So I get on the plane, determined not to let my heart cloud my judgment ever again. I knew it was a mistake to kiss him. I should’ve stopped myself before we went too far. Now I’m having to sit down on a seat feeling completely gutted.
God, why does it feel like I’m leaving my heart behind?
* * *
Amir
I spend an hour locked away in my room.
I don’t want to speak to anyone. I don’t want to see anyone. I just want to be left alone.
However, I can’t stop fuming and pacing around my room, thinking of all the ways I could’ve done better, how I could’ve stopped her from leaving, how I could’ve … everything!
It all just went by so quickly, and I never got a shot to repair what I broke. I didn’t want to lose her. Didn’t want to say goodbye.
But by the time I managed to escape my father’s anger, she was long gone. Even the workshop was left as it was. It was like she was never even here to begin with.
And it pisses me off to no end. My father’s so hell-bent on making me into what he thinks is the perfect son that he’s losing me in the process. I don’t care about being a prince. I don’t care about this palace or all the riches.
All I want is her, and now she’s gone. Disappeared. Forever, maybe.
And it’s all because of him.
I’m left with a hole in my heart and a wish to scream my lungs out. So I do. Without regret, without any doubt, I release my rage on my father the moment he appears in my room again.
“This is your fucking fault!” I yell, pointing at him as he steps inside without knocking.
“How dare you raise your voice—”
“No, how dare you ruin this for me? Maya was the one girl I wanted to keep.”
“Oh, please, she’s just a foreigner who was here for work. That’s it,” he says, waving it away as though it’s no big deal. But it is to me. It’s time he finally understood. “When are you going to get over it? It’s time you got back to business.”
“You don’t get it.” I tap him on the chest. “You want me to become a prince. Someone people can admire. Someone fit for the throne. Yet you don’t even let me make my own decisions. You think you need to control me, but you’re pushing me further and further away.”
“A prince should care more about his country than himself,” he says.
“Maybe I don’t wanna be a prince,” I say, pacing around the room. “Ever think about that?”
“You don’t have a choice,” he says.
“Except I do. I could walk out of here tomorrow and never come back.”
His face turns dark, like thunder and lightning. “You wouldn’t.”
“Don’t tempt me,” I say, clenching my fist. “Because I really am thinking about it.”
“Why?” he asks, approaching me, but I look away. “Over some girl? You’ve lost your mind.”
“No …” I grasp the clothes she made and hold on to them, smelling them, knowing they were in her hands. They still carry her scent. I wish I could smell it one more time.
“I’ve lost my heart.”
The gravity of it all sinks in like a stone, and I feel like I can barely breathe when I look at the mess that’s left.
“You’ve fallen in love?” he asks. “With a commoner? That’s not possible, you’re—”
“A prince. I know.”
“Exactly.”
“Then I don’t want to be a prince,” I say, gazing at him over my shoulder.
“What did you say?” He frowns.
“You heard me,” I say, standing my ground. “If I can’t have her, it’s not worth it.”
“Nonsense. There are plenty of other actual royal girls available.”
“I don’t want them. I want her. End of story.”
“And what if I don’t agree?” He places his hands against his side.
“Then I’ll quit.”
“Quit what?” He scoffs. “Being a prince?”
I nod. “I don’t care.”
“You’ll lose your right to the throne,” he says. “The palace. The money. Everything.”
I shrug. “It means nothing if I can’t choose who to love.”
His lips part, but there’s no response. I know he can see the look on my face. I mean it for real this time. No joke. This is it.
“You’re willing to risk everything for that girl?” he asks.
I nod. “I told you, she’s not just any girl. At least … not to me.” I sigh. “I want her. Only her.”
“So you’re dismissing all the potential royal ladies waiting for you to make a choice?” he asks.
“They only want me so they can be queen.” I scoff.
He frowns. “You don’t know that.”
“The ones you’ve made me date so far have. And that girl, Maya … she doesn’t want me because I’m a prince. She just likes me for who I am.” I approach my dad. “And having her in my life was the best thing that’s happened to me in years.”