It feels like forever since I’ve held her. As soon as I park the rental car, I head into the building and straight to the front desk. I walk with purpose. I’m not one to be trifled with.
“Can I help you, sir?” asks a woman behind a desk.
“I’m here to see Bailey Jameson.”
“Visiting hours—”
I hold my hand up and cut her off. What this woman doesn’t realize is my donations to this place keep it running. I have spent a fortune to make this the sanctuary what it is after Alexa died.
“I’m here to speak to Dr. Roberts.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
I take a deep breath. This woman has done nothing to me other than prolong my seeing Bailey, but that’s not her fault. She’s only doing her job. The truth is, I should have called first.
“Please tell her Drew Lawson is here to speak with her.”
Her eyes narrow, but she nods as she picks up the phone.
“Dr. Roberts, there is a Drew Lawson who wishes to speak to you.” She’s quiet for a minute before her head bobs. “Yes, yes. I understand. Very well. Of course, ma’am.”
When she hangs up the phone, she looks up at me. “Dr. Roberts is ready to speak with you if you can follow me.” She stands and walks around from behind the desk.
Her heels click on the marble floor as she leads us through a door and into another room. This room I have been to before. It’s floor-to-ceiling glass and faces the gardens.
“If you can just take a seat, she will be right in.”
I nod before sitting. “Thank you,” I say, as she walks out the door.
In silence now, I try to figure out what I will say to Bailey. The sound of the door opening stops my train of thought.
I turn to see Dr. Roberts approaching. “Mr. Lawson. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know. I’m here to see Bailey.”
Her eyes go wide. “That’s not possible. She’s only been here for a week. Although she is allowed visitors—”
“Please,” I say. I lift my hand and run it through my hair. “I wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t imperative.”
She looks at me. My appearance must be alarming because she inclines her head. “I will see what I can do. I will ask her if she wants to see you.” She turns to leave.
I stand when she’s out the door and start to pace.
My feet stalk back and forth across the space. I start to count my steps before I hear the door open a few minutes later.
I expect to see Bailey, but when I see the nurse, my heart drops.
“I’ll take you to see her.” She smiles at me. I let out the breath I didn’t even realize I’m holding.
55
Bailey
The door to my room opens, and Dr. Roberts walks in.
I’m instantly on edge. I’m not sure why, but something seems different about her posture.
“Bailey, this is highly unorthodox, and I understand if you say no, but . . .” She pauses, which makes my stomach tighten. “Drew Lawson is here to speak with you.”
Drew.
Drew is here to talk to me.
My heart hammers in my chest. It feels like it will explode. The doctor is speaking to me, but I can’t hear her words.
I take a deep breath. It’s one of the things I have been learning to do since coming here, and once I’m present again, I address the doctor.
“I’ll see him.”
I’m not sure what he has to say, but it must be important.
“Would you like to follow me?” she asks.
“Lead the way.” I try to joke, making light of the situation. Maybe then it wouldn’t feel like I was drowning in nerves.
Inhaling deeply, I will myself to calm, and when she finally leads me to an outdoor patio, I think I might faint when I see his back.
He’s facing the grounds, but when I open the door and step outside, he turns to face me.
He looks the same, but different.
Handsome as always, but now he looks almost unkept. Disheveled. He looks tired too. Dark circles and shadows adorn his eyes. His five o’clock shadow is almost a beard. It looks like he hasn’t slept in days, either.
“Drew.” I step closer. “What are you doing here?”
I don’t mean to come off aggressive, but he said goodbye. I said goodbye.
“I needed to talk to you.” He looks rattled, and I can’t help the way my heart squeezes.
He gestures to the table, and I make my way closer and sit.
He sits across from me, which feels too close right now. I’m a live, exposed wire.
“I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, not understanding. He already explained what happened with Monica . . . unless…
“What? I don’t—”
“I’m sorry for doubting you. I’m sorry for everything.”
“You’re making no sense.”
He stands and starts pacing. Now I’m even more on edge.
“I-fuck—I don’t even know how to say this . . . You didn’t do anything wrong.”