My stomach hit the floor, and I stepped back immediately, retreating until my back hit the island. “Ivy? Are you okay? Did I…” Fuck. Did I just do something she didn’t want?
Had I read the signals wrong?
Was she speaking honestly while I’d only been continuing the kind of banter we’d had since the beginning?
Fuck my life, did she really loathe me?
Her hands shook as she braced herself on the counter, and pushed off, her feet landing gracefully on the hardwood floor. “I can’t. Oh. God. I can’t.”
“Shit. Ivy. I’m so. God, I’m sorry.” There weren’t enough words for what I was. I hadn’t asked, hadn’t cleared it with her, hadn’t protected her feelings. I’d just assumed she’d wanted what I did.
She fumbled around the base of the island, finally retrieving her shoes, then snatching her purse and phone off the counter. She shoved the shoes under her arm, not even taking the time to put them on, then damn-near ran for the front door.
“Ivy!” I called out, wanting to chase her, to apologize until my tongue fell out of my damned mouth. Needing to take back the last minutes. But she obviously didn’t want to be here, and I knew I’d only make it worse, so I stopped at the threshold of the entry hall. “I’m so sorry,” I repeated. Was there another phrase? Something I could say that was more meaningful?
I’d never taken something a woman wasn’t willing to give.
She stopped at the door, looking back as she opened it. Tears sparkled in her eyes, that same fire pinning me in place with that angry glare.
“What did you do, Connor?” She asked, fury apparent in every word. “What. Did. You. Do!” She shouted the last, and flew through the door, escaping what had obviously been something she’d never wanted. Something I’d forced on her.
Fuck. I was huge. I knew that. We were alone, and I was stronger, and even in a position of power if I thought about how much she loved Hannah.
And I’d kissed her. Followed her. Caged her. Pinned her. Put my hands on her.
She’d never said yes.
If she didn’t hate me before, she really did now.
And I more than deserved it.
Chapter 8
Ivy
“I’m such an idiot!” I paced the length of Pepper’s living room, unable to sit still with the heat coursing through my veins.
“No, you’re not,” Pepper scolded, her eyes trailing me from where she sat with her knees tucked under her on the couch.
“I so am.” I halted and pinched the bridge of my nose.
I could still feel Connor’s lips on mine, still taste him in my mouth. Electricity crackled under my skin with tiny aftershocks from the sheer mind-blowing revelation his kiss had been.
Hot and sweet.
Gentle and hungry.
Perfection.
The kiss to end all kisses.
And I wanted more.
“Walk me through it again?” Pepper asked, jerking me back to the present.
I sighed and sank into the cushions, turning my body to face her, shame and all.
“We were in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner—”
“Whoa,” Pepper cut me off. “You did his dishes?”
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, we started talking—bantering like always—and then before I knew it…we were kissing.”
Pepper pressed her lips together to hide her smile.
“No,” I said, a dark chuckle on my lips. “You can’t look at me like that!”
“What?” She asked, the picture of innocence.
“You can’t, Pepper!” I huffed. “You have to tell me how stupid it was. How typically Ivy of me it was. Tell me that I couldn’t possibly be falling for Connor—a man I argue with almost as much as I fantasize about.” The last part slipped out in my word vomit, and I simply couldn’t hold anything back anymore. Especially not from Pepper. My sensible twin sister who would tell me to snap the ef out of it and end it before it started.
“I’m sorry, Ivy,” she said, reaching over to gently clutch my knee. “I can’t tell you any of that.”
“What?” I snapped.
She shrugged.
“Pepper,” I said. “I can’t do this again.”
“Connor is not Crosby.”
I flinched.
“He’s a good man,” she continued. “Sure, he has a past, just like every Shark…every person. But he’s decent and kind and funny. Why do you think he’s Eric’s best friend?”
It was my turn to shrug.
“Eric may be the first to help when it’s needed, but he’s slow to trust…like every superhero.” Pepper got that glow again, and I tried to not let it blind me. “And,” she said. “Connor is like his brother. Lukas too. And while Lukas is a totally insane lothario with a teddy-bear exterior, Connor is the solid foundation. The one both guys turn to when they need help with no questions asked. He’s never let them down, and he never will.”
“So,” I said. “What is your point? And why aren’t you telling me to run away? To leave the Sharks alone. That only an absolute idiot would get roped into another relationship with one.” My stomach sank with the words—somewhere between watching Hannah and spending too much time with Connor, I’d forgotten how I’d almost ruined Crosby’s career while he was breaking my heart. It didn’t sting anymore, though, and I knew that had everything to do with my fierce love for Hannah and my own ability to squash a broken heart in its tracks—after a few pints of salted caramel ice cream anyway.
What did you do, Connor?
My shocked words to him as I bolted from his house rang through my head once more. He’d ruined everything. It was one thing to have sexual tension that was never acknowledged, but now it was out there. He’d broken our back and forth, crossed a line we’d never come back from. And I hated myself for wanting more.
“My point,” Pepper said, cutting off my internal rant. “Is he’s not an asshole like Crosby. He doesn’t operate out of selfishness. So, he didn’t kiss you because you were there. He kissed you because he felt something.”
I rubbed my palms over my face. “You can’t think that,” I said. “We literally fight all the time.”
Though, to be fair, somewhere in the last few weeks our fights had changed. Shifted from pure snark and annoyance to something I actually looked forward to. Connor was one hell of a sparring partner and never gave me an inch. I loved the way he challenged me, pushed me, and had this total acceptance that I would come back at him full force.
His wild matches my wild.
Oh shit.
I liked him.
When the hell had that happened?
It was one thing to lust after the man—he was a Greek God who could fly on the ice and glide in the water—but to actually like him?
I groaned and buried my face into the cushions.
Pepper stroked my hair as I wailed into the couch.
“Bad time?” Eric’s voice was muffled from all the fabric around me, and I darted back, terrified Connor would be at his side like they so often were.
Lucky for me, the only company Eric had was a bag which looked like it was filled with four pints of ice cream.
“Perfect timing,” Pepper side, sliding off the couch and into his arms within the span of a blink. Like the pair couldn’t stand to be a foot apart for more than five seconds.
It was annoyingly beautiful.
My sister deserved it.
That glow. Those stars in her eyes. That totally not for public kiss Eric planted on her lips.
I cringed and hid my face again.
Eric chuckled, and Pepper thanked him for the goods.
“Be right back,” she said, taking the bag from him and heading to the kitchen.
The room was silent for about ten seconds.
“So…” Eric said, dragging out the word. “How’s work going?” He asked, innocently.
I tilted my head. “It’s okay,” I said. “I know you tell each other everything.”
He raked
his hand through his long red hair, sighing. “Well, Connor said—”
“You spoke to Connor!” I cut him off.
He jolted. “Yeah, isn’t that who you were talking about?”
“No! I meant you and Pepper tell each other everything.” I huffed. “But it’s good to know you and Connor do, too.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s been like thirty-minutes since I ran—left his place.”
Eric shrugged. “Family.”
Right. Pepper had just explained how close they were—like I hadn’t known—but still. I didn’t figure Connor would call Eric over this.
“What did he say?” I whispered.
Eric parted his lips. “Well—”
“Ice cream!” Pepper cut him off, sweeping into the room with a tray, two pints and two spoons atop it. She set it on the coffee table before us and winked at Eric. “Sorry, Iron Man,” she said. “Girl time.”
He raised his palms and backed away slowly. “Don’t need to tell me twice,” he said, pointing up the stairs. “Holler if you need me.”
And then he was gone, taking whatever Connor had said with him.