"Pardon?"
She moved to sit on the edge of the bed, then gave him her rehearsed speech. "Grant, I've thought about our situation a lot. And I believe that you were right about us--that my feelings for you were mere infatuation. It occurred to me that I couldn't possibly suspect myself of having more substantial feelings when I hardly know you and don't know other men at all."
"What?" His whole body grew rigid.
She made her tone businesslike. "You were kind enough to point that out, even when I was so obstinate about it. I've come to my senses, so you have nothing to fear."
"It's a little late for this. I've bedded you," he pointed out needlessly.
She stretched her fingers to study her nails. "And I trust that won't get out to any of my possible marriage prospects when we get back to England."
His eyes widened, then blazed with anger. "You won't have prospects. You have no dowry. Your grandfather is impoverished. What will you do then?"
His words left her shaken, but she masked it. "Cammy and I will live with Grandfather at the Court."
"You won't be doing that either." His tone was ruthless.
"Why not?"
"The Court is mine. It's my payment for finding and returning you."
Her head slanted forward. Could she have misheard him? "You neglected to tell me that I would return to England prospectless, penniless, and homeless?"
"You didn't need to know at the time."
Her shock gave way to anger. "You lied to me."
"I never lied."
"You're claiming my family's ancestral home?" she asked in disgust. Her tone was scathing when she added, "Then you were wrong on the island. You are some hack delivering me."
"So would you like to tell me about your recent change of heart?" Cammy said over dinner in her cabin the next evening.
When Tori didn't answer, Cammy coaxed, "Please, tell me what you're thinking."
Tori set down the bread she'd just buttered. "I don't want to bother you with petty things--"
Cammy gave a short, humorless laugh. "I'm cabin-ridden for an interminable amount of time. I need you to bother me."
Tori took a deep breath. "I made love to Grant."
Cammy sat silently.
"Aren't you going to say something? Show any surprise?"
"I may be sick, but I can still see which way the wind blows," Cammy said, pushing her plate away.
"Aren't you upset with me?"
Cammy shook her head. "No, because Grant is a good man. I know he wouldn't have done that if he didn't intend to marry you. I suspect he's planning a wedding right now."
"He already told me we would marry."
Cammy leaned back and blew out a relieved breath.
"But I won't do it."
"What do you mean?" she asked slowly.
"I think I could hate him."
Cammy got a strangled look on her face "Do explain!"
"I overheard Grant tell Ian that he was...that he was embarrassed by me. That he was ashamed of me."
"Did he say those exact words?"
"No, but the meaning was clear. He said he would shudder to see me loose in England. That I was a mistake."
Cammy sucked in a breath. "He wasn't saying this for Ian's benefit? Men sometimes..." She trailed off when Tori shook her head.
"When he told me we would marry, I asked him if he cared for me. If he would be proud of me. If he was marrying me for more than his sense of obligation. He answered poorly on all counts." Tori dashed away a tear with the heel of her palm. "Besides, it makes perfect sense. I thought he found me attractive, and I absolutely let him know I was attracted to him, but he usually shied away. And the times he didn't--he obviously felt a deep measure of guilt."
"The times he didn't shy away?" Cammy asked in a choked voice. "Just how many times did he not shy away?"
Tori waved her hand as if the information was trifling. "We've kissed and such a few times."
Cammy looked heavenward. "And this before we even get to England."
Tori checked another irritating tear. "Yes, well, our arrival's going to be a bit different than it was presented. He lied about the Court." At Cammy's blank look, she explained, "He gets it--when Grandfather dies, Grant will own it. He'll own my family's land."
Cammy scratched her temple. "Why would Belmont make such a deal?"
"He has no money," she said sadly. "It was the last thing he had to offer."
"Let's think about this," Cammy began in a sensible tone. "Grant did spend more than a year on this mission. He deserves to be compensated for it."
Tori shook her head. "I think it's wrong, and he must too. Why else wouldn't he have told me about it?" She rose to stare out of the small cabin window. "Cammy, for the first time since I could remember, I felt secure. But it was false. We don't know what kind of life we're sailing into. To believe I thought so highly of him. He was only pretending to be this gentleman surfeit with honor." She placed her hand on the cool glass. "I fell for it, but I'll never let down my guard again."
"Tori, what if you're with child?" Cammy asked gently.
She was silent for a long time because she didn't know how to feel about that. She didn't have words to express the turmoil the idea brought her, the joy, sadness, worry, and regret. She faced her friend. "I'll know soon, in the next week, I believe."
Cammy nodded, and they agreed to put off any further discussions until then.
So Cammy spent the week resting and eating her new foods, and Tori and Ian strategized on the best way to make his lady forgive him for disappearing for so long. Their conversations helped break up her misery. He loved to talk about Erica's big, gray eyes, her sharp intellect, her shyness. At least one man on this ship was in love.
Ian couldn't wait for Tori and his sisters and mother to meet Erica. He predicted that all would adore her as much as he did. When Tori remarked that she would have loved to have so many siblings, Ian promised her she was about to have three new sisters, four with Erica, and a quirky yet lovable Aunt Serena. It was the first time Tori had smiled in days.
She sometimes caught Grant observing her and felt him even more, yet he never said a word to her, until on the very day she was sure she would not be having his child, he approached her.
"Victoria, I'd like to speak with you."
She exhaled as though very put out and walked to the cabin, sitting on the edge of the bed. He shut the door behind him, then moved to sit across from her. His blue eyes were somber yet watchful, searching her face--he seemed very concerned about her. That thought made it difficult to remain indifferent to him. But look how wrong I've been about him before. Obviously, she was woefully ignorant of what people were thinking and how they really felt. Her mind flashed to her bumbling attempts at seduction, and her face flushed.
"I'd like to ask you if you...has there been?..."
She gathered what he was trying to say. Part of her wanted to make him uncomfortable and force him to say the question. Finally, she said, "Am I with child?"
"Yes."
She fingered the coverlet in snappish movements. "Why do you care?"
"Why do I--? How can you ask that?"
"What would you do if I was?"
"I'd marry you." There was steel in his tone. "At the first opportunity."
She boldly met his gaze. "I wouldn't marry you under any circumstances."
His lips thinned as though he just held his fury in check. "This has gone on long enough. I don't know what I did to cause you to cool toward me, but you shouldn't take that out on an innocent child. You'd make a bastard out of my child to spite me?"
"You, you, you!" She leapt up. "Why does everything have to be about you? Do you think I go about my days thinking of ways I can spite you? You flatter yourself if you believe I think of you at all."
"Then why?"
"Because I wouldn't chain myself to you for the rest of my life. I think you've been absolutely right about me all along. You aren't right for me. I hadn't had eno