She holds my gaze in a glare as she strokes her clit, chasing her own pleasure even as I pound into her. I growl. “No matter what else is true, you love my cock.”
“Cold fucking comfort, Eli.”
Her cruelty and anger only drive me on, feeding mine. I drop on top of her and hitch her leg higher to get deeper. I wrap her hair around my free fist and jerk her head to the side. She gives a breathy moan that I feel all the way to my balls. “Is this what you want, baby? You want to be fucked hard by someone who doesn’t give a damn about you? Someone who’s going to treat you like a dirty little slut and make you come all over his cock?”
She digs her nails into my ass, pulling me closer yet. “No matter how hard you fuck me, it’s not going to change the fact that you want his cock.”
I hate that she’s right. That’s not what this is about, though. Or at least not entirely. “You might think he sees you, but he’s using you just like he’s using me. When he’s done with you, he’s going to drop you in the trash and walk away without looking back.”
She moans, and her back bows. “Still a better future…than the one in a gilded cage that you’re offering.” Harlow cries out as she comes, clenching around my cock hard enough that I lose control. I pound into her, chasing my own pleasure, hating how things have turned out between us even as a dark part of me delights in taking off the gloves. A part of me I never, ever let off the leash. Looks like I don’t have a fucking choice right now. It’s in the driver’s seat, and there’s no going back now.
I collapse on top of her and turn my head to find that we’re no longer alone. Abel stands in the middle of the room, watching us with an unreadable expression on his face. He catches my gaze and raises his eyebrows. “By all means, don’t stop on my account. I was just beginning to enjoy the show.”
The man I was twenty-four hours ago would have moved to cover Harlow, to protect her. But she doesn’t want my protection. She hates me for even thinking to offer it.
I leverage myself off her, leaving her splayed out and spent. “Enjoy my sloppy seconds, asshole.” I stalk to the bathroom and slam the door behind me.
Regret hits me hard enough to buckle my knees. What the fuck am I doing? I brace my hands on the sink and let my head drop between my shoulders. This isn’t me. This isn’t what I do. No matter how pissed I am at Harlow, that doesn’t excuse how I just acted.
The urge to go out there and apologize nearly overwhelms me, but I muscle it down. Even if I do, all it will accomplish is making them believe I’m even weaker than they already do. No, backtracking isn’t an option.
Come on, you’re better than this. Stop reacting and think.
That’s just it. I need to think. I’ve been pure reaction since the moment Abel and the rest of the Paine brothers walked into the amphitheater. I have not successfully run this faction in the five years since my father’s death by being impulsive and emotional.
I need a fucking plan, and then I need to put it into motion.
If I’m going to take back everything Abel stole from me, I have to start now. Right this fucking second.
10
Harlow
After all this time, I should really be past the point where Eli’s able to break my heart. I hate that my throat is tight and my face is on fire as I sit up and strive for some kind of dignity at that dose of humiliation.
For his part, Abel watches me the way I’d watch a cornered animal. Not sure if it’s going to collapse or attack. I wish I knew the answer to that question, too. I reach down and snag my jeans off the floor. It takes a few moments to set them right and pull them on, but I don’t feel better once it’s done. Not when I can hear the water running in the bathroom. No doubt Eli is scrubbing off every bit of evidence of me from his body.
That’s what I want, isn’t it?
I should be happy that it’s over. Or at least relieved.
Except it’s not over. For better or worse, we’re tied to Abel for the next year. There’s no clean break, no escaping this proximity. We’re going to be sharing space, digging our fingers into each other’s wounds, trampling each other’s emotions, for twelve more months. It makes me exhausted just thinking about it.
I smooth my hair back from my face. “Did you need something?”