Chapter 1
RYAN
“Will Joe be there?” I asked my sister as I watched Gil work at adding the new lock and second deadbolt to my apartment door.
Shaw sighed heavily, causing the phone line to crackle. “No. He said he’s got a meeting during the holidays that he can’t miss. Who arranges a business meeting over the New Year?”
Apparently Joe.
Somehow, I didn’t think he was telling the truth.
My little sister, Shaw, had called to ask me if I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with her and her husband, Dex, at a cabin in Lake Tahoe. Dex’s dad Joe knew the guy who owned the place, and he’d offered Joe the cabin over the holidays for free. He’d decided not to use it but had said Dex and Shaw should and invite a friend or two to go with them.
“Dex is pissed. He wants to spend New Year’s Eve with his dad, you know. It’s his dad’s year.”
Dex alternated the holidays with his parents since they separated when he was only four years old.
“Well, I’m in.” Hell yeah, I was in. The only reason not to be was Joe, and he wouldn’t be there.
“Great!” My sister sounded relieved. “I did not want to leave you alone.”
She’d said the same about Christmas and because I didn’t want her worrying about me, I’d spent an awkward few hours with her, Dex and Joe until I feigned feeling ill and left early.
I regretted leaving. But not just because I’d left my sister early on Christmas.
No, I regretted it for an entirely different reason altogether.
But alone on New Year’s Eve? “I would have been fine,” I lied. Maybe four days ago I would have been fine. Not now. Not after what happened.
Gil packed up his tools, shooting me a look that said, ‘I’m done’.
“Sweetie, I’ve got a call coming in I need to take. Call me later to discuss the details, yeah?”
“Yes!” Shaw yelled excitedly. “Wait until you see this place.”
We hung up and the lack of her voice suddenly made me feel lonely and exhausted.
Gil gave me a disapproving look. “You didn’t tell her?”
I shook my head. No way. It was my job to look after Shaw, not the other way around. She might have gotten married at the crazy age of nineteen, but she was still my baby sister and still mine to protect. Even from worrying about me.
“Sounds like you’re planning a trip together. How are you going to explain the shiner?”
I tentatively touched my bruised cheek. “Walked into something.”
My building manager rolled his eyes. “That’s original.”
“Is it done?” I asked, not wanting to talk about it. I’d done all the talking I needed to do with the cops. And it was technically still the holidays. I would not let this ruin my favorite time of the year.
“All done.” Gil handed over a new set of keys. “Like I said, the co-op board is going to move their asses on the new security system at the front entrance.”
I nodded even though I was thinking ‘too little too late’.
Gil had been riding the co-op boards asses for years about the cheap entrance system that continually broke. Most of the board didn’t live in the building but rented the apartments out, so they weren’t invested in the daily maintenance of things like those of us who lived there were. It was just my luck that the entrance system had broken this past week and Gil hadn’t gotten around to fixing it. That was the last time I’d ever choose a first-floor apartment just because I wanted to live in a certain area.
Seeing the guilt flicker across Gil’s eyes, I shook my head. “No. Don’t do that. Not your fault.”
“Yeah.” He exhaled heavily and pulled open my apartment door to leave. “You call me if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you.”
As soon as he left, I locked the door and slid the dead bolts home.
Leaning against it, I stared into my small apartment and wished like hell it was New Year’s Eve already and I was on Lake Tahoe. My little sanctuary had become a place I feared.
And I hated that.
I hated that someone could do that to me.
A four-foot Christmas tree sat in the corner of my cozy-sized open-plan living area. I’d twined fairy lights over the too many bookcases that filled the small room. A wreath hung on the wall above my largest radiator. I’d replaced my oven mitt with a Christmas one and hung it over the oven door handle. My Christmas tea towels were folded on my small kitchen counter. A Santa Claus propped up on the breakfast bar near the wall in case he toppled.
My place looked cozy and warm.
But if you knew better, you would see the tree was a little squished because I’d knocked it over a few nights ago. My glass coffee table with the bowl of glitter speckled acorns and furry snowballs was missing after we annihilated it in the struggle.