"But why do you suffer?" Magnus said in frustration. "Your mother was correct when she said you have been loved all your life. If you would just let me help you-"
The boys expression shut like a door. He turned his face away from Magnus again, and his eyes closed, the light falling on the fringe of his eyelashes.
"I gave my word I would never tell," he said. "And there is not a living soul on this earth who can help me. "
"James," Magnus said, honestly surprised by the despair in the boys tone, and the alarm in Magnuss voice caught the attention of the others in the room. Tessa and Will looked away from Jem and to their son, the boy who bore Jems name, and as one they all moved over to where he lay, Will and Tessa hand in hand.
Brother Zachariah bent over the back of the sofa and touched Jamess hair tenderly with those musicians fingers.
"Hello, Uncle Brother Zachariah," James said without opening his eyes. "I would say that Im sorry to bother you, but Im sure this is the most excitement youve had all year. Not so lively in the City of Bones, now is it?"
"James!" Will snapped. "Dont talk to Jem like that. "
As if I am not used to badly behaved Herondales, Brother Zachariah said, in the way Jem had always tried to make peace between Will and the world.
Chapter Six
"I suppose the difference is that Father always cared what you thought about him," said James. "And I dont. But dont take it personally, Uncle Jem. I do not care what anybody thinks. "
And yet he made a habit of making an exhibition of himself, as Will had put it, and Magnus had no doubt it was deliberate. He must care what someone thought. He must be doing all this for a purpose. But what purpose could it be? Magnus wondered.
"James, this is so unlike you," Tessa said worriedly. "You have always cared. Always been kind. What is troubling you?"
"Perhaps nothing is troubling me. Perhaps I have simply realized I was rather boring before. Dont you think I was boring? All that studying, and the Latin. " He shuddered. "Horrible. "
There is nothing boring about caring, or about an open, loving heart, said Jem.
"So say all of you," replied James. "And it is easy to see why, the three of you, falling over yourself to love one another-each more than the other. And it is kind of you to trouble yourselves about me. " His breath caught a little, and then he smiled, but it was a smile of great sadness. "I wish I did not trouble you so. "
Tessa and Will exchanged looks of despair. The room was thick with worry and parental concerns. Magnus was beginning to feel bowed under by the weight of humanity.
"Well," he announced. "As educational and occasionally damp as this evening has been, I do not wish to intrude on a family reunion, and I really do not wish to experience any family drama, as I find with Shadowhunters that it tends to be extensive. I must be on my way. "
"But you could stay here," Tessa offered. "Be our guest. We would be delighted to have you. "
"A warlock in the hallowed chambers of a Shadowhunter Institute?" Magnus shuddered. "Only think. "
Tessa gave him a sharp look. "Magnus-"
"Besides, I have an appointment," Magnus said. "One I should not be late for. "
Will looked up with a frown. "At this time of night?"
"I have a peculiar occupation, and keep peculiar hours," said Magnus. "I seem to recall you coming to me for assistance quite a few times at odd hours of the night. " He inclined his head. "Will. Tessa. Jem. Good evening. "
Tessa moved to his side. "I will show you out. "
"Good-bye, whoever you are," said James sleepily, closing his eyes. "I cannot recall your name. "
"Dont mind him," Tessa said in a low voice as she moved with Magnus toward the exit. She paused in the doorway for a moment, looking back at her son and the two men who stood with him. Will and Jem were shoulder to shoulder, and from across the room it was impossible to miss Jems slighter frame, the fact that he had not aged, as Will had. Though, there was in Wills voice all the eagerness of a boy when he said, in answer to a question Magnus did not hear, "Why, yes, of course you can play it before you go. It is in the music room as always, kept ever the same for you. "
"His violin?" Magnus murmured. "I did not think the Silent Brothers cared for music. "
Tessa sighed softly and moved out into the corridor, Magnus beside her. "Will does not see a Silent Brother when he looks at James," she said. "He sees only Jem. "
"Is it ever difficult?" he asked.
"Is what difficult?"
"Sharing your husbands heart so entirely with someone else," he said.
"If it were different, it would not be Wills heart," Tessa said. "He knows he shares my heart with Jem as well. I would have it no other way-and he would have it no other way with me. "
So much a part of one another that there was no way to be untangled, even now, and no wish to be so. Magnus wanted to ask if Tessa was ever afraid of what would happen to her when Will was gone, when their bond was finally severed, but he did not. It would with luck be a long time until Tessas first death, a long time before she entirely realized the burden of being immortal and yet loving that which was not.
"Very beautiful," Magnus said instead. "Well, I wish you all the best with your little hellion. "
"We shall see you again before you leave London, of course," said Tessa in that tone of hers she had had even as a girl, that brooked no contradiction.
"Indeed," Magnus said. He hesitated. "And, Tessa, if you ever need me-and I hope if you do, it will be many long, happy years from now-send me a message, and I will be with you at once. "