I walked along the bar toward a large man up near the door. He was on the way to the restrooms, so I had a good excuse to pass him. I exaggerated my sway, just a little bit, making myself look drunker than I was. The guy had a goatee, a double chin, and a tiny sprout of hair at the top of his head. I noticed the Rolex first, then the way he leaned toward a much younger, much prettier girl and grinned at her with a creepy hunger in his eyes, and I’d watched him down three drinks since I’d started my first. He was rich, he was trying to impress a girl, and he was drunk, which made him ideal.
It wasn’t a complicated maneuver. Amber stared at me, wild and ready to get up and chase me down, so I hurried a little bit. I turned the corner toward the restrooms and bumped into the guy, grunting as I did it loudly. My hand slipped into the pocket of the jacket he had hung on his chair— found nothing.
“Shit, sorry,” I grunted, and slipped my hand into his pants pocket. It was tricky, but they were loose jeans, and he was having trouble swiveling toward me.
“What the hell,” he said. “Hey, man, come on.”
Pay dirt. I found his wallet, pulled it out, and slipped it into my own pocket, faster than anyone would notice. I held up my hands and backed off. “Sorry, pal, sorry about that.” I slurred a bit, selling it.
He gave me a disgusted look, and for one second, I thought he might decide to be a big man and step up in front of his date—but he shook his head.
“Be careful. You okay?”
“I’m good. You good?”
“I’m fine. Have a nice night.” He turned away and I heard him already talking to that girl, explaining how he could’ve taken a guy like me, but didn’t need to start a scene to be a man.
I went to the bathroom, grinning the whole time, then came back out a minute later and rejoined Amber.
“You’re insane,” she said.
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“Seriously. What was that?”
I put the wallet on the bar top. It was dark leather, stained from years of use. “That’s what it was.”
She stared then snatched it away and held it down in her lap. She went through it, sucking air through her teeth. “There’s like a few hundred dollars in here.”
“I know. Guy’s got a Rolex on. I was tempted.”
She glared at me and shoved the wallet into my hands. “Give it back.”
“Aw, come on, let’s at least take some money.”
“Ren.”
“Fine.” I ginned at her and leaned up against the bar. “In a few minutes. Tell me you don’t think that’s impressive.”
She let out a frustrated sigh, but she smiled. “It was a little fun to watch. Okay? You happy?”
“Very,” I said, grinning. “See, you don’t hate guys like me. You just hate assholes.”
“Which is what you are.”
“Incorrect. I’m a delightful thief.”
“That moonlights as a thug.”
“And a bodyguard, but yeah, I got your meaning.”
She rolled her eyes. “Come on. Give the wallet back and let’s eat something.”
“How about this. I give the wallet back, and you promise to tell me more about yourself.”
She gave me an odd look then, and I knew I had her—mostly because I really did want to learn more. It wasn’t just some play for her, wasn’t some game.
I was interested. I was hungry.
“Fine,” she said. “Now go. Be good.”
“Always am.”
Giving it back was easy. I walked past the guy, then stooped over and acted like I’d found it on the floor. He gave me an incredulous look, then had the gall to check all his money right in front of me. I plastered a smile on my face and leaned in as he did it.
“Don’t worry, it’s all there. Pretty bad manners, counting that baby stack in front of me, huh?” I winked at his girl then left before the asshole could say something.
I sat back down, asked for menus, then looked at Amber. She looked right back and let out a long, put-upon sigh.
“All right,” she said, spreading out her hands. “You got me now. What do you want to know?”
“Let’s start with your earliest memory, and we’ll go from there.”
“Ren—”
“You can tell me about your first period, maybe you first boyfriend—hey, are you still a virgin? You know what, don’t answer, I’ll find that one out myself.”
She sighed, squeezed her eyes shut, then laughed as the bartender dropped menus in front of us and stalked off to help someone out.
I spend the rest of the night asking her questions about herself, and finding that I wasn’t getting bored. It was rare to find someone that held my attention like that, even though she pretended like she hated me. I could tell she liked it though, liked my jokes, my attention.