that’s not what I meant.” She stood, only coming up to my mid-chest in her little ballet flats.
“Hudson,” I emphasized. “I’m a person beneath that jersey. Behind those reports. So I’ll say this one time, not because it’s your business, but because I’m hoping you’ll reconsider so I can mentor Elliott. I was arrested at fifteen for beating the shit out of my alcoholic dad, who was going at my mom with a knife when I got home from practice.”
Her lips parted and her eyes flew wide.
“I have no regrets about throwing that piece of shit out of my life. Our lives. It saved my mother, my brother, and if I have to pay for that with a record you shouldn’t even be able to access because it’s sealed, then so be it. Second, I donated about eleven million for that building, which is less than I make in a year. A year, Shea. Did it secure me that endorsement? Sure. And when you finally realize that endorsement was a contract for a million dollars a year for the next five years, and you do the math, maybe you’ll reconsider.”
“I…I…” Her mouth opened and shut.
“I would never allow the press near me, or Elliott. Or had you not noticed that I don’t do interviews. That I didn’t do one at the Dorsal center?”
“I didn’t,” she admitted.
“I’m more than a jersey. More than these,” I lifted my hands, “which, yes, is why I was picked up by the Sharks. I protect my team. I protect my family. And if that’s still not good enough for you, then…” I shook my head. “Then I guess there’s nothing else to say.”
She deflated, which somehow made her eyes even bigger. “I just…”
Before she could stammer out another excuse, or tell me I still wasn’t good enough for her or her daughter, I opened my wallet, flipped past the pictures of my mother and brother, and pulled out a card. “I know you’ve made up your mind, and I won’t push you again. But just in case you change your mind, I think I’d be good for her.” Good for you, too.
Unwilling to even accidentally brush her hand when she obviously wanted nothing to do with me, I placed the card on the smooth surface of her desk.
Then I walked out.
Chapter 2
Shea
Subject Name: Melissa Carter
Age: Seventeen
Report: Has one-year-old son. Liam Carter. Boy’s biological father has multiple arrests for domestic violence and burglary. Melissa currently homeless after fleeing the residence with child.
A cold chill snaked down my spine as I read the case file. The kind of freezing ice that threatened to rob me of breath and thought, and despite sitting at my desk, I shot back in time.
Elliott wailing in my arms, not even a year old yet.
Cracked drywall in fist-shaped holes.
“Shea?” Grace stood at the edge of my desk, her long, dark hair hanging off h
er shoulders as she tilted her head at me.
“Hmm?” I blinked away the burning in my eyes, straightening my spine as I looked up at my friend and co-worker.
“You’re three o’clock is here,” she said, but the concern coloring her brown eyes didn’t clear. “You okay?”
Grace knew some of my history, though it took years of working together and endless coffee dates to let her in. Our daughters were instant BFFs, but I had walls around my heart that were hard to breach. Grace had earned my trust after she’d sat with me for nine hours in the emergency room a few years ago when Elliott had to get three stitches in her bottom lip because she’d busted it during a softball game.
“Yes,” I finally said, shaking off the memories that tangled in my chest. “This one,” I said, a bit more quietly, pointing to the computer screen, “reminds me of someone I used to know.” Not a complete lie, but this wasn’t us drinking wine on her couch. We were at work, and I didn’t need or want to let my past dominate my present.
She eyed the opened case file, then me, and pressed her lips together. Gathering enough but never pushing. Grace squeezed my shoulder on the way back to her cubicle. “We need a Taco Tuesday,” she said, settling back into her chair. Her cubicle was only ten feet away from mine.
“I could definitely go for that,” I said, standing and smoothing my shirt. The material was modest but hugged my curves in a way that made me feel both professional and a little sexy. Not that I was dressing up for anyone special—like someone who sporadically showed up to bring me bubble tea.
Heat rushed through my body at the memory of how Porter’s massive frame had filled my cubicle. The way his voice was soft, almost timid, as he’d made his case. I was still reeling from it. Still feeling that slight ache...
But I hadn’t wanted or needed a man in nine years.
“Make the reservation,” I called over my shoulder as I walked toward the waiting area.
“On it,” Grace answered.
And then I was walking through two sets of doors, my ballet flats clicking against the tiled floor. I scanned the faces waiting to be seen, and my heart lurched. It didn’t matter that a cranky one-year-old boy clung to her neck, I would’ve been able to pick her out even if the baby wasn’t with her. Because her face—I’d seen that emotionally drained, haunted look before. I’d felt the crack of pain and heat that came from gaining a bruise like the one spiderwebbed over her left cheek.