"It's a question," I say. "What is my name?"
He stares at me blankly.
"Are you always this charming to women?" I ask him.
"I'm sorry," he says, and a light goes out of his eyes.
My ego is bruised but I'll survive. I liked to think that I’d made a big impression on him as he had on me. That wherever he was, he laid awake at night remembering our night together. I swallow my hurt feelings. I’m an adult now, I remind myself. I’ve handled a lot of things since he left. Besides, I don’t really want to push him away. I make a decision fast.
"It’s Lexi and yes, we can have a drink after work," I tell him, and he grins.
I have no intention of going for a drink with Ace but something in me wants him to see his daughter. I don’t know what I'm hoping for. I wish I were strong enough to just ignore him until he goes away. I know that I’m just setting myself up for disappointment. Ace doesn’t do relationships, let alone fatherhood. It doesn’t matter what I tell myself.
Two hours later, we walk out of The Alma together. Ace assumes that we'll have a drink together at my place. I don't correct him.
"Shall we take my car or yours?" he says.
"Follow me," I tell him.
I can easily leave my car in the parking lot and ride with Ace. It'll be safe, but I need time to think. I've made so many mistakes in my life, but I've never made one mistake where Luna is concerned. I love that little girl with all of my being, and I can’t afford to make any mistakes.
Ace follows me closely as we drive home. Vanessa is a nurse and usually works the night shift and during the day, she babysits Luna. She's awesome and I couldn’t have done it without her. We still live in the same semidetached house we grew up in.
It's old and dilapidated but it’s ours and it’s home.
I park the car outside the house and hurry to Ace's car before he gets out. I don't want him to meet Vanessa before I have a chance to tell her my plans. If you call them that.
I lean into his window and inhale his woodsy scent. "Give me a minute, will you," I tell him sweetly. "I want to see if my sister and my niece are at home." I stammer as talk.
It’s not exactly a lie. Vanessa helps out so much, it’s almost as if Luna has two moms. He frowns as his plans dissolve before his very eyes.
“I help raise my niece.” I’m not a good liar.
"You raise your sister's child?" he says.
I shrug. "Yes." I lean in to whisper into his ear. "She has problems." If Vanessa heard me, she would clobber me. My sister is one of the most stable people I know.
"Oh," he says.
"I'll be back in a bit."
I sprint up to the front door and push it open. I find Luna and my sister in the kitchen. They are perched on kitchen stools drawing. I go straight to my girl and gather her in my arms. She automatically wraps her hands around me and I hold her tightly.
"Everything okay?" Vanessa says, tuned to my moods as always.
"Not really," I tell her and kiss Luna’s forehead. "How was your day, sweetheart?"
"Draw," she says and smiles sweetly before going back to her coloring.
"What happened?" Vanessa asks, a note of panic in her voice.
"Nothing bad," I reassure her quickly. "At least not that bad." I inhale and search for the right words. "Guess who is outside?"
Her eyes widen. If I wasn’t distressed, I’d giggle. Vanessa is dramatic.
"Who?" she whispers, staring toward the window. “Mom?”
“No.” I should have known she would guess Mom. Mom left with a boyfriend years ago. Nothing new there. She’d done the same thing when Vanessa was in high school.
Vanessa never stopped hoping that Mom would come home any day. She’d called once and left a drunken message saying she and her boyfriend were on a road trip. After that call, I refused to think about her at all. She didn’t deserve my time or thoughts.
I gesture at Luna. "Dad."
She clamps her mouth. "You're kidding!"
“No, but I haven’t told him," I tell her quickly. "And I don’t intend to. Not just yet.”
I’ll give Ace a chance to know Luna but first, he has to prove himself. He has to show me that he won’t take off when the mood strikes him. I don’t have a lot of hope that he’ll stick around long enough for me to see what kind of a dad he is.
“I told him she’s yours," I whisper the last sentence. I hesitate before telling her the next bit." I sort of implied that you may have issues...”