“Get some sleep. Okay?” I gesture to the cake. “And eat.”
“I will.”
It’s hard walking away from her, but I feel better after telling her I’m not going anywhere. I’ll give her a week, but after that, we’re settling this once and for all.
ARIA
The past couple of days have been pure agony. Every time I run into Forest, his patient smile chips away at my resolve to put distance between us.
I’ve thrown myself into my art, much to Professor Neel’s delight. Hey, at least I’ll get an A.
It’s after ten when I walk into my bedroom, my body sore from sitting behind a canvas.
I turn on the light and almost have a heart attack when I see Carla lying on my bed. She sits up, then mutters, “Finally. I was a minute away from falling asleep.”
“Hey.” I force a smile to my face. “What’s up?”
I go to my closet and grab clean clothes.
When I come out, Carla mimics Timon from The Lion King, “What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?”
She instantly brings a smile to my face. “I missed that.” I sit down next to her and take hold of her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” she murmurs.
We sit in silence for a couple of seconds, then Carla asks, “Wanna talk to me?”
I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
She lets out a sigh then says, “I’m a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.”
“Bruce from Finding Nemo,” I grin at her. “You’re so damn good at doing impressions.”
“Yeah, but do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” she asks, giving my hand a squeeze.
I shake my head, and it has her explaining, “If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to change yourself first. Love is good, not the enemy. Get it?”
I nod.
Carla turns her body to me. “Don’t punish Forest for what Eli and all the other dickheads you’ve dated did.”
“I’m…,” I begin to answer, but Carla shakes her head.
“You are. You put Forest on a pedestal while expecting him to fail.”
“I didn’t,” I argue.
“Then tell me what’s the problem,” she asks.
Carla only knows things ended badly between Eli and me. She doesn’t know what happened, though.
I let out a hopeless sigh. “I’m the problem. I’m no good at relationships. Forest deserves better.”
Carla shoves me so hard, I tumble off the side of the bed. “Shit, sorry,” she gasps. “It was either that or I slap you.”
“What? Why?” I ask while climbing to my feet.
“Because I had a sudden urge to slap some sense into you,” she grumbles. “God, Aria, do you ever listen to yourself? I mean, what the actual fuck? You’re no good?”
I shrug and go sit on the stool, for safety’s sake. My shoulders slump as I admit, “I’m the one who’s screwed up every relationship.”
“Enlighten me. How did you do this?” Carla asks. Crossing her legs, she rests her elbow on her knee and her chin on the back of her hand.
“Well, with Eli, I was too high maintenance and not good enough,” I give her the short version. “With Spencer, I wasn’t loving enough.” I let out a sigh. “The others pretty much ended because I either sent too many texts, or I didn’t send enough. I was either too clingy or too moody.” I throw my hands up in the air. “Ugh… I’m just not cut out for relationships.”
“God, you can be glad you’re sitting over there, or I’d slap you for real,” Carla snaps. My eyes dart to hers, and seeing the anger on her face, I begin to frown. Then she says, “The only problem is that you had shitty taste in guys. They were all fucktards.”
“Yeah, that too,” I agree.
Carla lets out an impatient huff. “Aria, you’ve never been the problem. Those dickheads were.” She shakes her head at me. “You need to sit down and talk with Forest. You won’t find a better man. Don’t lose him because you’re living in the past. Talk to him about your issues and let him help you deal with them, because at the rate you’re going, you’re going to lose him for good.”
I don’t want to lose him.
Carla gets up from the bed. “Things have already gone to shit between the two of you. What do you have to lose?”
Nothing.
The realization hits like a tidal wave.
I really have nothing to lose anymore.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Carla mutters.
She begins to walk to the door, but I dart up. “Wait.” When she turns back to me, I slam into her and hug her as hard as I can. “I know I suck at communicating but thank you for understanding me anyway.”
She rubs a hand up and down my back, “That’s what friends are for.”