“I can’t do that to him,” I said. “We’re in lo—”
“It’s been six months,” he cut me off. “Honey,” he said more gently. “Be honest with yourself. Is the thing between you worth his future? Yours? Because if you don’t break it off...it will cost him the contract.”
I wetted my lips.
Nodding over and over again like he’d broken me.
Eric was worth everything.
Absolutely everything.
Even the pain that would destroy me.
“I’ll do it,” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. “Please, just don’t fire him. He deserves better.”
“I’m sorry, Pepper,” he said, reaching out to gently clutch my shoulder. “I’m so damn sorry. But this will pass and…we’ll find common ground again. Right?” His eyes darted between mine and Ivy’s, hope blistering the gaze.
“Sure,” I said.
“Pepper,” Ivy’s voice broke on my name as she lunged for me. “Don’t hate me,” she whispered into my ear as she hugged me.
I let out a deep breath and hugged her back.
“Never,” I said, and it was the truth.
I knew she was reeling from Crosby, from all of it. Knew she was trying to protect me before I got in so deep I couldn’t find the surface again, but damn it…she was too late.
They both were.
I let her go and spun on my heels, shutting Dad’s office door behind me. I’d just cleared the locker room when I ran into something hard and tall and smelling so damn good I wanted to burst into tears right then.
The image I’d seen earlier—of Eric’s family, their land, their farm—it pushed ice into my veins.
Because that’s what I had to be now.
Ice-cold.
“There you are,” Eric said, his hands on my shoulders. “You didn’t wake me,” he said, glancing over my shoulder toward the locker room door. “I told you we needed to do this together.”
I shook my head. “There is nothing to tell.”
“You did it alone? Pepper,” he chided me, moving like he was going to go explain to Dad, but I put my hand on his chest to stop him. “No,” I said, drawing his gaze, my chest aching. “You don’t get it,” I said.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, grazing his knuckles along my cheek.
I licked my lips, tasting the salt from my tears, and clamped my mouth shut. My jaw ached before I could speak again.
“Whatever it is we can get through it,” he said, his eyes wide, panicked.
“No,” I said, hating how clear my voice was. Hating that my heart was breaking right in front of him. “I had a revelation on the way over here,” I continued, knowing if I didn’t do this now, I never would, and then he’d lose everything. “I know we thought we were ready to tell him…but I realized…” I swallowed the tight knot clogging my throat.
“Realized what?” He whispered.
“That this…” I motioned between us. “It’s too much.”
“What?” he tilted his head.
“Too intense. Too fast,” I said, lying through my teeth. “It’s only been six months,” I continued, using Dad’s words against him. “And it isn’t…” I gulped back the tears. “Worth it.”
He fell a step back like I’d hit him with a sledgehammer.
It felt like one had knocked a hole through my chest.
Silence, thick and heavy and painful, settled between us.
“You,” he said. “You don’t want this?”
I bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood, and shook my head. “No. I don’t. Not anymore.”
“I don’t believe you—”
“It was fun, Eric,” I said, and he flinched. “But we’re kidding ourselves if we think this is for the long haul.”
He narrowed his gaze. Anger replacing confusion.
“You’re about to be one of the biggest Shark stars,” I continued. “And I’ll be in the box, watching you succeed, watching you get showered with awards and bonuses and…bunnies.”
“You know that isn’t me,” he snapped. “You know better.”
God, Eric. Don’t see through me. Believe me. For your sake.
Acid seared my heart, my vision clouding.
“You’re right,” I said. “I do know better. I’ve lived it.”
His massive body shook with adrenaline. “Don’t you dare compare me to Mason,” he snapped, and I recoiled. He’d never used that tone with me before.
But I deserved it.
It and so much more.
But for him, for his family, I would take this hit. Would take this pain. Because Eric Gentry was one of the good ones.
And he was worth everything.
“At least I wouldn’t have to hide him from my father,” I snapped right back, my heart splitting down the center with my cold words. With the look of betrayal that cracked in Eric’s eyes. “And how can I not compare you two?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest. Retreating from his intoxicating presence. “You’re in the same position. About to explode onto the world. And that’s great, Eric. It really is.”
“So, you’re punishing me for being good?”
“No,” I said. “I’m letting you off the hook. Letting us both off the hook. My job is at stake, too.” I shrugged like I wasn’t destroying myself. Wasn’t shredding my soul. “It was fun,” I said again. “But now it’s time to grow up and be serious.”
Something broke behind his eyes, and I knew in that moment he believed me. Believed I didn’t care as deeply for him as he did me.
“Be serious,” he repeated, his voice so cold.
He glared at me, shook his head, and turned his back on me.
I stood there, shaking, holding back a sob, as I watched him walk farther and farther away. The whole while my heart begged me to stop him.
To tell him the truth.
Tell him I would’ve done anything to protect him.
Even ruin us.
I swear I could feel my heart shatter into a thousand pieces.
And before I could even think about grabbing the tiny slivers to try and put together again one day…they set ablaze and turned to ash.
Chapter 20
Eric
Mason–fucking–Hall.
The picture was crystal clear, Mason helping Pepper down the steps at a black-tie gala two nights ago. It was noted that he was her escort.
How the fuck could she do this to me? It’d only been three fucking days since she ripped my heart out.
I crumpled the tabloid on Connor’s coffee table into a ball. The press had been all too happy to report on the return of their favorite hockey couple, and now that Mason had been offered a contract for next year to replace the retiring players cut through me like a knife.
I couldn’t fucking breathe. Couldn’t think. I swore my heart stopped beating. If a broken heart was the price for loving, then fuck that shit.
“No, I can’t right now. You know I have a game today.” I heard Connor snap.
“I don’t have any other choice!” A woman shouted. It had to be Connor’s sister, Jessica.
I looked back over my shoulder toward his entry hall and was greeted by a flurry of footsteps as Hannah rushed in, confirming my assumption. Her green eyes sparkled like the glitter on her unicorn shirt as she climbed onto the couch next to me.
“Hi, Uncle Eric!” She said, bouncing on the couch cushions with all five years of her weight. “My mama says I’m going to the game with you today!”
Another round of shouting began at the door, and I quickly tried to distract Hannah.
“Is that so?” I asked the urchin. “Does that mean you’re going to help me out in the goal?”
She giggled, the sound bright and open. “Uncle Eric, you know I’m too little!”
“Fine then. Leave me alone to face the giant hockey players all by myself.”
I heard the sound of the door shutting, and Connor appeared, running his hands over his hair.
“Hannah Banana, why don’t you r
un to the kitchen? I bought some of those yogurts you like.” He gifted his niece with a smile.
“Thanks, Uncle Connor!” she jumped off the couch and raced toward the kitchen.
“What the fuck am I gonna do?” Connor asked, tension radiating off him. “She doesn’t give a shit about Hannah, just wants to chase after the next asshole that’s going to promise her a high. And I can’t stop her. I can’t do shit but clean up after her mess and try to keep Hannah safe. Any other time, I could take her, but we have a game.” He checked his phone. “A game that we’re going to be late for we don’t leave in the next three minutes.”
“We’ll figure it out at the rink,” I promised him as I stood. “Maybe Bailey or Paige will be there. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of her. Worst comes to worst, I’ll slap a helmet on her and stick her in the goal behind me. You know nothing’s getting through.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll trust you with my team, my scoreboard, and my life, but not Hannah.”
The subject of our conversation popped her head in. “Sour apple is my favorite!”
“I know, that’s why I got them.” Connor scooped her up, grimacing at the hole in her jeans and her knotted hair before forcing a smile. “What do you say we go see a hockey game?”