I feel like Bella Swan after Edward leaves. I never understood why she acted like that, why she was frozen in the one place he would be strongest in her memory, her bedroom. But now I get it. It’s because she just couldn’t believe he was ever in her life.
I can understand it.
I feel it right down to my very soul.
And I don’t know how to get through it.
Chapter Eight
JD
“James Dylan.” The deep growl of the man who is here to welcome me comes from behind me. When I turn to regard him, I straighten my spine. He looks like a man who doesn’t take shit. Even though I’m still reeling from the past twenty-four hours, I know I need to get my shit together, or I’ll be sent packing before this shitshow has even started.
“Good morning, sir,” I greet him, noting his crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes. He’s dressed in his uniform with medals adorning his chest. The man before me served with my father way back, and even though Dad left the navy after only four years, Captain Renard is still here, doing his duty.
“It will be good to see another Montagu in uniform once you’ve started the program. But I have to remind you, it doesn’t matter what your name is, who your father is, you’ll be treated just like any other recruit. Do you understand me?” He regards me all dressed up, and I don’t know why, but pride fills my chest for a moment before the searing agony takes its place.
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” I respond with a respectful nod. I never saw myself here. Ever. When my father agreed to let me go to Jackson and see if I was able to get a job with Cole Security, I was over the moon. And now that I’m here, I feel like a child being punished by his parents for misbehaving.
“Are you ready for this?” he asks in a gruff tone. When they informed us about the training we were about to embark on, I knew I was in for it.
I want to say no, to tell him I’m not meant to be here. That I should be back home in New York, but if I said something like that, my father would hear about it.
“Yes, sir.” I was already informed of the strenuous training I have to look forward to. But even with my body here, having to go through this, my heart and mind are a million miles away.
On the flight here, I told myself I’ll complete my basic training, and then talk to Dad to see if he’ll allow me to come home. Perhaps if I can stick it out for that long, he’ll appease me. But that still means I’ll be away from Autumn for far too long. It feels like a lifetime. But I trust my girl. Once this shitshow is done, I will go back and claim her. She knows I love her, and I will make sure she knows it for the rest of her life.
Obeying my father’s wishes is one thing, and completing my training will certainly make him happy, but I didn’t agree to anything more than that. The moment I’m back in New York, I’ll get my girl, and we will head to Virginia where I can meet with Jackson.
“Grim will show you where you’re meant to go. He’ll talk you through everything,” Renard tells me. “Don’t disappoint, Montagu. This is something I know your father will be proud of. And if you feel like a pussy and you want to run home, then you tell me.”
“I’m here, sir. I’m not leaving,” I tell him, keeping my shoulders squared. Either he wants me to fail, or he’s ready to send me packing. My father’s friend will, of course, be keeping an eye on me. I’m sure Dad’s filled him in about what I’m supposed to go through, and I don’t doubt Renard will ensure I’m put through my paces.
I look over at Grim. The man looks like a fifty-ton block of cement.
“What’s your name?” he questions, looking at me as if he’s ready to toss me over his shoulder and fling me for miles.
“JD.” I offer my hand, which for a moment, I’m sure he’s going to ignore, but seconds later, he takes it, and we shake. His grip is tough, serious, and I can’t help but feel comfortable in his presence.
“So, what brings your skinny ass here?” This time, he chuckles. It’s strange to see someone who looks like that laughing. He looks formidable rather than friendly.
“My dad thought I needed toughening up because I didn’t obey his rules,” I tell Grim as he leads us through the grounds and into a building which looks like I’ll be missing a lot of creature comforts while I’m here.