An illusion, nothing more. "You could use a distraction, and I could use a new goal." A kernel of truth meant to garner pity. Others might disdain a blow to their pride, but not Puck. Not any longer. "The woman I wanted didn't want me back, so we parted ways." Truth. No one wants me, boohoohoo. Poor me. "Now..." He shrugged. Comfort me?
The woman in question--Winter. He'd hungered for her as much as he was able; he'd never met a woman like her. Strong enough to topple an army all on her own. But, when she'd rebuffed him, he hadn't cared enough to try to change her mind.
Sorry, beasty boy, but I'm in love with someone else. Me! You understand, right? No hard feelings. Other than the hard feelings in your pants.
He'd walked away without a single twinge of regret.
"Women are goals to you?" Gillian asked, sounding a little offended but a lot curious by the prospect.
Continued curiosity was a very good sign. "Why not? My goals, as well as my rules, keep me from sitting on a couch, watching soap operas all day, every day, while eating old pizza."
Bond. Escort. Return.
Hesitant, she said, "But, if you're unable to feel, how do you want a woman?"
"I rarely feel emotion, but I often feel desire." In particular, I desire a certain little dark-haired beauty. "The two aren't mutually exclusive, lass."
If Gillian wanted him, he would bed her. The things she made him crave...
Once again he wondered if she would have the power to make him come, and how Indifference would react.
There was only one way to find out...
If he had to lie and tell William he wouldn't ever touch her, he would. Anything to achieve his goals. Or maybe he would be better served refusing to keep his hands to himself. Jealous men did foolish things, like agree to help a total stranger murder another total stranger.
Of course, everything hinged on Puck's ability to save Gillian from certain death.
"You make a good point, I suppose." She offered him a small smile, and yet, never had a female looked sadder. "I feel all kinds of emotion, but never ever desire."
So she didn't yearn to bed her precious William? A lie, surely. "You've never desired a man?" Tell me the truth. Tell me now. For some reason, Puck had to know.
Indifference dug his claws in deeper while issuing another warning roar.
Gillian shifted away from him, her little body even more tense than before, her dark eyes haunted. Haloed by the setting sun, she radiated more pain than any one person could possibly endure. Or survive. Especially a fragile human on the verge of death.
Whatever ice he'd managed to maintain--toast.
"I don't want to talk about it." Reminding him of a wounded animal cornered by a hungry predator, she lashed out, saying, "Change the subject or leave."
8
Puck didn't change the subject, and he didn't leave. I'll take door number three, lass.
"Ah. I understand," he said. "Someone hurt you." He uttered the words matter-of-factly, but deep, deep inside, he seethed. Who had dared to brutalize his wife?
Thinking of her as wife now, rather than future wife?
The butterfly tattoo sizzled on its return to his shoulder.
Because of the punishments meted by his demon, Puck was intimately acquainted with the helplessness that accompanied the inability to stop an attack. While incapacitated and unable to fight back, he, too, had been brutalized in the worst of ways. Only, when his strength had returned, repaying violence with worse violence had been easy. He doubted this fragile flower had ever gathered the power to do the same.
"I'll kill the man responsible, whoever he is." Gladly. Bloodily. "Just tell me his name."
"Names. Plural," she snapped, then pressed her lips together.
"One man or one hundred, it makes no difference to me." He would kill them all. Blood would flow in great, sweeping rivers.
"Thanks for the offer," she mumbled, deflating, "but I think they're already dead."
She thought, or knew?
Considering her relationship with the dark one... "William must have meted punishment." And kept the details from her?
From everything Puck had observed about the secretive male--yes, absolutely.
One of her delicate shoulders hiked in a shrug, her only response to his question. "Are you on friendly terms with William?"
"I know of him, and I'm sure he knows of me--" who didn't? "--but we've never officially met." Truth.
"If you want to be his friend, sneaking around his property isn't--"
"Oh, I don't want to be his friend." Another truth emerged unbidden. "He can hate me." Hatred was a guarantee. "I don't care one way or the other."
"That's unwise. If you aren't his friend, you're his enemy. His enemies die painfully."
"Do you care?" If she could accept William's dark side, she could accept Puck's. A point in his favor. "My enemies die gratefully, glad to finally escape me."
Now she rolled her eyes. "You immortals and your blood feuds."
"Don't you mean us immortals?" Best she accepted her fate as soon as possible. An eternity awaited her, ready or not.
Longing pulsed from her. "No, I don't. I'm going to die, remember? Before the transformation is complete. Which means a bucket list is stupid."
Because she would be forced to pick things she could do from her sickbed? How...sad.
"You will die, yes." He found a pebble, tossed it into the water, giving her words a moment to sink in. The time to play the hero had come. "Or I could bond with you." Too eager? "I suppose," he added. Not good enough. He needed to spell out his role. "I could save you by joining our souls."
She gaped at him...with interest? "Um, the only way to save me is bonding to me? So, are you actually proposing to me?"
"Yes." Verging on too eager again? "No," he said then. Too disinterested? A frustrated sound brewed in his chest, and he pursed his lips. "I don't want to bond with you, but I don't not want to bond with you." If he could have kicked his own ass, he would have. Blowing this big-time. "It's just something to do. Something mutually beneficial." Better.
Her hands flattened against her stomach, as if to ward off a terrible ache. "Aren't you worried I'll make you mortal?"
Not anymore. Not even a little. "I'm the dominant between us. My life-force will overpower yours, I'm sure of it." Then you will be mine, and mine alone...for a time.
She opened her mouth, snapped it closed. Opened it, snapped it closed.
Inside Puck, anticipation and nervousness vied for supremacy, inciting Indifference to slash and riot.
Come on, lass. Hurry! Tell me what I need to hear.
Finally Gillian sighed and said, "Thank you for the kind offer/non-offer, but I think I'm going to pass."
A new surge of frustration joined the deluge, causing the demon's tantrum to intensify another degree. Careful.
No! Not careful. Not here, not now. Puck needed to know where he'd gone wrong.
Trying for a reasonable tone, he said, "Is it because of my horns?" The fur? Hooves? If only he could shapeshift, as he'd done before his possession.
Seeming lost again, she crossed her arms over her middle. Rousing sympathies...
"I can hack them off," he said, proceeding. "They'll stay gone, for a time."
No response.
"I haven't always looked this way."
"No," she replied, and he had to backtrack to figure out what she denied.
His horns, he realized.
"Appearance has nothing to do with it." When she peered at him again, her breathing was labored, her skin dotted by perspiration. "You would want to have...you know."
You know? "Sex?"
A glorious flush appearing in her cheeks, momentarily giving the illusion of health, she nodded.
Often and thoroughly, lass.
If he could come without punishment. Hell, if he could come at all. Though the girl had made him feel more in the past twenty-four hours than anyone else had managed in...he couldn't remember how long...she might not be able to overcom
e his constant need to cater to Indifference.
"Correct," he said, his voice harsher than he'd intended, all force and no seduction. Considering the tragedy of her past, she would require gentling. A skill Puck wasn't sure he employed. Before his possession, he'd taken his women for a hard ride. "I would, yes."
"Well, I wouldn't. Ever."
"You think that now, but I would change your mind." Or die trying.
No, absolutely not. War before women.
If he had to take sex off the table, he would. And he would tell her so...would reassure her...any second now...
He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, and remained silent. No way would he limit himself to such a degree. Because, when it came to sex, he would not lie. In this, he would always be truthful with her.
As he carefully considered his next statement, he found and threw another pebble. "I would never force you," he said. "I would wait for you to want it...to want me."
"I'm telling you, no matter how skilled you think you are, you'd have to wait forever."
"I'd have you in bed within the month, guaranteed."