Autumn swallowed, not expecting any of those words to come from him. He just said something that proved who he really was, too.
Maybe it was only to make her feel better, to help her feel like a woman again, instead of an object. But by doing so, he revealed more about himself than he knew. Something he probably never shared.
But he had with her.
“Can you kiss me?”
His head jerked back, and it took him a second to answer, “Yeah, baby, I can kiss you.”
“I can’t do anything more than that. I just don’t want... I’m afraid to go backward.”
“Won’t let you go backward.”
“But after that little speech, I need to kiss you.”
“Taste like pot and booze,” he reminded her needlessly.
She smiled even though he might not be able to see it. “That’s you.”
“Yeah, baby, that’s me. Will always be me. Can’t see that ever changin’.”
Was he warning her? She had already decided to leave after the baby was born, to no longer be his burden, to get back her own life, to not rely on anyone else. She also wanted to get as far away from the Shirleys as possible.
But right now, she had to get through the next eight weeks. She had plenty of time to make a plan. Luckily, every day her thoughts got clearer. And she remembered where she had been headed in life before she hit this huge speed bump. She needed to get back on that path.
He moved off her and to her side, helping her turn with a hand on her hip. And when they were face to face again, they stared at each other through the dark. “Gonna kiss you now.”
“Okay.”
“Just a warnin’, kissin’ you ain’t gonna help the issue with my dick.”
She pressed her lips together. “I understand.”
“Gonna leave it to you how far you take it. Liked you touchin’ me. Liked touchin’ you. But this is all you, baby. You saw my back. You know I can take whatever torture you give me.”
“I don’t want to torture you.”
“My dick bein’ hard and not fuckin’ you is pure fuckin’ torture.”
At least he was being honest. “Sorry.”
“It happens. Might get outta bed quick. If I do...” He let that hang but she got his meaning.
“Okay.”
“Okay,” he whispered, digging his hands into her hair again and pulling her face to his.
Then he kissed her. Not just the press of lips from earlier. No, this kiss was deeper, more thorough, with open mouths, mingled breaths and tongues touching. Exploration and discovery.
She searched her mind to see if anything was rushing forward.
There wasn’t.
Nothing existed but Sig and his kiss.
It was gentle at first, until it wasn’t.
He took complete possession of her mouth, making her breath catch. When he felt it, he tried to pull away, but she quickly wrapped her hand around the back of his head and kept him there.
He was trying to swallow her whole. Inhale her completely.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had been kissed. Especially like this. It had been forever.
Actually, maybe even never.
This wasn’t a kiss, it was much more.
She was surprised when her breasts began to ache for his touch and her pussy began to pulse and get wet.
She was pleased to find she could still react to the right touch, the right man.
But she wouldn’t risk taking it much farther. Not tonight.
She also couldn’t ignore how much she wanted this man. And it was so unexpected. With that hope was also worry that if she let this continue, it might be hard to leave in a couple of months.
Maybe she should go stay with the Brysons.
Because leaving would be so much harder, if in the next few weeks she fell in love with him. A man who came into her life so unexpectedly and for the wrong reasons. A man she never would have met under normal circumstances.
As he continued to kiss her, his hands stroked her back, her ribs, her hips, sometimes skimming just lightly over her ass before heading back up.
He twisted his head away, panting, “Can’t, Red. At my limit. Wanna be inside you too fuckin’ bad. Strugglin’ not to flip you to your back and just fuckin’ take you. Just wanna be honest. Let you know why I gotta stop. ‘Cause if we don’t stop now, ain’t gonna be able to. Don’t wanna become the animal they were. Wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. Never wanna fuckin’ hurt you.”
“Okay,” she breathed, doing a little panting of her own. She closed her eyes, wishing they could take it further, wishing she could be sure she wouldn’t have a bad reaction. Maybe they could go slow. Eventually work their way toward that.
Because in truth, she wanted him to flip her onto her back and take her, too. But, again, she was afraid of taking that positive step and turning it into a negative. Sig deserved much better than that.