I’m suddenly sure that mine won’t survive the year.
24
Abel
For eight long years, my plan has been simple. Survive. Return to take my rightful place as faction leader. Make Eli pay for all the pain and suffering he’s caused me and mine. There is absolutely no reason that last night should have changed anything. Sex is sex is sex. Yeah, we put aside our fucked up past to take care of Harlow, but that’s the only reason we were on the same page, and even then it didn’t last past the moment we all felt into an exhausted pile and slipped into sleep.
The first thing Harlow did upon waking was flee.
The first thing Eli did was chase her.
Both expected things, as long as I don’t fall into the trap of assuming that all the orgasms and pleasure meant something. It obviously didn’t to them. It shouldn’t have to me, either.
But then, my rules have always been frustratingly flexible when it comes to Eli. Why should heartbreak, betrayal, and eight years of grief change that? It pisses me off so much, I can barely breathe past the rage. Last night is a glimpse of what we could have been. A future that he set on fire right along with my childhood home.
The bathroom door opens, and Harlow strides out, stopping short when she sees me awake. She looks frazzled. She hasn’t taken the time to dry her hair, and she’s got that too-wide look around her eyes that says she and Eli had another altercation.
I sit up. “Hey.”
She glances back at the bathroom and lowers her voice. “I’m going to change and then go check on a few things. I…” Harlow takes a deep breath and marches to the bed. She hesitates and then reaches out and takes my hand. “Abel, could you talk to him? Actually talk, not just posture and threaten and end up with his mouth around your cock again?”
I have to fight for an arrogant grin. “Why bother, when I love him sucking me off so much?” Despite my best efforts, the words fall flat.
“Abel…” She gives me a small smile, though her eyes are sad. “If you two ever managed to work together, you’d be unstoppable.” She frames my face with her hands, leans down, and presses a light kiss to my lips. The casual intimacy shocks me as much as her words.
I capture her wrists in a loose grip, holding her touch to me. “You’re asking for the moon, sweetheart. No matter if it would be a good thing or not.”
Another of those achingly sweet kisses. “If anyone can get me the moon, it’s you. At least think about it. Please?”
It’s not as if part of me has already been considering future possibilities. Not forgiveness. I don’t know if it’s in me to forgive Eli, and he obviously doesn’t crave that from me. But I haven’t been able to get what Harlow said yesterday out of my head. The policies Eli’s put in place, the very same fucking ones that we planned together all those years ago.
I want to know why, if his goals were always the same as mine, he did what he did. I want fucking answers. I don’t know what I’ll do with them, having spent eight years telling myself that they don’t matter because I’m going to set the scales right. But I want them all the same.
Am I actually considering this?
I finally release Harlow. “I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you.” She turns away and walks to the closet, disappearing inside. A few short minutes later, she returns. She’s wearing jeans and a tank top and has pulled her hair back into a ponytail. It strikes me that she still has clothes in this room even if she’s moved most of her stuff down the hall. She gives me a faint smile. “Is there anything specific you need from me today?”
No, but I don’t like the thought of not seeing her until tonight. “Check in on Fallon and Monroe.”
“That’s where I’m headed now.” She makes a face. “How are you going to play things in the long run with them? They both have jobs and responsibilities in their respective factions.”
A reality I was hoping to put off for a bit longer. “After you talk to them, we’ll figure it out. Feel free to negotiate on my behalf.”
Surprise flares in her eyes, quickly followed by a warmth that I crave the same way I crave dawn’s light after a particularly brutal night. “You trust me enough to give me that power?”
“I trust that you and I are in line with wanting the best for the faction.” Which isn’t quite the same thing as trusting her entirely. But it’s still a huge admission. “Do what you need to do.”
Harlow opens her mouth, seems to consider what she’s about to say, and finally nods. “Thank you.” She reaches for the door. “See you tonight?”